Monday, November 28, 2005


Fat and Fatigued, fine, but at least I have an excuse for Forgetful.

This from a blog I came across called Book of Joe
Edward Vogel, who heads the Visual Working Memory and Attention Lab at the University of Oregon Department of Psychology, in work published in the November 24 issue of Nature, demonstrated that awareness — "visual working memory" — depends on your ability to filter out irrelevant information. Said Vogel, in a press release about the paper, "Until now, it's been assumed that people with high capacity visual working memory had greater storage but actually, it's about the bouncer — a neural mechanism that controls what information gets into awareness." In other words, it's not your memory capacity that makes your recall good or bad, it's how good you are at disregarding the irrelevant. Their experiments used arrays of colored shapes and showed that individuals with high memory capacity were able to selectively ignore certain colors at will; those with less capable memories held all the shapes in mind simultaneously. Vogel noted, however, that the latter propensity might not be entirely a bad thing: "Being a bit scattered tends to be a trait of highly imaginative people," he said. So the next time you can't remember a name or who it is that just said hello to you, instead of beating on yourself and wishing you had a better memory, just chalk it up to your wildly imaginative self. The graphic at the top of this post, summarizing the study results, shows the correlation between a person's memory capacity and how effective they are at keeping irrelevant items out.

Bulldagger circa 1500
Shoulders are very important on the road to building a perfect body. Not only when you hit a double back bicep pose do they look amazing but when just standing up they look great. Also in my opinion when your side delts grow in proportion to your biceps it makes your biceps and arms appear more defined and large. When you pose your body should look perfect or as close to perfect as you want. So with that in mind you should not only see in a double back bicep pose your biceps, triceps, then skip and go right to your lats, you need a nice bridge going throughout your body.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Chicks, chains and a view of the open seas. My bowling and poker moniker is Olivia Cruise which looks something like this ---->

Or this
Or this
Or this
Or this
Or this

Friday, November 25, 2005


Team Shredder is looking for YOU!

This was posted a few days ago...

Bipolar Alcoholic Lesbian with ADD, Herpes, HepC, Unfinished Book, Zero $, SexDrive & Future seeks Biographer/Patron from Alternate Parallel Universe

You: Empty Inside. Send cash or money orders, payable to cash only, to: 1751 University Ave, #211, San Diego, CA 92103 Who should write the introduction? I'm thinking like Noam Chomsky or Godard. Afterword by Deneuve. Whatever. I'll think about it.
More about sea monkey below

SEND SEAMONKEY MONEY. 5, 10 dollars proly welcome. She will likely reward us by finishing the book which will HONESTLY be the most perfect and beautifully articulated masterpiece in the history of fiction ever. Trust me. Sea Monkey ≥ Dr. Laurie Weeks, or The Messiah to you. (This is what "Laurie Weeks looks like according to a Google Image search)

Ms. Andry sent me a link to her friend Melissa's blog and suggested it for A Blog Called Nowhere's SnackShack©. Ms. Andry is the martinet and as such, I do as I'm told. Melissa is a cab driver and she writes about it at New York Hack. It's a quality blog, I got sucked right the hell in.

Thursday, November 24, 2005


Earning the name Corny one keystroke at a time! We Got a lot to be thankful for this year. Here's a short list. We're thanking the goddess for the health, love and prosperity of our families, for eachother and for our new nephew Zach Eisenman. For the health love and prosperity of our pals. For Grandmaster B of the Blood Arm and his ability to raise my mood just with the sound of his voice. For our new home, (it's been an unbelievably stressful year trying to get this place to be habitable, 3/4 of way thru the renovation it caught on fire and we had to start over again). For all the new amazing music that came out this year, The Rakes, Art Brut, Maximo Park, Louis the VXI, Babyshambles, Tom Vek, Field Music, Soft Hearted Scientists, Franz Ferdinand, Kaiser Chiefs and all the rest. For our cat Cy. For all the great art that we saw this year that affirms our awe at the creativeity and brilliance we humans are capable of. Uh, for the Jammy Jar for being steadfast and true...uh, what am I forgetting? PS. just got a call from Ms. Andry who asked me to remind you that tomorrow is "BUY NOTHING DAY"
For 24 hours, millions of people around the world do not participate -- in the doomsday economy, the marketing mind-games, and the frantic consumer-binge that's become our culture. We pause. We make a small choice not to shop. We shrink our footprint and gain some calm. Together we say: enough is enough. And we help build this movement to rethink our unsustainable course.
read more about it at



Wednesday, November 23, 2005


Tit of Humanity Will Save Us All!

