A Blog Called Nowhere

I've got a book by Kuzuo Ishiguro
and some science writing by Bill Bryson
(A short history of Everything) which I can dip in and out of.

# posted by

Corny : 9:11 AM

I am jealous of these gals.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:11 AM

you shouldn't be. These gals are strictly amature hour, wait till you see the pros.

# posted by

Corny : 9:13 AM

I'm inspired to spend my summer in a painted on bikini.

# posted by

Corny : 9:14 AM

I positively LIVE in my painted on overalls

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:18 AM

Hey, hey, careful! Don't sit on my red leather loveseat.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:20 AM

I'm not comforable with the hang of my brest and the way it rubs the paint off leaving big smooshes underneath.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:22 AM

Corns, I read a book by him--The Unconsoled and it was really hard to get into. The writing is beautiful, but a little to little to grab onto. Maybe not the best beach reading. A friend read his new one and hated it.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:23 AM

Is my thong painted on too?

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:24 AM

sorry for my bad grammar and spelling above.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:24 AM

Yes Gigi, for the last time, we must paint thongs on all our girls

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:26 AM

Hi! Morning! Breasts with swooshes under are good for humanity. I have forgotten how to read otherwise I would love to recommend something.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:27 AM

My right leg is acually painted. I lost my leg in a cheerleading accident so fortunately I know a good artist.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:27 AM

interesting, I'll dip into it this weekend to see if it graps me before lugging it to the beach. I got it from a friend who liked it, thanks for the warning

# posted by

Corny : 9:27 AM

MM!! I can't wait to see you. Let's sit in the backseat, as usual, if you catch my meaning.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:28 AM

PD I was hoping to get in your 3rd base area back there. I am bringing bread stix.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:28 AM

I am reading Julia Child's memoir about her time in France. I really like it...but not a beach book really.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:29 AM

I want to bring all kinds of poky fried stix to poke and eat with my brethren.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:29 AM

Hi MM!!! I know, I've TOTALLY forgotten how to read to. I'll be listening to my Hooked on Phonics tapes in the car ride upstate today

# posted by

Corny : 9:30 AM

What constitutes beach reading? Me not sure. I guess not too intense. Like not Ulysses.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:30 AM

Just make sure they are not sesame breadsticks, okay? I can't take the seeds all up in my business.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:31 AM

Hooked on Phonix. Good place to start, I will get that too. I am a few steps behind you, but you are a good model to follow I think. Esp. with painted bum.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:31 AM

please save some pokes for me.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:32 AM

Well I wouldn't bring Julia to the beach 'cause she is a big hardcover. Otherwise....

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:32 AM

Sesame seeds promote infection, internal bleeding, and learning disabilities. UNderstood. But how about orange cheez powder? And why am I so gross?

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:32 AM

Corny I have a special Cheetos glove for you. For the treatments.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:33 AM

MM, I am bringing Crime and Punishment on audio cd--read by Harvey Firestein. Is that okay?

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:33 AM

OMG. I am cackling loudly.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:33 AM

Hulking mass won't get out of bed. Hulking mass wants to be served by a team of servers.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:34 AM

Yeah bring that PDidders. Do it. I want to get very profound on this trip.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:34 AM

The Julia Childs book sounds great, I LOVE that woman, love the way she lumbers around the kitchen like an ox and her voice...

# posted by

Corny : 9:35 AM

I want to get proundly to third base.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:36 AM

I was seriously depressed when she died. I loved her that much. I loved that she loved in-and-out burgers.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:36 AM

We have Moby Dick read by Fran Dresher on tape.

# posted by

Corny : 9:37 AM

Proundly? It's a cross between proudly and profoundly.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:37 AM

I always loved it when Julia made mistakes. Also the tense energy between her and Jacques Pepin.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:37 AM

LOLOLOLOLOLOLO!!

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:38 AM

Fran Dresher. Corny. You sick.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:38 AM

Yeah, she kept sneaking in more butter and wine when he wasn't looking.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:39 AM

I would like to know who would be good to read Ulysses. The guy who announces contestants on The Price is Right?

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:39 AM

No, Mr. Movie phone.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:39 AM

Poor Jacques could not control his seething resentment when her swollen arthritic paws got dropsy.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:40 AM

Can you imagine hearing Truman Capote reading that?

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:40 AM

PD - horrors!! What an awful thought.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:40 AM

Or Willie Nelson singing it?

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:41 AM

I wouldn't mind a Muppet reading of any book.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:41 AM

MM slow down. Breathe into paper bag. Psychotic energy rampant and pillaging.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:42 AM

Yes, it needs to be set to music.

Ulysses: THE MUSICAL!

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:42 AM

lol.... gog stop, your killing me

# posted by

Corny : 9:42 AM

I'd like to hear it read by a 2rd grader using phonics

# posted by

Corny : 9:43 AM

Maybe real slow so all the words are sounded out. Yes. I wouldn't mind Kevin Dillon reading it either. He is profound like Jesus.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:45 AM

I want to hear it read by Cheech in spanish.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:45 AM

Charo?

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:46 AM

I wonder if Cheech actually knows spanish?

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:46 AM

Or all the cast of the Love Boat. One at a time. A round robin Love Boat re-interpretation of Ulysses set to music.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:47 AM

"When is Ulysses coming home? Coochie coochie"

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:47 AM

There is no such thing as Spanish from what I am told. Spanish disappeared last May for some reason.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:48 AM

OH SHIT! That's effed up MM!

