A Blog Called Nowhere

Ready.....Sit Back and RELAX. Breath in.
count one, two, three, four, five.
Exhale slowly.
Now, go to this site deedicated to the swedish electropop-sensation Bodies Without Organs and watch the video called 16 Tons of Hardware. It has something to do with hairstylists and drag racing.

http://www.actidis.net/subdom/bwo/vwo.htm

You will submit to us now!!!
Email us at ridykeulous@hotmail.com

Cute yet pathetic and debased animals.

We had a little birthday party for me last night at Ma and Pa Corncub's house. This pig was gifted to me by my sister in law, Melinda. In my collection of animals with their asses in the air, this will certainly stand out as an object of note.
But more importantly, I discovered you can download (for free) a version of Fuck Forever, said to be a Babyshambles classic. Babyshambles is now in the studio after Pete Doherty's stint in prison and then rehab from his heroin/crack addiction. This version was recorded on a live radio show, it's not tight but you'll get a preview of what is certain to be (when this album finally gets released) the next giant British rock anthem for disaffected youth
Go to http://www.babyshambles.net/ and follow the links to Babyshambles/Libertines Downloads.

People need hard times and oppression to develop psychic muscles. So sez Emily Dickinson. This hard time rabbit might be cheared by Spike Jones's demented song "Ya Wanna Buy a Bunny" available on Itunes. Or maybe a viewing of The Brown Bunny, though actually that might be more depressing then a sad bunny can handle. Better off watching Chloe Sevigny do her thing in Woody Allen's Melinda and Melinda. We all got a kick out of Woody Allens vision of how 30 somethings live in NYC (welcome to bizzarro land) reality is not an issue but thats fine by me, New York always looks great in Woody Allen movies.

Last night the Chiefs tore up the Bowery ballroom. Lead singer Ricky's leg was in a cast but still he was all over the place like a Jumping Jack on emphetimines. I had fun dispite the middle age wankers on mega doses of ecstacy dry humping eachother and constantly falling into me. Whatev. The vibe was great, the show was a massive sing along. They played everything from the new CD Employment -a MUST HAVE- and a b-side from one of their singles.

My set list from Glass looked something like this: Andrew Wk. Make Sex Selfish cunt Authority Confrontation Boogie Pimps Somebody to love The Soft pink Truth Homosexual Grafiti What is the problem M.I.A. Galang Art Brut Bad Weekend The Normal TVOD Audio Bullys We don’t Care The Monochrome Set Monochrome Set The Buzzcocks Ever Fallen in Love Soho Dolls Prince Harry Chaz n Dave The Sideboard Song Gang of Four Damaged goods The Sparks This town Aint big Enough For the Both of Us Kaiser Chiefs Na Na Na Na Na White Sport Friendly Nice/Scag Lover And some other stuff… I got some great new music via the Royal Mail yesterday. First and most importantly, The Nine Black Alps single Shot Down is fun punky-pop …its melodic but with guitar driven ferocity. Also got my new Towers of London single. The Towers have an old school punk feel noisy and driving and really fun. Apparently their shows are completely mental. They enjoy bating their audience and starting fights at their shows by throwing amplifiers and mike stands into the crowd. There are some free downloads from their website http://www.thetowersoflondon.com/ Bought a Soft Cell best of CD. Haven’t listened to it yet but expecting the unexpected since I never paid that much attention the first time around. Tocotronic is amazing. He is the German Morrissey but not depressing, Morrissey on Prozac. Love it. The New Basement Jaxx single Oh My Gosh is pretty much a waist of money. It’s funky dancey stuff and doesn’t do anything for me. The Chalets four track single is pretty good. The best song Love Punch with lyrics “ I know you love me but your fucken crazy” is downloadable for free from www.artrocker.com. If I ever figure out how to post links Artrocker will be one of them. Keith boadawee turned me on to Gonzales. I saw him play with peaches a few years ago but didn’t give him the time of day - he was just filler before Peaches went on. Hes a musical genius. The album called Z is electro and little hip hop and a MUST HAVE CD. Piano Solos is beautiful, hes classically trained pianist –his range is amazing. That’s it for now. I gotta go do my bloody taxes. My accountant Howie Seligman is the champion of the write off but still I am expecting to get served. Kaiser Chiefs play tonight at Bowery Ballroom, thatll set the mood right again! I’ll post pics tomorrow of Ricky and Peanut and the gang.

