Saturday, February 10, 2007

Like night and day or like day and day?

Frida was impailed by a pole in a bus accident, I was bending over to clean the cat litter, the common donominator here is the nightmare of having a body. I have been shuffling around The Mounds for a week now, stoically keeping my pain secret inside the prison house of myself, but the ills that flesh is heir to demand to be heard. The vail of wellness, Lifted!

Lumbar: Fuck Fuck Fuck, Ouchy!

There are a lot of problems with this pitiful body, but the nettle in my bramble, the thorn in my thong if you will, is reoccuring lower back pain. I would not throw away the opportunity to get it replaced with a bionic back or a doric collum like Frida here.

do your stretches daily. -anon
You can replace your lumbar region with almost anything including pork loin. You just have to find the right doctor who's willing to do the risky surgery. I have some number if you want to call them.

Hope you feel better...having a body is just about the worst molestation reality has doled out.
see a doctor.
Thanks for the tip MM. I've replaced the troubled region with a leaky bucket of raw sewage and it seems to be doing the job nicely for now. The smell is a bit putred and it clashes with my halter top but whatevs, cripples cant be choosers.
MM does frogs still have a medical licence after the failed phalloplasty attempt he made on you?
Pork loin is a great idea, although sometimes a good T-bone does the trick. The drawback is the pack of wild dogs nipping at your ass. But Corns, would you take the uni-brow too?
I do hope you feel better, cause George wants you to pick her up right about now.
Is that a uni brow? I was thinking a bird was flying towards or away from her forhead. Der.
Actually, it is a bird form branded on her head by Diego. At least that's what some extreme feminists say.
I asked her nicely to put away her brushes for good, but she wouldn't listen....
Acuouncture with drywall nails also helps a bad lower back. But they must be shot in with a nail gun.
Dag homie, that's a true dick blow! If you guys didn't crack me up so much with your dang funny comments I'd go up into a hyper-empathic frenzy over you, since I've had the lumbar probs in the past. Just kidding about the hyper-em freakout. But seriously, i had the burning knife down my leg for a year, but not the sexy kind, so I feel your pain. Then my chiropractor friend saved my ass, literally. I tell you this tale of me not so much because I'm self-centered every second of the day but more to break down the prison walls of you, friend. No need to put up with this shit, nip it early and go to the chiro to get your bones back in place and the acupuncturist for pain management. Sorry to be such a jewish mother but it's in my genetic code so not my fault.
Me too Capt'n, in regards to the Jewish mother type. I always want people to eat more. Including myself.

Corny just cut your back off. Swig some gin and then cutty cut.
You're right, mountain man. Cutty Sark all the way.
I'm going with Dr.No's advice, he's the only one around here talking sense. MM are you drunk?
Must not forget the benefits of baby lifts. Back on floor-knees up-feet flat on floor-raise the gorgeous georginess of it all until arms are fully extended-then lower until your noses touch-repeat until failure,or the little niblet ralphs on your face.
ok, first you will need some lavender sweats. IMMEDIATELY put them on.
second, the pork and raw sewage will probably need some help. maybe you could try wearing something like this or this?
totally sux corny. i hope it is feeling a little better.
that brace looks very fancy like a cumberbund, it would definitely dress up the lavender sweats, not that they need dressing up. Thanks FB. I'm feeling burnt out and also Fat Angry Lonely Tired. W.A.L.T.
HI kennybeans, wuv woo.
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