A Blog Called Nowhere

Brian Jungen

Incase you were wondering...
Baer Faxt Readers Poll Results

Favorite Museum Show: Richard Tuttle (SF Moma/Whitney) Honorable Mentions Jeff Wall (Tate/Schaulager) and Jean Michel Basquait (Brooklyn/MOCA, Houston MFA) Least Favorite Museum Show: Elizabeth Murray (MoMA). Dishonorable Mentions "Russia"(Guggenheim) and "Greater NY" (PS 1)

Favorite Gallery Show: Mike Kelly (Gagosian/NYC) Honorable Mentions Giacometti (Pace) and Candace Breitz (Sonnabend) Least Favorite Gallery Show: Damien Hirst (Gagosian/NYC) Dishonorable Mention Keith Tyson (Pace)

Favorite Emerging Artist: Brian Jungen Honorable Mention Elliott Hundley

Favorite Established Artist: Paul McCarthy Honorable Mention Gerhard Richter

Favorite Arts Magazine: ArtForum

Favorite Arts Critic: Jerry Saltz

Favorite Auction House: Christie's 54%; Sotheby's 23%; Phillips 23%

Ms. Cub and I got back from San Francisco last night and are leaving for Florida at 6:ooam. The holiday's require alot of work socializing with family, my life is a vacation in compairison and I can't wait to get back to it, back to the studio. We've decided all holidays will, from here on out, be spent at home (now clodishly dubbed The Mounds).
From the bottom of my leaden heart, Happy New Year. xoxo

Happy Holidays, or not. I feel like this inside and if you go even deeper I feel like this. Mrs.Cub and I are away thru New Years , can't wait to get back home and dive into the paint again. I'll post again before new years so check back and theres always surprise visits from Ms. Andry to remind your your only half the person you could be. Below is my Top 10 Music Selections for 2005, check em out, and also check out BoadaweeBlog's music round up too, it's really good. ox

A BLOG CALLED NOWHERE'S TOP 10 ALBUMS OF 2005
This a a tough one, it was a great year for music, tons of great stuff to choose from. I made my choices based on how much I listen to the albums and love them. I thought Kaiser Chiefs would come in higher but my love for Employment burned hot and fast and I find I haven't listened to the album since it came out. Art Brut was another band I thought would come in higher, they have a lot of amazing songs (every song on this album is great) but I can't listen to over and over and over. Perhaps my ears are mellowing in my old age, I keep going back to Tom Vek, Magic Numbers also Soft hearted Scientists keep on giving. The Franz album is genius, I like it better then their first release, Kraftwerk is brilliant and this live album adds a totally different dimention to their sound. Babyshambles wins hands down. Down in Albion is a rambling album with digressions into raggae and what I first thought were other mis-steps but over time it's grown on me and I'm feeling the love for every bit of this album. Some bands that put out good albums in '05 but didn't make the top 10 cut:

LCD Soundsystem
Goldfrapp
Hard-Fi
Clor
The Doves
Gorillaz
Let me know what you listened to this year that was outstanding. At the end of my Top 10 albums list I posted my top singles and some compilations I like. Cheers!

Babyshambles

Franz Ferdinand

Tom Vek

Art Brut

Maximo Park

Kraftwerk

Soft Hearted Scientists

Magic Numbers

Brakes

Singles 2005

M.I.A. -Galang
The Duels -Potential Futures
Readers Wife -Scum Pop
Kelli Osbourn -One world
Kalev -Undoing
The Chalets -Nightrocker
Be Your Own Pet -Damm Damm Leash
Sugababes -Push the Button
We Rock like girls Don’t -I just wanna Stick my Head in the base drum
Wolfman -Ice Cream Guerilla
The Blood Arm -Say Yes (Do I have Your attention)
The Long Blondes -Appropriation
The Harrisons -Wishing Well (Out Tonight)

(sorry, I couldn't narrow it down to just 10)

Compilations:
Bubbel Pop 20 British Oddities The Trip Created by Saint Etienne So young but so Cold French New Wave from the 70's

