A Blog Called Nowhere

Mrs.Cub and I are taking a weekend spiritual retreat on Mount Desert Island. It's pronounced "dessert" by the locals. Many of the Locals don't know how to read.

Please look at an aerial photo of the island. All the animals live in shaded harmony beneath salty palms.

One must pop 'round to the studio this bloody morning. One has bin neglecting one's work. One will pu ohn one's Jiggery-Pokery brest plate and leave noh.

I will no longer give rats-asses about the Leipzig School. Lady Cub and I drove up to Mass MoCA to see the Leipzig School painting show (we missed the show at Boesky last fall) and shleped around cavernous galleries asking "where the bloody hells the beef" to anyone who'd listen. Ignored by all, my sullen condemnations floated up to the rafters and lodged themselfs there where they will stay for the next 100 years. If you stand in the main gallery at Mass MoCA and are very quite, you can hear my soft yet annoied assessments. It was a modest sized show which bummed my stone, after 4 hours in the car and a accidental detour to Troy New York, I was hoping for a bit more. The Neo Rauschs were ok the rest of it, eh.
Can't remember who painted this, what looks like a computer gererated landscape, I think its Martin Kobe. I think it's called "I'm Living in Dullsville". David Schnell paints lifeless people in drab interiors, whatever. Also where were the Liepzig chicks, they couldn't throw one girl in? In another gallery, I really enjoyed Mark Dion's super cool birdhouse and the birds, they were loving it, they were all very chirpy and cute.

All the magic mushrooms in the world couldn't make this ok. Keith, I'm thinking it might not be my life goal afterall to go to Glastonbury.

You will be bombarded by pics from this weekend! This isn't the usual style for A Blog Called Nowhere but I must to share.
The wedding was beautiful, Amy and Layla's hoastessing skills are a marvelment, we formed a band, Amy let me paint on the oil tank next to their house, we dropped in on the Bard MFA kids who set up a bar called "the Riot" which was compleatly brilliant, Steiner and I felt it necessary to hang out there without our pants off...
Mrs. cub and I are partied out.

She's mixing mojitos with her feet.

... "be a person who needs people, People who need people Are the luckiest people in the worrrrllldah" tappity tap taptaptap

March towards their destiny

Lesbians on Oxycontin make Tim and Lisa crafts to stick on their car.

Victory lap around ye old frogge pond after the ceremony

"We'd all be swinging from ropes right now if it wasn't for the few brave faggots from back in the day who decided to be DEFIANTLY DIFFERENT." Boadwee's gay pride rantagainst assimilationist gays is brilliant...
Thanks man, I second that.

I'm celebrating Gay Pride weekend by attending a straight wedding upstate. But if I was going to be here, I'd go to this:
Dean Johnson's email reads:
HOMOCORPS
says "Good-Bye" to CBGB
GAY PRIDE WEEKEND SAT JUNE 25
315 Bowery 212.982.4052 admission $15
hosted by The Duelling Bankheads

A QUEER MUSIC MARATHON STARRING
The Velvet Mafia / The Gay Pimp Jonny McGovern /Cazwell
Miss Guy / DaLipstyxx / The Maul Girls Reunion / 3PUEN
Dirty Excuse / The Alter Bois / Carol Channing Rox

Right after the Dyke March ends we've got three great bands in a row starting at 9pm: the HomoCorps debut of The Alter Bois the one-year anniversary of Sarah Michael's band Dirty Excuse, and the post-punk new wave art rock stylings of the pangenderal 3PUEN. Words cannot decsribe this act: it must be experienced to be believed. Genius!

Next comes a special treat: a reunion of the popular East Village dyke band The Maul Girls. I recommend this ban very highly, they are one of my all-time favorite dance bands and they rock. Unfortunately, they don't seem to get along very well and getting them all on the same stage is like pulling teeth so don't miss your only chance to see them in concert. They're like the Fleetwood Mac of dyke rock.

