Thursday, May 04, 2006

Things are quieting down at the refinery. There is still some work to be done but not much. We've let some people go, we're cleaning out work-stations and preparing for a 3 month long alcohol induced blackout and period of career reassessment.
Other options:
Day laborer
Nob thatcher

I would choose Gambler, as it is closest to the art carrer and will not be a jarring change.
oopsa, CAREER
Corny the choice is clear to me and I must disagree with Vapes although I mean no offense...Nob Thatcher. Although I am not 100% sure what it is the evocations are fluid and stretch-worthy. I am thatching the nobs, that's nob not knob. The nob is directly above the center, leaning slightly eastward. The nob is the sensitive part. I am excited for your new options Corny and I think I may join you in the shape-shift.
I'm leaning towards Helper or Hermit... I think you're right about Gambler being close to present career choice, I think I have to take it off the list.

As I've said too many times, I'm not sure there can be two nob thatchers in one household. Unless, of course, you work exclusivelky with the merkin line.

The Mrs.
I like the Hermit idea. I am ready for that one.

Merkins are 4 everyone.
How alluring. Its versatile too, you could wear it on your back and sholders as well.
I've always thought underarm merkins were undervalued.
Gene, that is some merkin there. I am pretty close to hermit now, so I'll cook in the state prison.
Yeah! Stop cutting us off at the knees, yo!
chin wigs, they're not just for breakfast anymore
Gene underarms are undervalued in general. Let's bring them back into the forefront.
I would like to order 4 dark grey stock chin wigs for the following areas:

1. forehead
2. right palm
3. both breasts
Oh Corny that is special. I am growing a chin wig on the back of my hands.
I have been told I have many a chin, and many a chin wig.
PDiddles. I am smooshing you real nice in the back end right now. Through the waves.
I was saving my back end for your return. Thank you, mm, thanks. I smoosh you back and front and sideways.
I recommend the 2-bumwig look, x-tra long, like sweepy crumb-catchers. Also good for erasing feetprints on the beach in case of crime spree.
You always think of everything Slothers!
i really, really want to commit crimes on the beach, pd.
I commit a crime every time I step on the my bathing suit.
my leg hair gets over 3 feet long if i let it grow, like a maxi-skirt, billowing behind me on the dunes...
I like to braid my overgrown hairs into corn rows and tie them around my fatty areas, strangling myself. It can be on the beach or anywhere. At the mall.
3 ft? That's nuttin, Corns. I can braid mine into a 5 ft long lasso that I use to pull sinking ships to shore.
I am a sinking ship, Vapor. Pull me ashore.
pd...lofrickenl. I want one of those old fashon long sleaved bathing suits.
And armed guards to accompany me around the beach holding up a towel to obstruct views so my deformed body will not accidentally dammage the eyes of innocent sun bathers.
The beach is a terror.
and braids sinking into layers of fat shmered with Coppertone and a fine layer of sand which helps the grip
I want to see the long and trailing sleeves! I will pay off the guards with sand dollars. they are easily duped.
my grip she's an iron lobster
MM, when swimming in the ocean, jelly fish like to gather around my mid section, it's like they're looking in a mirror, does this ever happen to you?
are you wearing the mirror vest again, corny? This explains everything.
mirror vest plus maxi skirt = so hot right now!
I wear a full-body wet suit and still the hair hangs out.
Sloths! And I thought bullet hole baby tee-shirts was going to by my easy pass to the good life, but my energy must go into creating a fantastical sideshow on the beach where the curious and intrepid may pay to peek behind the towel
Kathy, what the hell are you doing here?!?! And where's Dilbert?
i almost saved the Titanic with my braids.
My dark and rubbery skin IS my wet suit Peeds and yes, my hair hangs so low even the sand crabs can't limbo under it

or something
I've caught crabs in the bathing suit region too. It's an epidemic.

I wear beige-colred wet suits when not on the beach.
I love long braids on the beach, they're so "10", also useful, we can use them to surf-cast with

Make sure to scroll down to the "briefs" instructions lest you put them on incorrectly.
I like to wear an iron diving bell to the beach.
Thanks Dilbert. The full body girdle will come in handy uner my string bikini. I'm glad to know there are feet girdles available too.
I am a walking girdle. Otherwise, I would be mistaken for the Jellyfish That Ate New York.
F*ck!&*@^#*@F*ck%#@!&*!, I HATE the refinery AAAAARGUE, but I must go now.
Is anyone looking for a Charwoman?
I am going after laundry. I am dragging out the spin cycle as we speak.
It seems like everybody is dreading bathing suit season. I once slept with somebody who said "you wear really flattering clothes". I guess it could have been a compliment in some other situation. Context is everything.
resident alien
free agent
Kelli, yer cracking me up. Hope you thanked them for the complement before kicking their ass straight the hell outa your bed.
Ms. Andry, my long lost lover, come back to me, my head needs massaging
FYI I'm talking about a female lover otherwise I would have had some snappy comeback about them eating too many porkrinds.
I actually bought a really nice bathing suit in the dead of winter wnen they were on sale. People should come hang in their bathing suits at the Russian Baths in my nabe. They serve vodka and don't judge.
Ms. Andry! I need soiling!!! Meet you in the basement!

The Mrs.
A few candles, some vangellis on the stereo and a stein of vodka makes bath time so much fun!
only if i can do some birdwatching, you needy laddies....where is that bird?! It's not that moldy chocolate hen, is it? I looked everywhere for your alleged chirping baby. Didya kids eat it? Cannibal was my next career suggestion
Cannonball, that's me.
I ate rigatoni for dinner tonight, COrns. I hesitated, then remembered your bird's name is Foghorn (or leghorn?)
Vapes, you are free to eat Rigatoni any time, guilt free. Infact you can swim and bath in rigatoni, put them on your fingers tips and paint them with your favorite nail polish, do as you please with the rigatoni, birds name is Foghorn "Shrimps".
May I make a painted rigatoni collage? May I spray paint them gold and dangle them from my very long bathing suit braids? It would go with my gold lame thong for summer.
Desolate is the noodle without glitter on construction paper. This is a factor in blessed motivations. I am guilty just like you.
I knew you would understand Frogs. Macaroni and glitter --the new medium for a new generation.
from the outside the tube looks normal, that is, hot and sticky, but inside is the dimention of vulgar reasoning, I was dissapeared inside the tube, I spent a summer in a work camp in there. Now I'm muscle-bound but changed deep inside.
oh sh*t, I had shrimps for dinner... aaaargh!
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