Monday, May 29, 2006

Have sombrero and donkey legs will travel! We're off to the Yucatan, will be back in 10 days, Hasta luego amigos.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Coming soon, World Cup Girls!

Question: What would you recommend for engrossing beach reading? We're off to la playa on Tuesday and I've got to stock up on books...

Friday, May 26, 2006

One cannot imagine the monumental scale of this memorial sculpture we erected at Kellogs Diner last night. It began as a stairway to heaven and ended as an island of the forsaken complete with eurpting volcano. BoadweeBlog has a song posted today to go with this post.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

I'm not a big soul/gosple/funk/hiphop fan, but here are all these genres mashed together by Gnarls Barkley, Cee-lo Green and Danger Mouse (of the infamous Gray Album) to make a joyful cover of an old spiritual classic. Barkley made chart history in Brittain with this single "Crazy", it went straight to number one the day it was released before a single copy was sold because of digital downloads and it stayed at number one for eight weeks. Yesterday it broke a record for longest-running chart-topper. Crazy sits at number 34 in Billboard's Top 100, so you might start hearing this on the radio, but incase you don't check out the video below. The album, St.Elsewear, is getting all sorts of rave reviews, might have to break my "No Soul" rule and pick this up.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Office inspired Sculptures and instalations

pper management would like to dedicate this blog post to Gene Tierney and anyone else who has to be in an office today. The new song of the week is for you. At times, Gene has expressed overwhelming feelings of utter hopelessness about her job and her new collection of Cathy and Dilbert office
paraphernalia is a disturbing new trend. A lot of you blog from offices, I know it's a bitch having to deal with mind numbing bullshit, maybe it would help if you give yourself a better title. Also our in house psychiatric team informs us that extroverts don't get as tired at work as introverts. Just a factoid to chew on, the spitoon is on the 2nd floor next to the collator.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Word has it this movie is scary and powerful. Al Gore campaigns to raise public awareness of the dangers of global warming and calls for immediate action to curb its destructive effects on the environment.

"An Inconvenient Truth" opens in New York next Wednesday, May 24th, and
how it does on opening weekend will determine how many other cities get to see it, basically if enough people see it here in NYC or LA from Wendsdays through the weekend it will be released country wide. get tickets and or see the trailer here.

Monday, May 22, 2006

If your thinking your to good to boogie (boogie) Boy oh boy have I got news for you

We've got a fanfrickentastic new feature here at ABCN. Belly up to the sidebar and download a *new* Song of the Week.. I may change the song more or less often so keep a look out. Right now I'm scouring the music blogs for MP3s I like, but any second now I'll figure out how to post music from my iTunes on to this blog. (Anyone know how to do it? I'll barter for tech support.)

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Wouldn't it be refreshing to wake up in a room with pictures like these on the walls? Here are some snaps from Susan and Michael Horts guest room, the greatest guest room in the world.

I couldn't care less about Elizabeth Payton's work but I put it in the pic below so to show the scale of the beautiful little Neo Rausch next to it. I've never seen Rausch work on a small scale and thought this painting was a gem.

Simon Watson gave a tour of the collection which he rehangs once a year. The Horts have over 2000 works, he picks out about two hundred to show. Their collection is far and away the greatest contemporary collection I've seen.

A Jim Lambie drawing hangs in the stairwell.

Felix Schramm made the instalation and sculpture below. The wall looks like it got wacked by a wrecking ball. The small sculpture has an off center record playing and it sounds insane. Thumbs up Felix Schramm, whoever you are.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

It's tumbleweed city around here. Nothing much to report on. I spent the day wondering from room to room and then did a slide talk at Queens College that 3 students showed up for. Meanwhile BoadweeBlog is ON FIRE. Keiths photoshopping skills are sick and vicious and the music recommendations are always spot on. Was too exhausted to go to The Bloodarm show in Philly tonight. Ben Lee, forgive me, I know, lame.

Ruh Row, now what? Three new activities I'm thinging of getting heavily involved in.

Thats all. My mind, shes a wasteland. Is it ok to start watching TeeVee at 11:30am?

Monday, May 15, 2006

*Today is the last day at the Upstate Sanatorium*
The patients have worn
the nursing staff down, our efforts were not sufficient to deal with many of the problems one encounters at an institution for the crimianlly insane and higher learning. For instance, last night we got a call from Inmate X, shall we call her Sybil? Sybil wanted a two day extention on a final project that we gave out two weeks ago. She hasn't started the project yet so we're wondering why she didn't ask for a two week extention since thats how long we expected final project to take. Her excuse: "I have never had to deal with being organized before," and was having a hard time keeping up with all the work. Not that we need them, but in other words, Sybil didn't work very much and fell behind. We are soft hearted scientists but this particular patient has missed too many electroshock therepy sessions to be granted special favors. The nursing staff dislikes an inmate who makes you feel like a shit-bitch when they fuck up. Anyhow its all over for now. On to better things...

Sit comfortably erect, without leaning forward or backward, left or right. Close your eyes and think of a globual. So just tell yourself, "May I find a glob." Remind yourself that true globbiness is something that comes from within, this is not a selfish desire. In fact, if you find and develop the resources for producing small, dense, round clouds of gas within you, radiate them out to other people. I am radiating globs to whoever reads this. Globs and globs to you!