Then the Duelling Bankheads will perform, followed by a naked man singing "America the Beautiful" to open the Velvet Mafia set with the song "Testosterone" from our new CD.
At midnight we start all over again with "DaLipstyxx", the most amazing "girl group" since Diana Ross kicked Flo out of The Supremes. Next is downtown's poet laureate Cazwell, laying down some mad rhymes in a venue where you can actually hear what he's saying! Miss Guy performs at the peak of the evening with her brilliant new solo act after leaving the Toilet Boys, and finally The Gay Pimp Jonny McGovern tops us off with his MTV-style pop extravaganza and back-up crew of sexy-to-die-for barely legal dancers (only 16 to enter!)
Finally, in keeping with a tradtion started at Rock n Roll Fag Bar 20 years ago, the final performance will be Miss Carroll Channing Rox performing "Bohemian Rhapsody." Look out, she loves to crowd-surf. And she wears "Depends".

This was doomed to be a high fructose corn syrup natchmare from the start. MSNBC reported "The giant ice pop was supposed to have been able to withstand the heat for some time, and organizers weren’t sure why it didn’t." A Snapple representative said they thought it might have to do with the hot weather. "It's true", reports the Blog Called Nowhere's Weather Center, "when heat is absorbed by the ice from the air, the temperature of ice increases, and then it melts!"
But can't other things melt a popsicle? What about salt? Salt particles from the enormous salted codfish being prepared upwind in Herald Square could also have melted it. "Salt molecules would make it hard for popsicles to stay in solid form" snapped the obviously drunk Snapple representitive.

The full moon is blowing lids off psychic pressure cookers that have been slow cooking souls across America for months now and bringing us all face-to-face with what we've created over the last 6 months. The despotic vice grip of the past is loosened as stuff shifts. Insightful colors are mushroom and amethyst and chamois. Also,
turns out I'm an EXSTISENTIALIST just as I've always suspected. I tookthis test and found out about 10 minutes ago.

"You scored as Existentialist. Existentialism emphasizes human capability. There is no greater power interfering with life and thus it is up to us to make things happen. Sometimes considered a negative and depressing world view, your optimism towards human accomplishment is immense. Mankind is condemned to be free and must accept the responsibility."

You: What does that mean?!?! Will you be making major life changes based on this revelation?
Me: Certainly!

Existentialism is not a school of thought nor reducible to any set of tenets, it is a WAY. The one essential feature shared by all us exstisentailists is our extravagantly eager individualism. Except for Mrs.Cub and Cy the cat, I will hereby go it alone. That means I'll be cooking at home for a while and not ordering take out every night. Also I might not return your phone calls. There may be other changes as part of this new exstistential lifestyle.

Pictured here is a creation myth of how Japan was formed by a giant incontinent rabbit.
The children of North Korea would like to a) wipe their asses with Japan and then set it on fire, b) Have a massive volcano erupt and cover Japan with burning lava, c) wack at Japan with a cleaver, d) All of the above!

A Blog Called Nowhere eagerly grazes the FMU website like the lazy pilfering cow that she is.

Heres Mike Iveson and Parker Lutz (who has received the Korny award for sexiest dancer in NYC) They're in a dance by Sarah Mitchelson at PS122 called Daylight. I don't know why it's called Daylight.
Claude Wampler painted the set. Mikey composed the music. Here's what the Times said and the Village Voice. I enjoyed it compleatly though at times I couldn't see a damm thing, or maybe just an ankle or something for minutes at a time, which I found to be pretty funny. Michelson purposely inhibits your view, putting big lighting units between the audience and the stage, using a lot of haze, then there are columns in the space and the way the stage is laid out, all contribute to a resistance to be seen. Maybe that has to do with her apparent stage fright? PS122 through June 26.

This is shaping up to be the soundtrack for Corny's Summer of Love 2005. I've been listening to it every day in the studio this last week and it's hooks have lodged deep in the medulla. It sounds a little like the Jam and XTC, maybe a little Futrueheadsie at times, but more guitars, less electroish. Beautiful lyrics, giant recomendation for this CD. Other orders from HMV UK this week:
Rakes -Retreat
Nine Black Alps -Everything Is
Departure -Dirty Words
Ordinary Boys -Boys Will Be Boys
Special Needs -Blue Skies
Longcut -Quiet Life

This database lets you search Van Gogh's letters by key words such as Insanity, Venereal, Exhaustion, Ear, or Hallucinations.