After being ushered gently into a shame spiral by Corny at her & Ms. Cub's lovely Mound in Brooklyn today, I feel the need to update the millions of readers here at this blog on mixed messages & the potential of triumph. Depressed most of the day Friday and seemingly validated by the universe for such feelings (see illustration), I proceeded to soothe myself medicinally for a number of hours. Had some fun & entertainment courtesy of Dean & Pony (see illustration). Eventually on subway @ 2AM because so goddam brokeazoke, unactractively loserish, sad and still drunk. Lo & behold a message waiting under my armpit on the subway bench, evidenced by the painting you see here! The most succinct & righteous image one could have received. Praise goddess! Painting contains email address, so I send a word of question and thanks to the magik maker of this most brilliant scoregeous picture. Lo and behold I was emailed by the magikmaker mouthofleaves that I was the lucky individual who by the power of chance discovered 1 of 2 paintings left randomly in Brooklyn. Yes to art therapy, the power of giving and psychic insight! You, mouthofleaves, are a savior. Free thinking is for free!TM

Corny is back but sorry, here I am agin. Paging Corny! Hey these 2 grrls @ Pimples last nite were awesome! No actually they weren't there, but lots of similar excitement abounded after JD's opening sale @ Deitch. Lezzies on X and Hardy-laced chorus riled everyone up, got everyone over-excited oh yes. Ms. Hardy , here in a previous incarnation of what was worn last evening, made it thru the evening despite being sober and achy. Theys Pimps only getting better, better n butter. If only my trigger finger had been working last nite, this coulda been such a good last night's queer party posting. Oh well, falied again! Oh and why can't anyone safely blow shit up on stage or in galleries anymore? (Wendy O. Willliams with the Plasmatics above) I am putting an open call out for anyone who can help me get Larry Gagosian to let me blow up a Hummer in one of his small tiny galleries. I would prefer if it was his Hummer, but have to look into that. Could be Yvonne Force's Escalade SUV if she will donate it. Open call! One of my eco-friendly compatriots suggests it is too polluting to do this but remember-the word is environ MENTAL. Be extreme for just 1 second today. Thanks for your time.

I´m still in mexico but thought i´d check iñ... Mexico Çity is loco, way the hell too much polution and traffic, i could start a dirt farm with what i blow out of my ñose every night... not cute. But other things are ok, good hotel, good food, good art, kooky functionalist buildings everywhere, and hilarious billboards I cant get into right now... I painted a mural in a record 4 days, today and tomorrow I will hang my drawings alongside of Orozco´s drawings from the museum collection. I like his drawings of prostitutes and drunken parties, he was a great drawer and makes me look good. Ms. Andry, if you´re out there please come back.... we need you! meanwhile heres some questioñs from the Baer Faxt. post answers in the comment section if you feel inspired... Favorite Museum Show: Least Favorite Museum Show: Favorite Gallery Show: Least Favorite Gallery Show: Favorite New/Emerging Artist: Favorite Establishes Artist: Favorite Arts Magazine: Favorite Arts Critic: Favorite Auction House: (return by e-mail to baerfaxt@aol.com by December 22)

Well it's real hard to keep this up-no pun intended. I was trying not to pollute the information highway but Corny gave me a good railing today and boy does my ass hurt now. I think is better to be mist. Abcess makes the heart grow fonder. Only wisdom I can construe to pass along today is make sure to bathe properly (as noted to Layla's right). And go see Tamy Ben-Tor perform live any Friday or Saturday at 4pm until Jan 14 to keep your head wobbly.

Well after 3 varied autoerotic experiments today, I've decided that either (a) I have to much time on my hands (b) I have something else on my hands or (c) Saturdays are great even for the underemployed! There is not much to report because I have not left the tenement all that much, saving every ounce of energy in the good cause of those dedicated to that crazy paradox called dance at the Triskelion auction, then to a late night catwalk in Queens. Prompt reports to follow on tomorrow's blahgcast if I can keep this up. As my career advisor on the Reeperbahn told me, keep milking the chocolate glug!

While fundamentalists and libertarians worldwide decide what the best way to destroy the world is, the unemployment rate in my home up 50%! Who can I vote for to fix this? How bout the Work Less Party, the inspiration for today's general atmosphere. So what they're Canadian?...we all live so close to one another. Time for more sharing. Deep in land of regret for missing the slow dancing at Edwin Ramoran/Dean Daderko's last Hotel Chelsea piece-an art eviction took place soon after-but keep it up Dean, we will follow! Keep up with the schedule everydody (click on Hotel Chelsea). And don't forget to congratulate all the DJ's, coke dealers* and gallerists who are in the Whitney Biennial next year when you run into them at Starfucks! As my guru wisely told me this morning while I had a nervous breakdown and delicately balanced on shards of glass, take care brush your hair! * verified by reliable sources

Ok well I'm back and angrier than ever! What's with all the comments about Fuckaccinos? If Elizabeth Murray makes anyone buy a Starfucks, let alone discuss it ad nauseum on this blog, then she is the worst artist in the world. Maybe she's secretly on the CIA payroll like Jackson Pollack & Gloria Steinem. Did you all know that some forms of torture are legal at Starsucks if they suspect you buy coffee, muffins or music elsewhere? In honor of bad choices and irresistible consumerism, go into a Starsux and ask them if they have the Yeastie Girlz in their collection...that is, if you can find one anywhere near you! Oh so glad to be back!