NOW WHAT? This is my student Jennifer Wongs painting. Shes in her first year at Bard -yet look at what she has made. Holy Guacomole. I brought my disco ball to class and constructed a compelling still life out of the disco ball and a skull

Methinks her hair is reflecting the light of the disco ball. Also her eye is sewn shut. Woah.

Aka Jeff Gauntt spinning ebm and electro. Is he not the cutest thing you have ever seen what with his eastern european military look... Last night was the Spinart event at Glass where a bunch of artists take turns DJing. The snow kept the crowds thinner than they aughtoave been but still it was good and the music was Shit Hot. I had one moment every DJ dreads when the crowd turned against me. I put on a Chas n Dave beer drinking song resulting in a parade of dipsticks marching up to the DJ booth requesting that I kill it. HAHAHA shit well thats what happens...I rolled the dice with that one. Chas n Dave are definitely not welcome at Glass. I decided last night my dream venue would be a small bar full of drunk hooligans who might break out into sing alongs and maybe a few kids who would get up and dance every now and then.
David Humphrey was absfrickenlutely brilliant. It was his first time playing in front of a crowd and I believe he is hooked.
There is a lot on the agenda for the next few days so keep checking in.
later Kids

Here are some art reviews. Images are posted below. I had a wonder filled art crawl through Chelsea with Medrie MacPhee today. We saw the good bad and ugly. Hilariously ugly was the painting of a skunk with a hard-on (See Ill.1) painted by a Bard student of Medries. Bravo. We picked up on a bird theme today first with Jason Middlebrooks irritating show at Sara Melzer Gallery. The press release says the pictures of North American birds imply mans destruction of the forest and his subsequent use of its materials to cover up nature. Does that include the paper Jason draws on? What a snooze. Sandra Scolniks bizzaro paintings at CRG use birds to great affect. Namely biting the nipples of women and kooky stuff like that. (Ill.2 3 4) Sandra is completely off her trolly. Her paintings are beautiful and keep getting stranger and stranger. Next we saw Damian Hurst. I liked the painting of the guy whith the bloody face, it reminded me of this great album cover of Andrew WK (Ill. 5). I couldnt really care less about the paintings. I dont think he brings anything new to the table conceptually and the subject matter is morbid and dull. His paintings remind me of Jeff Koons. Jeff is Sex and Money Damian is Death but its all the same shit really. Next we met Jules de Ballincourt at LFL and admired his show. He told us he made all the works in 3 months. Bloody hell thats a lot of amphetamines or sompthing! Next we ambled over to Luhring Augustine where we spent a lot of time bathing in the warm glow of Martin Kippenburgers genius. I was moved to tears looking at his work -no its not rag week- we were both moved by the show. He was a brilliant symbolist and visual poet. The struggle he had with alcohol is described in a lot of the work (Ill 6) In this painting he holds up a life preserver in one hand and a noose in the other. Life and death is a balancing act by a drunken frog on a crucifix with an egg in one hand and a stein of beer in the other. I really mourn the loss of this great artist. He was loose and associative in his thinking confident with oil paint and self deprecating in a hilarious and tragic way. Also the portraits of him wearing the giant Picasso underwear reminded us of another favorite artist Mike Smith. We ran into Leo Koenig on our lunch break (Ill.7) He invited us to see the new space hes fixing up on 23rd st. It looks like its going be great. Last we saw David Shrigley and Ellen Birkenblit at Anton Kern. David is too funny and we were laughing all the way through his show. Also digging Ellens cheerful and strong paintings but could do without the installation aspect which diffuses the impact of the works on canvas. Phew. I got to go get in front of the Tee Vee for a while.