"...the unbearable hallucinations have ceased and are now getting reduced to a simple nightmare, in consequence of my taking bromide of potassium, I think."

If Vincent hadn't taken the Alka Seltzer he may of painted more trippy weirness like this skeleton causally smoking his perscription.

These paintings are wetter and juicer then one's I've seen in previous shows... The figures aren't as stiff as I remember them and his palet even seems more complex. I've come 'round to liking Neo Rauch in a big way. So much has been written about this show, here are a few interesting bits I've come across;

"Rauch's fascination with the figure and work-related props allow for a formal exploration, based in part on the properties of paint itself. A glob of paint draped over an arm, for example, or a rake dragged though a patch of grass, leave behind marks and swirls that blur the line between rendered object and reference to the simplicity and necessity of the artist's materials. It is as if the figures enable, or are perhaps in a state of reacting to, their own painted environments."
-Press Release from
Zwirner
"Although he claims "never" to use photographs or "any" pre-existing source, so much of what he paints seems like it comes from somewhere that these claims feel fishy."
-Jerry Saltz
"When Neo Rauch's parents were killed in a train crash, Rauch was six months old, and his father had just entered art school. Rauch has no idea why they chose his unusual name, but the suspicion that some sort of wry art inflection was intended..."
-Alexi Worth
"Jamaica Kincaid once said of her native Antigua that it is a place where the past feels like the present and the present often feels like the past. You get the same sense looking at the work of Neo Rauch"
-Martha Schwendener
"Rauch's disjunctive narratives suggest a world whose comforting order has been shaken apart by unseen and unfathomable forces and subjected to a new logic whose outlines remain obscure. In this, they offer an apt response to the post-Cold War world."
-Eleanor Heartney

Danny, you're really on to something with this sculpture Angle in the City as a possible logo. I never thought I'd have to post a picture like this one to the right, but I'd like to bottom line it here with this mascot proposal. He's detached.

Sloth, the more I look at this logo you submitted the more positive I am that the Guggenheim should have this as their advertising character. Yes, The hat and the beer foam can be modified to look like Bilbao and the 5th Ave building respectively... but perfect are the tears representing the animal soul in all of us, moved by the true work of art which is but a shadow of the divineblablabla, also the struggle of working artists like myself who end most days crying into a beer.

Good morning! Puffy chunks of Subcortical gray matter lift thoughts of new luggage and snacks out of my skull cavity.

Would Jonh Simon have ever thought that his name would someday be on an international chain of museums? Guggenheim/Hermitage Museum inside LasVegas's Venetian Resort-Hotel-Casino, New York, Bilbao, Venice, and Berlin, plus the Gugg has alliances with the State Hermitage Museum in St. Petersburg and the Center for Art and Media Technology in Karlsruhe, Germany. lets see, then there's this and this.
I think if they're going to make a chain of museums they oughtta have an advertising icon/mascot, like how HamburgerHelper has that weird 4 fingered hand, or Planters has the classy peanut with the monocle. I'm picturing a friendly cartoon version of the guy pictured above, but the turban on his head would be more Guggenheimy. Are you inspired to submit a proposal for the new Guggenheim mascot? I'll post em and forward them to the Guggs PR department. My email is under my complete profile...

Stanya Kahn and Harry Dodge are brilliant performance artists/film makers and now Moms to 6 month old Lenny. Here is Stanya's account of their backpacking trip to Los Padres National Forest with Lenny. Check out the pics from this trip, especially cool is the homemade baby sleeping bag made from a down vest.