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:48 AM

PD - noodle noodle.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:48 AM

I love Ulytheths, I'd like to read it into a tape recorder.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:48 AM

I just downloaded a podcast of Ulysses! Cool, dudes.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:49 AM

Thumbody i would like to hear you speak for a thousand days in a row. Your lithp is enchanting.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:49 AM

Yea, round robin reading by the cast of the love boat while they maul each other with rakes

# posted by

Corny : 9:49 AM

Get the shredded wheat into your iPod Mcfarland, it enhances the vocal axioms.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:50 AM

...in Cabo San lucas.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:50 AM

Corny laughtrack times ten.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:51 AM

The bloody love boat re-enactment. There could be maggots by the end.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:51 AM

my pulse is racing, I'm inspired. My head is swimming with the dolphins

# posted by

Corny : 9:51 AM

This is a good way to begin the day. I am fortified.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:52 AM

I found 10,000 maggots in the garbage can outside The mounds earlier this week...I ment to blog about it..it was SO TRAMATIC!

# posted by

Corny : 9:53 AM

How 'bout Ulysses read by Ricardo Montelban while roasting Herve on a spit...on Fantasy Island?? Anyone?

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:53 AM

sorry, I'm falling apart. I need to go tend to the smooshes.

# posted by

Corny : 9:53 AM

Maggots? Oh Corns that is really rough. I would just shrivel up with fear.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:54 AM

See you later COrns.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:54 AM

PD!!! I'm very excited. You will not excape the needy grasping of the Cheeto Glove®

# posted by

Corny : 9:55 AM

MM...later for you too.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:56 AM

Give me the orange powder--I am ready for it.

# posted by

Anonymous : 9:56 AM

boo, i missed out on the funs, but save some orange powder. I will make sure to pocket some discarded syringes on my way to the L train for later use. see yous later skaters.

oh, corny, i recently read Prep - totally engrossing.

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:00 AM

Thanks Fb, I just read the times review, it's excelent.

# posted by

Corny : 11:06 AM

corny, take THE DIARIES OF KENNETH TYNAN. hilarious, intelligent, informative and scintillating. BEST BOOK EVER ALMOST. xo kb

# posted by

boadwee blog : 11:18 AM

hey corno, read anything by Harry Crews ( try Scar Lover). also Maribu Stork Nightmares by Irvine Welsh is a great read. and one of my all time faves is Geek Love by Katherine Dunn. all above are warped and depraved... perfect waves, bikinis and margaritas.

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:37 AM

Hi Corny, try "The Crimson Petal and the White," by Michel Faber. It's a page turner about a prostitute in 19th C. London. It has a cheesy cover, but it's really good.

# posted by

JD : 1:01 PM

There really is a place named La Playa?

# posted by

Anonymous : 1:08 PM

I think the Dirt (the Motley Crue story) co/ghostwritten by Neil Strauss is an excellent beach read: http://www.blackchampagne.com/reviews/b-the-dirt.shtml.

# posted by

JT : 5:05 PM

The Year of Magical Thinking (Didion), unless you think a story about your husband and daughter dying might be a bit heavy for the beach. Veronica (Gaitskiil), is good, but as chalk full of sex as earlier Gaitskill. Paul Bowles stories are always good for foreign travel, or Jane Bowles, if you are feeling homo. if you can always just stick to the MJ and ipod like I do on the beach

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:35 PM

ps-- that nasty anonymous from yesterday was NOT me. I love Kelli.

# posted by

Anonymous : 8:39 PM

Please check out comments from yesterday. Anon has not responded to my multiple choice test. I'm thinking C or D.

# posted by

Anonymous : 10:43 PM

Dysphoric I don't want you getting hurt. I myself am Femme or Bitch. First we need to know if it is C or D. If it is C Anon might be working out.

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:23 PM

on reviewing the comments, I'm fairly sure it's D. Loser with cap L. I'm going to wake up early to go to gym.

# posted by

Anonymous : 11:41 PM

This is obviously a question for Sea Monkey, who actually reads while surfing. She gets bored sitting out there waiting for the sets to roll in. In the meantime, I'm gonna go ahead and say Joe Westmoreland's Tramps Like Us, which I'm currently reading. If you haven't read it already, it's fun and good.
Re: the excellent airbrushed soccer ball ladies-
We have a choady beach here in San Diego (well ok, they're all choady at some point,) but this one, called Mission Beach, is deffinitely the choadiest. Anyway, there is a cement promenade along the length of it, like in Venice, where people bike & skateboard, etc. There is a special local choad there who is about 45 or 50 (hard to tell with sun damage,) who rollerblades there regularly wearing nothing but a man g-string and body paint, and headphones blasting big symphony crap and opera arias so loudly that everybody can hear it coming from his headphones. He does slow, interprative rollerblade dance movements up and down the promenade to the music. My fave body paint theme of his is basketballs on his butt cheeks.

Whew! That was a lot of work on Sunday morning on not enough caffeine, all for that dumb story. I know you guys see that shit every day there on the subway, but here it's more special.

# posted by

The Capt'n : 12:24 PM

right-o, we're off to Saint Marks Books, I've got my list, thanks. There are some wonderful suggestions here, a reading list to last for the next few months.

Hearts, moons, clovers, rainbows, pandas,
to everyone.

# posted by

Corny : 4:58 PM

Capt'n can't wait to read Joe's book, thanks for reminding me.

# posted by

Corny : 4:59 PM