Look! Its the Kaiser Chiefs first NME cover. I just bought a jacket like the one lead singer Ricky Wilson is wearing with the red and white stripes. 99X on 11th street... if you were wondering. No doubt we will soon be seeing racks and racks of these jackets in Banana Republics and Jcrews across ther city. I know, I'm a nerdball.
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Stella Vine who painted this portrait of my hero Pete? Please scroll down to bottom of this bloglet to see my version of Pete Babyshambles Doherty. OOOooh it makes me feel all fistycuffy. Im very protective of him and on top of it shes showing this painting at my ex-dealers gallery in LA. ggggrrr

Teaching is really getting in the way of me enjoying a proper nightlife. I missed Goldie Looking Chain playing the Murcury Lounge on Monday because of my class schedual. BUMMER. these guys are a hilarious BritHop act. Downloads and stuff at their website
http://www.youknowsit.co.uk/
Yet another instance of a Brit act that sells out massive shows over there playing a hole in the wall in NYC! Anyhow GLC is alot of fun, if you find their CD Greatest Hits snag it.

On the adgenda for this week Im looking to catch the three Kippenburger shows and work on my shit. Ill post some new images from the studio tomorrow. By the way did you love that Inka Essenhigh painting at the art fair? I like her new use of real space at least its new to me.
One last Music Note.
Other Music is now selling
Kill the DJ part 2 mixed by Optimo.
AMazing mix 2 cd set!!! It was on my best of 2004 list and Im still wearing it out in my studio. Also have I insisted that you run out to buy IAN BROWNs SOLARIZED CD? it has recently been released here and it is brilliant, moving big music.
Time for another PG Tips
later kids.
PS can anyone tell me why I can't use commas in my blog? they come out as a series of wacky symbols

Sweet Pete

I was going to do a photo documentary of my top ten list from the Armory show but when I got there and it was overwhelmingly crowded so I was fighting for my life just to breath and scrapped that idea. I saw some paintings I liked (Jonathan Meese at Berlin Art Projects I liked everything in that booth) and ate some cookies shaped like brass knuckles from the Dietch cookie booth which reminded of a student at Bard who for Amy Sillman’s Junior Year Crafts Fair, made Brownies with icing on top that said things like I Hate Myself and I’m a Fat Fuck which I think takes the cake. Art you can eat is a great strategy for an art fair. We also popped by the Horts brunch Sunday AM to see Ma and Pa Hort and the kids and grand kids and scope out the newest incarnation of their collection. They had one painting that blew my socks off. I cant remember the painters name but It was a gobsmacking good painting. Ill find out the painters name from Vic who remembers everything and post it later. It was an image of a girl in a car wreck needlepointing a scar on a white hankie. It was Awesomely painted and huge. Have to go to bard to teach today and take my poor cat Cy to the Vet up in Rheinbeck so will post art reviews later in the week. Did anyone go to the Greater New York show on Sunday at PS1? I Got a CD by Georgie Fame this weekend. Find the song Yea Yea by Georgie on itunes, it’s a great old song. ave a good one.

Counters

1st place drawing in the Dutchess County Fair art contest last summer. The swollen toes are a comment on the bruutal physical demands of a dancers life.


CD of the Year
So far its the Kaiser Chiefs -Employment.
I got my Special edition import of it yesterday, it is amazing! Comes in a faux leather box with posters and games inside and bonus CD. No doubt they will be the Franz Ferdinand of 2005 and this cd will make a lot of best of lists.
Their web site is WWW.KAISERCHIEFS.CO.UK Check it out, they are a killer pop band.

The Whitney Museum is tearing down the mural I painted there in 1995 for that years Biennial. The good news is they asked me to propose a new project. I met with them on Wednesday and they liked my idea. Basically it is to take a year and a half off from life and work on one giant massive mural. It would be oil on canvas maybe 20 x40 or something like that. I have ideas about the subject matter but I need to get going to my studio this morning for visitors so wont get into it now. I am looking forward to changing the pace at which I work on a painting, devoting a major chunk of time to one piece.