"we weren't out for super long, two days. it was our first excursion with the boy to see how it would go. and we were trying out harry's lightweight family backpacking experimental gear. she customized a bunch of stuff so that i could carry the boy and some gear and she could carry everything else. it was awesome. so exciting and fun. the night time was not so fun, cuz he'a wakey little guy as it is,so trying to roll over and breast feed him back to sleep all night inslippery sleeping bags in a smallish tent with another person and two dogs was, well, ridykulous. but at least being sleepless the next day isn't so bad next to a beautiful creek with an ultra lightweight hammock to chilax in."

wow, like superheros, right?

The StuffOnMyCat website has exceeded it's bandwidth limit so untill they're back, heres a picture on our cat Cy with stuff on him. I was pleasantly surprised he tolerated this humiliation. A bag of Goya beans was his breaking point.

My "Art Blog" has come to this. But tell me you don't prefer a site about stacking stuff on cats to much of what you'd see in Chelsea? I SWEAR I'm going to write about actual art any minute now.
Thanks Bonassas!

and flew off his bike after a car door opened in front of him as he was speeding down to the Lorelei beer garten last night. he arrived banged up (his bruise looks like a mushy version of his paintings) and we toasted him with every new round of beer. Biking is decidedly less dangerous then skidiving, (according to Failure Analysis Associates) but who knew that biking is safer then plain old "living"?
I'm glad you're ok Torben. The Military is developing Liquid Armor) but it'll be a while 'till you find it in your local bike shop, in the meantime, please buy a helmet, even at the height of Pete Dohertys crack addiction, he always sported head gear if planning on a bike ride. Or maybe look into one of these.

Need to cool your jets? Here's what you do:
Cover the windows with tinfoil
Take off your clothes
Have a drink
Listen to Konichiwa Bitches by Robyn.
This is what I know: Robyn's been on the scene (in Sweeden) for 8 years. Judging by her picture, that would have made her 2 or 3yrs old when she put out her first album. Woah! You may remember her big UK - US hit in 1998, "Show Me Love"... I don't, but no matter, this song is diamond!

Bought some CDs yesterday
Gina-X: Nice Mover. 1979 German electro-disco Grace Joans. Boadwee describes her as a "crazy lesbian clown", She does refer to herself as "Gino" in a few of the songs but with androginous Savoir-faire more in league with Marlene Dietrich then say Margaret from Liguid Sky (despite what the picture on left looks like). She appears on Nag Nag Nag the awsome 2003 electro synthpop compilation lots of other compilations... Look for songs Nice Mover and No G.D.M.
Teenage Fanclub: Man Made. It's their newest. Boadwee swears by them, I'm still trying to get it. I like them, don't love them but open to hearing more of them.
Kraftwerk:Minimum-Maximum.
"The Beatles and Kraftwerk’ may not have the ring of ‘The Beatles and the Stones’, but, nonetheless, these are the two most important bands in music history. Without Kraftwerk’s pioneering ‘robot pop’ there would have been no New Order, acid house, Prodigy, electroclash, grime or Daft Punk. Without The Rolling Stones there would have been no Black Crowes or Kasabian. And fewer posh, drug-addled poseurs in rock. Case closed."
-NME
This is a double live CD. A compilations of all their best material. It was playing it in OtherMusic just now and it sounded great, unlike your typical sloppy-ass, echoy live recordings, this sounds tight. This is a really nice CD.
Maximo Park: A certain Trigger. haven't listened to it yet, I'll get back on it tomorrow.

Tuesday June 7th, 11pm - 4am
Pieter and friends spin Vicious Pink, Pink Industry, Pink Turns Blue (translation: coldwave, postpunk and early goth/minimal
synth obscurities)
WIERD @ Southside Lounge
41 Broadway (Wythe/Kent), Wmsbrg,

Most definitely going to this:
Wednesday June 8th, 7pm,
Laughing Matters
An evening with presentations by philosopher Simon Critchley, artist Luke Murphy, and a screening of Samuel Beckett's Film.
The Kitchen, 512 West 19th Street,
$5 Advanced ticket purchase strongly recommended (212 255 5793 ext 11)