I cannot deal AT ALL with Elizabeth Murry! I fluctuate between Couldn't Care less and Stab Me In The Eyes So I Don't Have to Look at This Shit. Still a few people I know like her work. Amy Sillman, my paint guru was trying to convince me Murry is an important painter who displays moments of brilliance. Here is Amy's reconstruction of a Murry using a bowl with a few M andM's and two pieces of miniature pumpernickel bread slices. I think Amy should be the one getting a solo show at MOMA.

I'm off to the Museo de Arte Carrillo Gil in Mexico City to paint a mural, hang a show... I'll miss life in my cub cave but I supose it's healthy to get out now and then. Check back here this week, Ms. Andry may be posting, and you know how she is, a cyclone wraped in a whirlwind...

That Michael S. Riedel show at David Zwirner was so sad and strange, my brain was tickeled but the painter in me was like "Please, give me a fucken break alreaty!" Before I left, I bought the Neo Rausch catalogue. Went through it, read the essay and am 10 times the fan I was yesterday, which was alreaty a humongous fan... Big love for Neo.

I'll be taking the company car to upstate corperate headquarters in the morning where I'll be administering credit scoring
sessions for the clients all day.
Peace

We had a small clot of friends over last night, resulting in the decision to turn our home into an assisted living facility. Because we need to. The focus of my evening was keeping English Muffin Pizzas and wine flowing and also comming up with a name for the house. Here are some of the possibilities generated by Nurse Vendetta "Asparagus" K. Starr (or THIS!) , Bad News Bequi and Dave Hickey

Plumbbottom
The VanDerDyke
Puffy Haus
Snackistan
QueensToung Arms (or Mews, or Pine, or Downs)
Tents Arse
Ziggurat Hills
The Mounds
Charlot Place
Willows Woman on the Mews
Wymonon
Power Downs
Shtetlbrook
shtetlbreuk farm
Shtetl Winds (or Mound)
Tuna of the Forest
The master wordsmith, Tim Davis came up with this unbeelievable list on his own:
"Don't Mention It"
The Lollycolumns
Carmelized Nonions
Croquette
Pond's®
Teeny Tiny Acres
Old Smoky's Top
Barely Illegal
Le Timing
Achy Mai Tai
Zoo of Close Calls
The Chin-up Bar
The Preeners
Stopover
Way!
Orangeade Maypole
Trencer Spacy
Almost
Fronds and Anemones
Communication Error
Mitrebox Heartache
I'm A Beam
The Types
Ponyshins
M'not not
Ernie's Needs
Toast Odor
Now I Am a Man
Renzo Ukulele
Velcro Acres
Hello to Turtles
Math Skills
18 Polyensaturated Place
V.C.R.
Kumsquat
Here? Now!?
Chippewawa
Kilter
Spalding
Weird Buddhist Garden
but...
Honest Shellac
I Digress
candyviolets.com
House of the Rising Tonsil
Googling Mommy
Pointed Up
A Watch Fob for Topper
Compass Rose
Tintype
The Divine Dollar Store
Reggie
People For Against
On Stun
Non Event
Miss Manor

The Utopians (formerly known as The Uterus Women) are a two-piece Brighton-based act who use their electric guitars and monosynths to create slamming punk pop. Think Kraftwerk, DaftPunk, IggyPop... This is the shit. A six track mini album I think they put it out themselves. Aces!

Justin Bond (Kiki of Kiki and Herb) is a genius so are Readers Wifes. This colaboration is twisted and delisious, thanks to GBOTBAAKATAFKAKB for turning me on to more great music. Bitch at the Brits is the must have track, you can get it from Amazon UK hear taste of it here...

Stupid, pushy and needy Christ! you people are greedy Your eyes are big, your mind is small You're the goddamn queen of nothing-at-all Get a mobile phone, a bright red car Car! Phone! Phone! Car!

Someone doesn't want me to post today.