Friday, May 26, 2006

One cannot imagine the monumental scale of this memorial sculpture we erected at Kellogs Diner last night. It began as a stairway to heaven and ended as an island of the forsaken complete with eurpting volcano. BoadweeBlog has a song posted today to go with this post.

didn't i see this work in chelsea last month?
joy joy joy
mm, it is a tribute to your toast tower.
correct me if i am wrong but isn't most Art that proves to be 'evocative or revolutionary' over time considered 'goofy and ugly' at its time of conception?
shoot, I missed the tower construction. sleepy-sloths. is it tall enuf to touch the ceiling? did someone get to bring it home?

No-where-man, I cut you.
DUDES! Cool er than cool and what not! I have a collection of drunken french fry towers I made over the years of heavy drinkin and drugs. I have them in my dorm next to the bongs! I missed you guys. Carla and me are back in the sack--woo hoo.
yes, it touches the ceiling in a very special way. I thing it holds up architecturally speaking, if i may, its like Falling Water on the Ganges
Slothy, the tower woulda benefitted from your sense of style and grace. We wanted to take it home for you, but the angry waiter-man swiped it away too soon. And he also punched MM in the box.
whao, that was some clumsey typing. I'm sick of these fingers, really fed up.
Yeah, he came in with a back hoe and repossesed it
Sloths I think we actually were going to bring the toast back for you and then the inspiration to dress it up just happened, (inspiration is like that!) so you are the muse of ToastIsland
corny, fingers would make a nice addition to the tower... just sayin.
aw, corns, I'm tetched.
Yes, that is exactly how it happened. I am too hungover to type or spell correctly too. I just had six chocolates and am hyped up.

I wasn't finished with that lettuce, by the way.
If you are planning to purchase a retirement condo soon then allow us to assist you with our prompt, courteous and efficient service. Select and Click on one of the following cities below

Toast Island
Pd, Your being a real selfish cunt about that piece of lettuce (which commited the ultimate act of giving by the way)
Is toast island the one with the midget? Dude, that's some crazy shit.
Uh, CORNY...excuse me, but I am watching my girlish figure.
oh, shoot my brain rod is letargic. Everything that seems funny in my head is comming out stupid and violent. I didn't mean to call you a selfish cunt. you gave up many fries and a piece of lettuce for the common good.

God it really is beautiful. We need Jeff Koon's fabricators to enlagre it for us.
Corns...I thought it was pretty is my "girlish figure."

Jeff Koons is kicking himself for not thinking this one up first.
check out Boadweeblog today he has THE PERFECT song to go with this post

Goddess only knows how much I love you keith
OMG!OMG! I can't believe that video. It is making me so hungry for the grease.
Crakin' me up, you krazy nuts.
I'm hungover too, but it sounds like you all had much more fun than i did last night. I must say that:

1. bourbon is a great invention

2. that sculpture is amazing. I like how the Katsup pulls the viewer's eye straight down to the "meat" of the installation. I bet the waiter has already approached Sotheby's and Christie's. better be careful with that shit. remember what happened to bisquiat, afterall.
Corny et al.,
I would love to make a support for said memorial, invisible, a magic carpet of sorts, spectral dust and all, lots of smoke, maybe some mirrors. And please tell me how to get "Crazy" more into my head; it hovers through every thought and infects even Funkadelic Maggot Brain. Beauty.
This is good enough. Maybe too much of a formal composition with the repetition of the reds and the downward movement. Not radical enough.
This tower of fries into the skies you have erected as a monument to your dreams is an act of hubris. One day it will all come crashing down. Mark my words.
Kelli please go away.
Kelli, I think I love you.
Capt'n I love you too even after finding out you are not the celebrity Capt'n Crunch. I often wonder who the anonymouses who dislike me are but am pretty sure they are male artists who make less money than I do. In the words of 50 Cent:
"the Top feels so much better than the Bottom. you're all just window shopping.
Kelli don't be too sure.
Ha, Ha, Ha.
Kelli, if it all comes crashing down I hope it crushes that nasty anon, oh and Cirque du Soleil also George Bush and the entire administration as long as we're making a list.
I'll tumble for ya.
Anticipation....Anticipay-yay-tion it's making me wait.

This is all because the ketchup wouldn't come out of the bottle, right?
Washed up loser who "taught" me at Yale? Classmate from Yale doing web design? Anon in 10 years when I am banging my pool boy and you are banging out watercolors at the artist's colony in Winnetonka I will look back on our time together with great fondness.
Great way to win us over, Kelli.
Hey I was being sweet. I'll even pass on the aplication for the anonymous and derivative artist's residency program. I won't be needing one. I think it's in Providence this year. There will be campfires, soccer and a big shed in the woods where folks can make their own Ab Ex paintings.
pool boys make great ab-ex tools
kelli. You are an ass. Keep on writing. You're only making a fool of yourself.
Anon; I apologize. Pool Boy was tasteless. Please substitute cabana boy. And I can't shake the feeling that I know you, you are at least 10 years older than me and your art career is flatline.
You should go ahead and use your name. I doubt you have much to lose.
Please answer truthfully:
A) you work at Starbucks and if you hear the word Venti again you will lose your shit
B) You graduated from the CalArts Feminist Art program the year I was born, make fiber art and have a gallery in Santa Fe
C) you work as a pool/cabana/rent boy or work for their political action committee
D) you are an ass-kissing careerist suck-up and it didn't pan out
E) you teach
F) up until a year ago, you were working as a bank teller, so shut up.
G) oops, your dealer publicly overhyped you and now regrets it because you can't produce the goods.
H) you have bizarre delusions of grandeur and no friends.