Saturday, May 13, 2006


Friday, May 12, 2006

Tango dancers do it, legs do it, Hummers do it, marks do it, Armstrong does it, pants do it, old ladies at bus stops do it, and today to big ol paintings in my studio are going to do it.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

The ABCN Award for Excelence in Childrens Television

We first encountered Once Apon a Hampster staring hammy the hamster in P-town where Seamonkey was doing hard time at an art colony, Mr. Mike Iveson, the Mrs. and I drove up one December morning to ignore New Years with her and watch Tee-vee for 3 days straight. Imagine it's 2am you are channel surfing, you come across a hamster being ferried upriver on a speedboat with a toad at the helm, were astonished by the skill of the animal actors and baffled by the surreal scripts, like this one:
Episode 14. THE GOLDEN COACH After a ferocious summer storm, Hammy and Martha find a Golden Coach in a clearing. They all take turns going for rides as GP pulls it behind his Recyclamobile, then Granny Rabbit suggests they take the Coach back to its rightful owner. The next morning the mist clears to reveal a pumpkin, someone bakes a lovely pie.

Once Apon a Hamster even outshines the exceptional Bananas in Pajamas* for Excelence in childrens television.

*B1 and B2 are enormous strange bananas who act very gay, with searing wit, they ruthlessly tease the Teady Bears. Thats usually the plot.

Monday night:
Bottles of beer were being chilled inside a baby grand piano filled with ice but we opted to start the evening off with with a pink Champaign the likes of which were out of this world. The walls of the gallery papered with black seaweed and the table for 40 was gold leafed and topped with candelabras made out of fish. Sloth accompanied me to Paul Renners Hardcore Dinner Monday night at Leo Koenig Gallery. Paul is doing a weeklong dinner party, each night a new theme. Monday's dinner was called Fertile Breasts/Abundance and Excess. New York Magazine has a feature about it, the article claims we were eating calf’s tongue with wasabi caviar served on a bed of blossoms (an ode to cunnilingus)... is that what that was? The food was delicious, the desert by Will Cotton was spectacular, a heaping pile of cakes and tarts and donuts... made Mount Clowington look like a wart in comparison, dinner was topped off with an inverted stripe-tease by Dirty Martini where she started somewhat naked and dressed herself. One of the highlights of my evening was meeting Durian Gray, one of the co-authors of The Decadent Traveller, the Decadent Cookbook and the Decadent Gardener, three amazing books that came into my life this fall and are must reads, but more on Durian Gray later. Paul is a jovial and charismatic host, he was able to make 40 people feel cozy sharing a strange and beautiful meal together.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Here are some meat hats from a Designboom® competition and helpful hints for keeping your meat hat fresh. We are working on a giant meat sombrero which will also double as our headquaters

q: how can I prevent a hat of meat from going bad? a: we suggest that when not in use, you keep your hat of meat in the refrigerator or freezer. for periods of prolonged exposure, spraying your hat with a thin coat of hairspray provides hours of protection.

q: how do I discourage flies and dogs from pestering me when I am wearing a hat of meat? a: a squirt-gun filled with lemon or lime juice is an excellent canine deterrent. a thin coat of hairspray on your hat of meat will keep the flies away.

q: how can I combat the foul smell that sometimes comes with older hats of meat? a: a simple solution is to lightly baste your hats of meat with barbecue sauce, teriyaki or other aromatic marinades

Saturday, May 06, 2006


COLBERT: Wow, what an honor. The White House Correspondents' Dinner. To actually sit here, at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush, to be this close to the man. I feel like I'm dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You know what? I'm a pretty sound sleeper -- that may not be enough. Somebody shoot me in the face.

This post is for the one person out there who haven't seen
the video of Steven Colbert roasting Bush at the White House Corresponents Dinner yet, thanks to Mrs. Andry for the links. Here's the trascript which makes for some very relaxing bed time reading.

In summation: Bush is a joke and the mainstream press is a joke, Colbert is a fearless and hilarious man with Kong sized balls.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Things are quieting down at the refinery. There is still some work to be done but not much. We've let some people go, we're cleaning out work-stations and preparing for a 3 month long alcohol induced blackout and period of career reassessment.
Other options:
Day laborer
Nob thatcher

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Slovenian-born social philosopher (Slavoj Zizek) is famous for applying the tenets of Lacanian psychoanalysis to the culture at large, and analyzing the way people and societies alike delude themselves into thinking that they act freely and responsibly -Noel Murry
we went to hear Slavoj Zizek speak at Jack Tilton Gallery Monday night. Zizek, philosopher/social critic/politician/cult figure talked about fundamentalism (a danger to belief itself), Atheists (believe radically, without guarantees), violence and globalism (the more neighbors we have, the more fights we'll get into), political correctness (like fundamentalism, afraid of the other, obsessed with harassment), Tolerance (thumbs up or down), the violence of language (with language comes misunderstanding, meaning is in perplexity, not in naming), the monstrosity of other humans (tolerance is overestimated, the hazards of oversharing), comedy and tragedy, torture, the danger of Bill Gates and Bono, the invisible violence of a functioning society, the obscene underside of the church and the unconscious of an institution, breakfast danishes, and so on. He has an amazing way of turning thoughts upsidedown, making wild connections and finding irony in the most unexpected places, paradoxes abound. It was a lot of fun, a lot to take in.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Yesterday the Mrs. Took me to 33rd and Bird which just reopened in the South Bronx, SoBro if you will, (as Seamonkey says, and you will!) where we adopted a little 2 week old Love bird. He has to stay at the shop for another 5 weeks until he's old enough to come home. Right now he doesn't have alot of feathers, he's got "points" which look like tiny little sticks coming out of his head which eventually open up into feathers. We don't know if he'll be green or blue or if it's a boy or girl, but he's damn cute!

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