Saturday, May 27, 2006

 
Coming soon, World Cup Girls!


Question: What would you recommend for engrossing beach reading? We're off to la playa on Tuesday and I've got to stock up on books...

Comments:
I've got a book by Kuzuo Ishiguro
and some science writing by Bill Bryson
(A short history of Everything) which I can dip in and out of.
 
I am jealous of these gals.
 
you shouldn't be. These gals are strictly amature hour, wait till you see the pros.
 
I'm inspired to spend my summer in a painted on bikini.
 
I positively LIVE in my painted on overalls
 
Hey, hey, careful! Don't sit on my red leather loveseat.
 
I'm not comforable with the hang of my brest and the way it rubs the paint off leaving big smooshes underneath.
 
Corns, I read a book by him--The Unconsoled and it was really hard to get into. The writing is beautiful, but a little to little to grab onto. Maybe not the best beach reading. A friend read his new one and hated it.
 
Is my thong painted on too?
 
sorry for my bad grammar and spelling above.
 
Yes Gigi, for the last time, we must paint thongs on all our girls
 
Hi! Morning! Breasts with swooshes under are good for humanity. I have forgotten how to read otherwise I would love to recommend something.
 
My right leg is acually painted. I lost my leg in a cheerleading accident so fortunately I know a good artist.
 
interesting, I'll dip into it this weekend to see if it graps me before lugging it to the beach. I got it from a friend who liked it, thanks for the warning
 
MM!! I can't wait to see you. Let's sit in the backseat, as usual, if you catch my meaning.
 
PD I was hoping to get in your 3rd base area back there. I am bringing bread stix.
 
I am reading Julia Child's memoir about her time in France. I really like it...but not a beach book really.
 
I want to bring all kinds of poky fried stix to poke and eat with my brethren.
 
Hi MM!!! I know, I've TOTALLY forgotten how to read to. I'll be listening to my Hooked on Phonics tapes in the car ride upstate today
 
What constitutes beach reading? Me not sure. I guess not too intense. Like not Ulysses.
 
Just make sure they are not sesame breadsticks, okay? I can't take the seeds all up in my business.
 
Hooked on Phonix. Good place to start, I will get that too. I am a few steps behind you, but you are a good model to follow I think. Esp. with painted bum.
 
please save some pokes for me.
 
Well I wouldn't bring Julia to the beach 'cause she is a big hardcover. Otherwise....
 
Sesame seeds promote infection, internal bleeding, and learning disabilities. UNderstood. But how about orange cheez powder? And why am I so gross?
 
Corny I have a special Cheetos glove for you. For the treatments.
 
MM, I am bringing Crime and Punishment on audio cd--read by Harvey Firestein. Is that okay?
 
OMG. I am cackling loudly.
 
Hulking mass won't get out of bed. Hulking mass wants to be served by a team of servers.
 
Yeah bring that PDidders. Do it. I want to get very profound on this trip.
 
The Julia Childs book sounds great, I LOVE that woman, love the way she lumbers around the kitchen like an ox and her voice...
 
I want to get proundly to third base.
 
I was seriously depressed when she died. I loved her that much. I loved that she loved in-and-out burgers.
 
We have Moby Dick read by Fran Dresher on tape.
 
Proundly? It's a cross between proudly and profoundly.
 
I always loved it when Julia made mistakes. Also the tense energy between her and Jacques Pepin.
 
LOLOLOLOLOLOLO!!
 
Fran Dresher. Corny. You sick.
 
Yeah, she kept sneaking in more butter and wine when he wasn't looking.
 
I would like to know who would be good to read Ulysses. The guy who announces contestants on The Price is Right?
 
No, Mr. Movie phone.
 
Poor Jacques could not control his seething resentment when her swollen arthritic paws got dropsy.
 
Can you imagine hearing Truman Capote reading that?
 
PD - horrors!! What an awful thought.
 
Or Willie Nelson singing it?
 
I wouldn't mind a Muppet reading of any book.
 
MM slow down. Breathe into paper bag. Psychotic energy rampant and pillaging.
 
Yes, it needs to be set to music.

Ulysses: THE MUSICAL!
 
lol.... gog stop, your killing me
 
I'd like to hear it read by a 2rd grader using phonics
 
Maybe real slow so all the words are sounded out. Yes. I wouldn't mind Kevin Dillon reading it either. He is profound like Jesus.
 
I want to hear it read by Cheech in spanish.
 
Charo?
 
I wonder if Cheech actually knows spanish?
 
Or all the cast of the Love Boat. One at a time. A round robin Love Boat re-interpretation of Ulysses set to music.
 
"When is Ulysses coming home? Coochie coochie"
 
There is no such thing as Spanish from what I am told. Spanish disappeared last May for some reason.
 
OH SHIT! That's effed up MM!
 