btw, many regulars who post to this blog happen to teach, including the blog administrator.
Anon you forgot got to answer but I can:
-I had a day job because I was unwilling to rent out my ass and marry well like other artists I know
-I couldn't be happier with my dealer and I won't be introducing you to him
-I discarded my old friends and replaced them

I'm assuming you teach. Good luck with that.
what is the fucking deal with someone being older than someone else???
Prediction: you'll be having to replace the new friends soon.
I've been choosing friends from outside the frustrated artist and hater community. But represent anonnymouse. I'm glad you have pride in your community. It's probably safe to use your name. Nobody has heard of you.
I predict two big hate-hangovers
I didn't bring the hate. Annonymouse has been griping and throwing insults for a while without having the stones to use a name. I'm guessing we went to Yale together and they took careerist ass-kissing 101 and it just didn't work out. I'm sitting here in my studio and the whole thing is amusing me.
there will be more than two...
I know you didn't bring it-
sorry, this is not the same anonymous who "started" it. But in your scattershot return-fire of hate, you managed to insult about two-thirds of the bloggers in this little corner of the blogworld. So now I do agree with Anon #1: please go away.
Two thirds of bloggers are bitter,careerist ass-kissers who spend a lot of time reading other people's press?
Maybe you should start up:
no, but many of us: 1. teach, 2. yes, are older than you, so what? 3. make ab-ex paintings 4. are annoyed by your self-aggrandizing, insulting tone
ahem,isn't this Cornys spot?While the cat's away...
oh yeah, 5. have some kind of day job.
Plans for the day:
-buy a pack of Marlboro reds so I can put some cigarette butts in my paint and inhabit an art historical tradition created by inebriated white guys
-spend a lot of time reading other people's press
-start artists' colony: Bowdownhegan

Or I could stick with the original plan of working in my studio and not policing the thoughts and opinions of others.
I'm a 72 year old who gives blow jobs in the parking lot-in my spare time,I paint kittens and write limericks-so scew alla yez
Cumgranny, c'mere. U are exactly my type...
yeh,I'll shew you my kittens heh heh
This is a bunch of nasty kids teasing a junkyard dog.

Kelli wipe the foam from your mouth and get it together. Why are you falling for the bate? You are making a spectacle of yourself online, exactly what "the haters" want to see, you are being manipulated. You seem to think you are better then everyone else yet you let the "ass-kissing careerist suck-ups" whip you up into a frenzy. Sinking to the level of buffoon, you insult everyone, your boastful display of self-satisfaction and snobbery alienates you even more. Normally I would shoot you but you've made me so sad, I'm sending you a hug.

As for the rest of you, I shoot you. Do you think you will win? Do you imagine Kelli saying, "you're right, I am a pompous little shit, oh and I'll never mention Yale again"
Half of what I said was a joke. I don't have a pool boy or want one. I wasn't jealous of other artists before I managed to work as one and I'm not jealous of the many more successful ones now. I'm sick of the hating and backbiting I've run into from strangers and people I thought were friends. I don't care about this stuff but someone apparently does because they have been leaving insulting remarks for a while when I basically have been making jokes and saying hi to Corny. Scroll back: I haven't said anything to merit it. It's probably someone I've met and given some of the specifics I think it might be a particular someone I was "taught" by hence my remarks about teaching. I didn't intend to insult other people but I'm not apologizing to anonymous or anony-mouse because for all my strong opinions I rarely make negative remarks about artists and haven't been malicious.
Sybil, is that you?
I'd like a pool boy...
I'd like a pool boy...
Kelli, you insult everyone and then claim it is a joke. how sad.
I think Kelli needs to invest some of her money in therapy focused on empathy and humanity.
I'm sure that I know one of these people from grad school because when I posted a postive remark about a classmate they responded as SKULL AND BONES to say that he sucks and so do I. I've been dealing with these nasty anonymous comments for months even though I generally leave positive comments on blogs. I'm opinionated but I've made negative remarks about individual artists twice.
I'm sick of this stuff.I'm sick of the game at parties and bars where people talk about how much an artist sucks and how undeserving they are. Right now the fave seems to be Dana Schutz. I've listened to that conversation a half dozen times sometimes from people with galleries and nothing to be unhappy about. I can tell that people making these remarks have met me and the anger has been unmerited. I'm generally a kind person as are a lot of the other artists I've seen totally trashed on these blogs. I think Corny tries to keep the hate to a minimum so I won't post again and I hope that the person who has been leaving these remarks will leave too.
Nope, not leaving I'm just going to sit right here and make nasty comments about you (all perfectly true ones mind you) until I'm bored silly. Yes maybe you know who I am, so what! Just gives me more ammo, more true stories about how undeserving you are. So there you are, reduced to being a silent victim. Boo hoo!
Thanks for proving my point. If anyone wonders why I was so annoyed here it is. There are a few people leaving these remarks on various blogs for months. At least one of them I know from grad school. This is not that type of blog. If you have some quarrel with me you can e-mail me at and I'll respond. Stop fouling what is probably the only lighthearted art blog.
I thought you said you wouldn't post again.
I'm waiting for your e-mail and for you to get off Corny's blog after following me here from elsewhere with your nastiness. You can use "grow a pair" as your subject line.
Sure thing Kelli.
would you two please stop polluting corny's blog with your toxic psychodrama? have some common decency & get a chat room.
right on Ugh. i am getting tired of this. i'd rather watch general hospital. actually, i'd rather read a script of general hospital in braille while someone administers bamboo torture.
You must still be entertained by it if you are coming back to an old post. I am really entertained by this conversation that is why I am here. I prefer Passion to GH
it hurts corny.

feed your need for attention elsewhere. please.
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