Yes that is breastmilk on my chin. Call the police, ok? My intelligently designed experiment over the past 3 days has proven that a steady diet of hi-quality entertainment and lactation can serve as sufficient sustenance for all human, and even inhumane, life forms rearing their heads on this forsaken planet. My addiction to the Tantamounter has only worsened. I can't stop sticking things in. I think I might die when they dismantle themselves, unplug the machine and leave us in the empty hole whence we came. What to do other than sit at home and replicate? Chicks on Speed deeply pressed my spacebar with their harsh truthfulness at 2 AM on the dot following PTR and Kev Blechdom feeling the love and understanding of a worshipping audience. Just because I work professionally with some of these people doesn't mean I am biased to think that these brilliant women reject the faddish attire of the self-congratulatory culture seeped in pukish pseudo-knowledge. Speaking of brilliant, go buy a spelt cupcake and meet me at the Martha Rosler library (I'm either at Tanatamounter or over there). Can anyone say Heresies 1977 Lesbian Art issue? Run, don't walk! Oh and on that highbrow note, I highly recommmend Henrik Olesen's What is authority? to start your capitalist anarchist day off right (no pun intended) tomorrow! Don't integrate! And don't forget to brush regularly!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005


Marguerite Perrin BobbleHead

Marguerite Perrin BobbleHead
Originally uploaded by Corncub.
Thanks Brook. Christmas has come early this year!

Saturday, November 19, 2005



My Barbarian's You Were Born Poor & Poor You Will Die @ Participant is a necessity in these here end daze. Nothing could be better than this one, they are hot shit. Hoping "Human Sacrifice" will be the next big hit or used as the opening track for the next filmic rendition in the Left Behind series. Kiss to the ass of Pimples lezzies for drunken me up last nite. Time to see if I can stay up until Chicks on Speed @ 2 am tonight @ Knitting Factory. Ja or nein? I am way too old for this kind of life. Everyone send good vibes to Corny & Ms. Cub in their new digs, they have joined the Ownership-Soceity!

Thursday, November 17, 2005


Super Plus Plus

A 2-day binge on a vitamin-free diet consisting of milkshakes, pierogis, jalapeno poppers and art overload with comrades LM Childs & Yves Fowler moseying from Abromovic's 7th easy piece (hugely dumb!) to Gelitin's Tantamounter (an astounding pleasure! see results to left!) has left me incredibly wanton. Will sex provide the nutrients I crave? Abromovic's series at the Gugg definietely brought out a range of mediocre to astounding possibilities of art formerly known as performance (Seedbed and Lips of Thomas being highlights)....a total of 49 hours of pain-and-pleasure-filled endurance fun! The series also brought out a plethora of freaky performace art fans (my deluded self as well) that were just as shocking to witness. It's hard to be avant-garde.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005


Feeling Blahg

It took a year of excrutiating pain to build up to this point to be able to take over Corny's blog, but here I am, finally moved in. The amenities are wonderful, and I'm really enjoying the room service.... And the house massesue is SUPER! So everyone strap on your Queer crash helmet or Heteropride tee and join me in this wonderful in-room cocktail at the end of the universe. But first listen to "Daddy Dictator" by the group formerly known as The Anarchy Steering Committee to get in the mood... PS> If you can figure out the significance of the heterosupremacist graphic above, you'll win a free cup of coffee shipped directly to you from The Corny Cafe!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

It took a year of excruciating pain (emotional, economic, psychic) to renovate a house in Williamsburg, but we're finally moving in this week. Also taking a trip to Pittsburg to deliver Sensory Induction System Technology or a "slide show" to the coeds at Carnegie Mellon U. on Wednesday, so I'll be taking this opportunity to give the reins of A Humble Blog Called Nowhere over to the brilliant artist and misandrist extrodinare A.L. Steiner. Expect the usual pile of wank you find on this blog to get considerably more sophisticated and substantially more political in the next 10 days. Peace out.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Up the Morning!!! This is how we like to embrace the day, With something MINDBLOWINGLY ADORABLE (also, this is a fairly acurate picture of how how DJ TWUNT likes to kick it) and a dynamite new pop number.
Just discovered The Futureheads' new tune "Area" on MoroccanRoll. Mmmm mmm, catchy goodness.
"Area" is on top of the NME Chart in its first week. The song will be featured on an EP to be released before the end of 2005. "Area" will not appear on The Futureheads' second album, which should be released next year.
The Futureheads - "Area"

Saturday, November 12, 2005

At the Cologne art fair, A.L. Steiner proposed to sell one million photo$ for 1 Euro each. This is an ambitious piece. There are only a hand full of female artists who can give their dealers a work worth a million dollars. Price tags that large don't ordinarily come with work by contemporary female artists, thus is Steiners point, to question the value put on work and to demonstrate the problem of being a female artist. This absurd amount of money is for the boys to aspire to, if a girl wants to make a million dollar art object she should make it accessable by breaking it up into a million easy pieces, the market does not trust woman artists enough to pay the high end prices for their work. Steiners photo show also seems to mock value placed on art while also making it a real possibility for herself to become rich... now if her dealer would just get off his duff and SELL BABY, SELL!