PD - noodle noodle.
 
I love Ulytheths, I'd like to read it into a tape recorder.
 
I just downloaded a podcast of Ulysses! Cool, dudes.
 
Thumbody i would like to hear you speak for a thousand days in a row. Your lithp is enchanting.
 
Yea, round robin reading by the cast of the love boat while they maul each other with rakes
 
Get the shredded wheat into your iPod Mcfarland, it enhances the vocal axioms.
 
...in Cabo San lucas.
 
Corny laughtrack times ten.
 
The bloody love boat re-enactment. There could be maggots by the end.
 
my pulse is racing, I'm inspired. My head is swimming with the dolphins
 
This is a good way to begin the day. I am fortified.
 
I found 10,000 maggots in the garbage can outside The mounds earlier this week...I ment to blog about it..it was SO TRAMATIC!
 
How 'bout Ulysses read by Ricardo Montelban while roasting Herve on a spit...on Fantasy Island?? Anyone?
 
sorry, I'm falling apart. I need to go tend to the smooshes.
 
Maggots? Oh Corns that is really rough. I would just shrivel up with fear.
 
See you later COrns.
 
PD!!! I'm very excited. You will not excape the needy grasping of the Cheeto Glove®
 
MM...later for you too.
 
Give me the orange powder--I am ready for it.
 
boo, i missed out on the funs, but save some orange powder. I will make sure to pocket some discarded syringes on my way to the L train for later use. see yous later skaters.

oh, corny, i recently read Prep - totally engrossing.
 
Thanks Fb, I just read the times review, it's excelent.
 
corny, take THE DIARIES OF KENNETH TYNAN. hilarious, intelligent, informative and scintillating. BEST BOOK EVER ALMOST. xo kb
 
hey corno, read anything by Harry Crews ( try Scar Lover). also Maribu Stork Nightmares by Irvine Welsh is a great read. and one of my all time faves is Geek Love by Katherine Dunn. all above are warped and depraved... perfect waves, bikinis and margaritas.
 
Hi Corny, try "The Crimson Petal and the White," by Michel Faber. It's a page turner about a prostitute in 19th C. London. It has a cheesy cover, but it's really good.
 
There really is a place named La Playa?
 
must... play... socc...er...
 
I think the Dirt (the Motley Crue story) co/ghostwritten by Neil Strauss is an excellent beach read: http://www.blackchampagne.com/reviews/b-the-dirt.shtml.
 
The Year of Magical Thinking (Didion), unless you think a story about your husband and daughter dying might be a bit heavy for the beach. Veronica (Gaitskiil), is good, but as chalk full of sex as earlier Gaitskill. Paul Bowles stories are always good for foreign travel, or Jane Bowles, if you are feeling homo. if you can always just stick to the MJ and ipod like I do on the beach
 
ps-- that nasty anonymous from yesterday was NOT me. I love Kelli.
 
Please check out comments from yesterday. Anon has not responded to my multiple choice test. I'm thinking C or D.
 
definitely. you are clearly awesome and anon is clearly jealous. let me know if you want me to kick anon's ass. I will go to the gym and become butch just for that..
 
Dysphoric I don't want you getting hurt. I myself am Femme or Bitch. First we need to know if it is C or D. If it is C Anon might be working out.
 
on reviewing the comments, I'm fairly sure it's D. Loser with cap L. I'm going to wake up early to go to gym.
 
This is obviously a question for Sea Monkey, who actually reads while surfing. She gets bored sitting out there waiting for the sets to roll in. In the meantime, I'm gonna go ahead and say Joe Westmoreland's Tramps Like Us, which I'm currently reading. If you haven't read it already, it's fun and good.
Re: the excellent airbrushed soccer ball ladies-
We have a choady beach here in San Diego (well ok, they're all choady at some point,) but this one, called Mission Beach, is deffinitely the choadiest. Anyway, there is a cement promenade along the length of it, like in Venice, where people bike & skateboard, etc. There is a special local choad there who is about 45 or 50 (hard to tell with sun damage,) who rollerblades there regularly wearing nothing but a man g-string and body paint, and headphones blasting big symphony crap and opera arias so loudly that everybody can hear it coming from his headphones. He does slow, interprative rollerblade dance movements up and down the promenade to the music. My fave body paint theme of his is basketballs on his butt cheeks.

Whew! That was a lot of work on Sunday morning on not enough caffeine, all for that dumb story. I know you guys see that shit every day there on the subway, but here it's more special.
 
right-o, we're off to Saint Marks Books, I've got my list, thanks. There are some wonderful suggestions here, a reading list to last for the next few months.

Hearts, moons, clovers, rainbows, pandas,
to everyone.
 
Capt'n can't wait to read Joe's book, thanks for reminding me.
 
Enjoyed a lot! »
 
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