"...Ever since Aristotle's lost book on comedy, laughter has been a conundrum in Western thought that has puzzled not only philosophers but also scientists, sociologists, and comedians. Laughing Matters draws on a number of sources to explore why people laugh. Beginning with a presentation by artist Luke Murphy utilizing simple Powerpoint graphs to "clarify" the relationship between laughter and other emotional states, the evening continues with a screening of Samuel Beckett's short film from 1965, in which an aging Buster Keaton seems to have a pathological aversion to allowing his face to be seen by the other protagonists or even the camera. Beckett's 20-minute film will provide the background for philosopher Simon Critchley to explore the three philosophical traditions that attempt to explain why humans enjoy laughing".

Shame on me. Today (Sunday) is the last day of K8 Hardy and Wynn Greenwood's show at Reena Spauling. It's hilarious and so much more, I should of posted this weeks ago when it opened.
371 Grand st... it's closing soon so off with ye!

Big Blue beat Kasparov proving eventually we will all be controlled by murderous robots. Close your eyes, imagine batallions of droid armies goose stepping down lower Fifth Avenue as the desperate shouts of chess fanatics in Washington Square Park cry out, "if only he had found the flaw in Big Blue's sub logic routine..." These devastating thoughts haunt my Saturday morning. But until that day, robots are our friends and their voices are really funny. Here's an excellenttext-to-speech site. I'm enjoying writing out long harassing commands to Mrs. Cub and turning my speakers up really loud.

Todays NYTimes:
When the genetically altered fruit fly was released into the observation chamber, it did what these breeders par excellence tend to do. It pursued a waiting virgin female. It gently tapped the girl with its leg, played her a song (using wings as instruments) and, only then, dared to lick her - all part of standard fruit fly seduction.
The observing scientist looked with disbelief at the show, for the suitor in this case was not a male, but a female that researchers had artificially endowed with a single male-type gene. -hahaha, I think they must of mixed in some of Shane McClutchens genes.
"Hopefully this will take the discussion about sexual preferences out of the realm of morality and put it in the realm of science."
-Dr. Michael Weiss, chairman of the department of biochemistry at Case Western Reserve University.

I had a hearing test at St.Vincents yesterday because the constant ringing in my ears has recently gotten louder. Strange, I ran into Amy Cappalazzo and her kids while I was waiting to see the doctor, anyhow, seems there is nothing they can do for Tinnitus. My hopes of quietude dashed, I went to Tower and had a little spree. Gorillaz is #1 album in the UK this week. They exist only as cartoons and initially I was turned off by the gimmick but curiosity and a considerable amount of advertising got the best of me... I've only listened to 1/2 the cd but already I'm feeling the love for this band. Damon Albarn (Blur) is the leader and Danger Mouse is the producer (the production is amazing). Great electro with a little hip hop and experimental tomfoolery. I'm loving this CD. Best Price for Gorillaz Also got Miss Kitten's Mixing Me, the Rough Trade Shops best of 2004, the new Slater Kinney (the NME review said it was their best) and a New Order single featuring Ana Matronic. Also today, David Humphery's brilliantly curated show "Life and Limb" opens at Feigen Contemporary this eve.

Fasionistas, a new look for summer is rolling your way! The look: sleek/modern meets cat lover: a volatile combination! It folds for easy travel and the 8" wheels will glide smoothly over rough terrain, making it perfect for the cobblestoney streets of Meat Packing Districts world wide. I'm tempted by this, I'd love to be sauntering into Gagosian with my cat Cy leading the way.
I'm going out tomorrow to see shows. Recommendations welcome.

Rabbit Rabbit.
An online religious test told me my beliefs align best with the Quakers. However having just seen the latest StarWars Movie, I'm thinking I rather fancy the Jedi religion. Guess I wouldn't be alone, the 2001 English census found 360,000 devotees declaring themselves Jedi followers. Jews in England there are more jedi's then. Old news. But could Jedi Knights make a children's religious instructional video as compelling as the Christian Scientists? Me thinks not. Video courtesy of The Bonassas. Sorry.