Gelitin is back in NY. I stopped by to say hi last night and they were busy building their gigntic xerox machine. All together 6 of them will be holed up in the box for the duration of the show (no going in or out) There will be a psychiatrist from Munich in there with them too. It's brilliant, they're brilliant, this show is for sure the highlight of our NY fall art season. Visitors can keep copies the Tantamounter makes.
The "Tantamounter 24/7" is a gigantic, complex and very clever machine. It's like a huge huge Xerox copy machine, only bigger and more clever. The friendly customer places their personal objects, ideas, smells on one of the entry ports and after a short analysis will be informed of the time it will take to produce the copy. The "Tantamounter 24/7" can scan two and three-dimensional objects, analyze their flavours, ideas, concepts and contents. As a clever machine it can not just copy or duplicate objects, but of course be tantamount to them. Due to its complex emotional circuitry one will never know how the "Tantamounter 24/7" will reflect the input. After the announced waiting time the input object and its duplicate will be ejected through the exit slot. The working mechanism behind "Tantamounter 24/7" is some completely hardwired intense individual agents operating day and night under close supervision of a bankrupt psychiatrist. tantamountered at Leo Koenig Inc., 545 W 23rd Street. Yes, Leo Koenig Inc. will be open 24 hours a day for the entire week of November 16 through November 23rd.

Friday, November 11, 2005

by bpearis.
Bang Bang Rock and Roll
Art Brut was tearing up the Mercury Lounge last night. Lead singer Eddie Argos is cheeky and self agrandizing to the point of spoof and then ultimately self depricating and funny as hell, he had the audience cracking up, 'Ready Art Brute?' he asks before each song. But most of all, the music is rocking. It's punk anthems with great lyrics "I want to be the boy the man who wrotes the song that makes Isreal and Palistine get along", and "popular culture no longer applies to me" yes, Exactly! It was a killer show dispite a small and drunk bearded troglidite who was attempting to mosh by pushing everyone in the front around a lot. At one point Eddie was draged into the audience and yours truely was shouting into the mike with him MODERN ART MAKES ME WANT TO ROCK OUUUUUUUUUUUUUT! FUN.

by bpearis.
How cute is the base player for Art Brut, I dig that shes playing the gig in a formal black floor length gown.


Wednesday, November 09, 2005

A 300lb. TOOL OF GOD

Once in a while there comes a TeeVee show that defines a generation, (The X Files, Dallas, Welcome Back Kotter) Trading Spouses is the mothership of reality TV, the form at it's pinnacle. In tonights episode we witnessed the wave cresting, it won't get any better than this.

From Ponchatoula Louisiana, a grossly obese fanatical Christian with no front tooth, swapping places with the wife of a new agey New England family for one week suprisingly does not equal comedy!

By the end of the show Marguerite has lost her grip on reality and throws a super size tantrum, screeching that she is "gods warrior" while her family looks on in horror. She shrieks that the other woman was not Christian and had brought the darkside into their home. Finally she tears up the "tainted" 50,000 dollar check that comes with the swap and tries to kick the camera crew out of her home because they too are "darksided".

Two important points need to be made.
a)This episode of Trading Spouses explains EVEYTHING to me, from the war in Iraq to why some people want to teach mythology as science. As the astute Mrs. Cub so keenly put it, "She's a loudmouth ignafuckenramus" and this country is busting at the seams of our XXXL sized strech pants with "God's tools" like these. She is a manifestation of George Bush's ID. I think theres a very small angry fat woman inside his brain that counsels him at night. Really, she's the brain behind EVERYTHING!

b) Marguerite Perrin is from the same home town as our own Keith boadwee! Which brings me straight to the heart of the matter, how closely is Boadwee connected to this woman? He'll deny a blood relationship but Keith you have nothing to be ashamed of...

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

A Blog Called Nowhere News Flash! The Alpine hamlet of Viganella is going berzerk! Built at the bottom of a steep-sided valley, the village get very little light. "I'm depressed all the time" "My skin is falling off", and "everyday I wake up crying" are sentiments heard repeatedly around the darkened piazzas. The sensable thing to do would be to mount a giant mirror on the mountainside to reflect sunlight into the main piazza...

Monday, November 07, 2005

Rachel Lachowitz's opening in San Francisco last Thursday night was a kick. We had a sad reason to have to go out there but were psyched to see Rachael's new work. Friday we had lunch with Keith Boadwee and his LA dealer Kim Light and Rachel. We hear Kim Light is rocking LA with her new gallery LIGHTBOX. Kim Dingle is working on a painting show for the new space, very cool. It's been over 5 years since Dingle has painted, I dug the stuff she showed at Jack Tilton in the mid 90's and am curious to see how she reaproaches painting. Lachowitz is based in LA and has been a staple of the art world there for over 10 years. She's a seriously smart sculptor/painter who is best known for her elegant and hilarious send ups of art by famous male artists. Pictured here is a piece made of eye shadow, but one of my all time favs of hers is her torched Breuer chair. The craftsmanship on this piece and all her work is beautiful. She is a fierce critical voice in an (art) world that needs more of just that.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Sunday night. Listen to the first song "Kevin is Gay" on the new Giant Drag album, it'll help. Were not so much having the rest of the album, but this song nails it, whatever it is.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

To lie in a bed of meat, To feel the meatieness against my skin, The fragrance How it comforts me, Though feeling so bovine, Once again. There was a time When skies weren't cloudy, And it seldom ever rained, But as the clouds begin to rumble, Once again there's so much pain. So I'll lie in my bed of meat, And wait till the storm subsides, And use the fat from my prime cut bed, To wipe away the tears I've cried.

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