I donâ??t know why this bog is giving me grief for usinâ?? commas but commas come out as a strange configuration of Greek letters, or maybe those are pharmaceutical symbols or sompnâ?? theyâ??re annoying. Anyone know what Iâ??m doing wrong?

See you tonight at Loreley.

Hi Kids, Whats happening? Some Rock Shows this week, Death From Above 1979 at the Bowery Ballroom tomorrow night, Ill be there. Missed Louis lV last night at Sin-e because of being stuck in a massive snowstorm upstate. Saturday Ive got Studio visitationals from my German dealer, a gallery I worked with in Tel Aviv, and an Austrian curator…busy weekend and as you can see from some of my posted images of works in progress Im barely ready for them to come. My pal Medrie McPhee came to look at the paintings and gave really good helpful crit. Im feeling like I dont want to deal with the Armory this year but the ol lady wants to go so will proly stop in Saturday. Dont forget to pop by the Loreley (7 Rivington St.) round 10:00ish Friday, it will be a far out party and Ill be laying down so music to snarf sausages and guzzle the pilsner to

â??allo everybody, I'm back from the dead. My dealer Leo Koenig killed me Friday night with a zillion beers topped off by a lethal injection of Jaggermeister. We drank with his new discovery, a shit hot painter named Kelli Williams. Her work is amazing.
She makes small paintings that might have been painted by Brueghel. They are nasty as hell, totally over the top, lusciously painted canvases.
Also shes been a bank teller for the last 8 years, (very Kafkaesque) now she has quit her job to finish a body of work shes been toiling on for the past 6 years! She will have a piece at the art fair next week so look out for it at Leos booth />On the Music front, been digging on Patrick Wolfs new single The Libertine. Ive got the CD coming in the mail from HMVuk (cheapest imports Ive found)
Also TOTALLY digging Manic Street Preacher's song Design for Life. Its on their new CD Called Everything Must Go. The album is just ok so if you can find the single of Design for Life (or maybe get it off the itunes store) its all you need to know from that CD.

I posted some more works in progres from my studio and one of my nephew's brilliant creations. It's a ketchup/Mustard war. I'm going up state until Wednesday but will post more then, meanwhile I'm DJing this friday at Loreley which is between Bowery and Christy st. I'll probabley start around 10:00-10:30. it's going to be a big art fair related party Leo Koenig is throwing for the euros who are in town.

Hey kids, First of all, now it super easy to post comments, now you don't have to sign in, it's open for anyone... (hint hint) I was out in San fran last couple of days. It was suposed to rain the whole time I was there but the sun turned out and we had 60 degree weather two days in a row. I gave a talk at SFAI and hung with my homie keith B who is an absolutely topp hole host, whatever the hell that means. His guest bedroom decor is a psycho Brady girls/ Mark Hampton mash up. Totally amazing. We shopped for music like rabid music junkies, I came home with a trolly load of new stuff, I'll tell you about it as soon as I listen to it. The lecture was nerve wracking because some of Victorias family was there, they've never seen my work before. I was showing stuff with with titles, fancy, "Picnic in Cunt Hell of the Searing Heat" and "Jesus Fucking Christ". shit. Woah...... Here's something exciting: SPINART ANOTHER GENRE BUSTING ECLECTIC NIGHT OF MUSIC SELECTED BY NEW YORK VISUAL ARTISTS DAVID HUMPHERY SPINNING GROOVE ECLECTICA JEFF GAUNTT SPINNING EBM SYNTH ELECTRO NICOLE EISENMAN SPINNING ELECTRO-PUNK BRIT POP ADAM HURWITZ SPINNING DUBBY MINIMAL JUNGLE TECHNO WEDNESDAY MARCH 23, 2005 GLASS 287 10th ave at 26th st 9:00- 2:00 I think I'll go on around 11:00. Promis you'll have a spiffing time at this event. It's going to be off the hook, seriously. Way off. Plus I need moral support. Meanwhile I came across a good site to download MP3s, they give descriptions of everything making it easier to sort through and they got a http://www.insound.com/ Alright, I'll be back tomorra with some new news and pics of recent drawings from my studio. Tek it sleezy.