Friday, December 01, 2006

 
Check it.
The Norf*ckeneasters Surf Club entered the world stage in the fall of last year. It's been a rollicking ride down gods inner thigh ever since. No, we don't "surf' exactly, but in the metaphorical sense, if you know what I'm talking about. The Norf*ckeneasters met each other through Jennifer Coats. Here's what we have in common, a sense of wonder at the possibilities of "curating" the internet via blogs. We've spent a year online with a handful of friends, entertaining ourselves and fellow bloggers. Baroque and often perverse narratives develop in the comment boxes, which are themselves a daily store house of wanton ideas, business models, self help, debauched lingual orgies, a virtual compendium of lateral thinking. Bonds were established - jump cut to one year later - recently we got together and painted six way collaborative paintings. It sounds like a disaster right? You are wrong, my friend! The paintings we made together are brilliant little provocative gems that some collectors are fighting over (with axes) as we talk. Although the collaborative works look like they were produced in asylums, I assure you we are all all free individuals, also, none of us live with our parents. While the art world is busy eating itself alive, the Norf*ckeneasters are dedicated to play and to the marginalized form of six way collaborative painting. Adopting a rigorus editorial policy, we then picked separate works to represent the unique temper of each individual Norf*ckeneaster.

Pluto has been incredibly understanding and generous to let us be so self-indulgent for their inaugural show.

730 Classon Ave
Brooklyn
Opening Saturday 6-8

Comments:
awesome corny! the "marginalized form of six-way collaborative painting" is making a comeback tomorrow night.

a shout out to MM for the connective threading, to you and sloth for all your work (i heard about hanging the show!), and pluto for hosting.

i feel like i should say something perverse of debauched now. this is way to straightforward.
 
them's some beautimus prose, corns. i can't wait to do a six-way with alla y'all.
 
It's been such a fun ride down God's inner thigh that I think we need to tackle Jesus next! Nobody is safe from our debauched ways. I hope you picked my "self-portrait as sinner" painting.

Great write-up Corns.
 
All I can say about this is:

OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD.

No time to talk, gotta scramble to get EARTHQUAKE INSURANCE.
 
Better add FIRE insurance too, 'cause somethin's burning, child.
 
I think something is gonna be burning down the house on Classon this weekend. Wowza, ladies...
 
Wow Corns, what a post. A ride down the memory of Jesus' bloody hand towel. A journey through the tunnel of lack of assimilation. I can't wait!!!! Thank you to Slothers and you for putting this ass kicker together.

xxxx
 
Let's ride down the thigh of another JC while we're at it...
Hi MM! Hi Capt'n and Gaylord! We're gonna be puttin out the fire with gasoline.
 
wow, how did i miss this post until now!! excellent piece corny - though i wasn't there at the inception i'd like to provide the contraception at the reception. if that's ok. i love you all and dream of a 6-way. like, constantly.
 
Me too, Dubz, me too.

You may induce contraception upon me any time. The true inception only occurs with your mention of poo, just so you know.
 
PS, as per your post Corny, speak for yourself but I personally may be soon moving to either

1. an asylum
2. back in with my parents

or

3. into the monkey house at the zoo
 
not to be baroque or perverse, but i just fielded a call from a *very* upset mrs. rubell who is pissed off that she wasn't given first refusal on our "provocative little gems." she was hoping to flesh out her ejaculatte wall installation with them. to appease her i said we'd make an edition of prints fashioned from our own excrement. she's way into it. paid upfront.
 
"not to be perverse" Dubzy, we like you because you are perverse. Please don't apologize.
 
i'm also perverted.
 
Dubz send someone to punch her in the face maybe.
 
i think i'll do a modern dance move using her ears for balance.
 
Does she have long soft ears? That would be ideal for balance.
 
Mrs. Rubell is the living canvas upon which we base our next collaboration called Phenomenologies of the Brown at the Crossroads of Reason and Intuition (!)
Mrs. Rubell will be smeered with poo and will then have to negotiate to collect herself as a work of art. Very radical stuff.
 
i bet she'll give herself a 20% discount and ask for extra poo to be crated and shipped to an alternate address to avoid sales tax.
 
It is so radical this new forum you are mentioning, that my hands feel greasy. I am softening and warming potato chips with them. It is xxx special.

I can give you a 75% discount on everything that I am Dubz. Please?
 
sure, i'll take it. sounds terrific. i'll fax my resale certificate from the nearest kinkos.
 
I saw the beginning of this movie last night called Au Hasard Balthazar, about a girl who falls in love with her donkey. I got sleepy and couldn't finish watching but also I couldn't finish watching because everyone in this little French town hurts the donkey. Burns his tail. Hits him. He is the martyred saint of the universe. It was tough to handle - a donkey getting maimed like that. Horrors. Anyway.
 
Great Dubz. If you can pay in sticky twenties you won't be charged tax.
 
Fuck hurting Donkeys. Thats low! Why do people even make movies like that? I'd like to see a movie about a donkey winning the lottery
 
It was low, Corny. But the girl who loved him made him a crown of grass and daisies and kissed his sweet face like he was king. To some this could be like winning the lottery. I now feel that I should have a real donkey instead of just an imaginary one.

I will make sure my donkey is very comfortable.
 
Who is the star with 2 donkeys? Jealous.
 
Nicola T... I wonder if she would lend us the Donkeys to put the poo smeered Mrs. Rubell on. Thats would be so Goyaesque and well, logical really
 
I am sure Nicola will be amenable to this. It is not only logical but morally and fiscally sound. Can there be a giggle track playing while this happens or is that too obvious.
 
you could keep him on your estate to look after things, keep the grass tidy and stuff.
 
Corns I could not be separated from my donkey, I no longer trust anyone. My donkey will sleep in my bed and that is final.

I am making a poo mousse pie for the opening. It is garnished with diaper rash.
 
I am an outift up for grabs for anyone who wants to wear me tonight. I am gathered at the waist, fluffy around the hips and thighs and tight at the ankles. I have straps.
 
by giggle track you mean the audience spitting up jzzlattes, right?
 
I call Adic Wash! But wait, are you a jump suit? Do you have an ass flap for when it's time to "go"
 
Acid wash, do you come with suspenders? Are there ironed creases in your tapered legs?
 
I have a secret hole and companion hose on my back end for the squishy scoots to work it out when they need too. Also a hand held power vac if you need a little help with the excavations. My straps go from front to back, over the shoulders, as straps should. The shirt can be yours to choose, I recommend a blouse.
 
Acid wash--FB is looking for you.

MM, I saw that film--so fucking sad. Didn't they keep showing close-ups of the Donkeys sad eye. Let's all ride in on donkeys tonight.
 
I am ironed downed the center of each leg for attractive creasing possibilities, yes. I am tapered for relaxation over fashion. I am my own trend.
 
I am ironed downed the center of each leg for attractive creasing possibilities, yes. I am tapered for relaxation over fashion. I am my own trend.
 
Sorry. I twiced it.
 
Donkeys for the opening and wheelchairs for the after party.
 
I need a new old look Acid Wash. Please help.
 
Peeds, if we could ride donkeys I would be ecstatic, so much so that I could die in the morning feeling I accomplished everything I needed to.

The eye of the donkey in the film was the tenderest and saddest thing. Ugh.
 
Peeds I am here to help.

No one has told me of the after party. I assume you are trying to get away from me, thinking you might escape my variegated notions. I am imposing them on you anyway. You will slip easily into my soft architecture.
 
i had a dream that we all met at corny's studio before the opening. it was a beautiful adobe-style place with one tiny window, really high up that swathed the whole room in jesus light. it was amazing. i just remembered.
 
And we hopped on our Donkeys and rode into the sunset.

I am assuming there is an after party--at Pre-Chew Charlies Steakhouse.

I know how you feel MM, I could die happy on a Donkey surrounded by you guys...ah.
 
That is extremely sweet Dubzy.
 
I love when you write "ah" Peeds. It is tres sexy. Tres exciting.
 
Acid Wash, possibilities are unfolding within the matrix of the fashion-relaxation dyad, you sound lively and sophisticated! Unfortunately I've decided to wear a yellowish membrane wrap dress tonight, I'm taking care of.
 
I haven't blogged this much in ages. I am storming the comment box. I feel lightheaded and now require a sip of juice. Must remember to breathe.
 
Corny, this yellowish membrane wrap, it is streaked with pale grey, no? You will look like the queen cadaver.
 
Inhale, exhale MM. Ahhhhhhhhh.
I am listening to the mouth guitar solo from "Do you feel like I do."
For you, mm.
 
Peeds I can't wait to possess this! THank you!!!! Wah wahs all around.
 
Dubz, reality... you sleep walked right on into my jesus light bathed studio last night, it wasn't a dream, you were here, I shapeshifted into a Water Vole-hawk if you remember.
 
I'm really lookin forward to seeing the wall smears tonight.
 
hopefully there will be donkey excrement and jesus track lighting.
 
Yuggoth... is a strange dark orb at the very rim of our solar system... There are mighty cities on Yuggoth—great tiers of terraced towers built of black stone... The sun shines there no brighter than a star, but the beings need no light. They have other subtler senses, and put no windows in their great houses and temples... The black rivers of pitch that flow under those mysterious cyclopean bridges—things built by some elder race extinct and forgotten before the beings came to Yuggoth from the ultimate voids—ought to be enough to make any man a Dante or Poe if he can keep sane long enough to tell what he has seen...
 
Rock on! Thank you Sloth and Corny for putting together the six way.
 
Wow Zip! I never knew of Yuggoth. Thanks. You are unique.
 
Molly should of called the gallery Yuggoth, it sounds much more lively there then Pluto which just has methane storms 24-7
 
maybe she can rename it every time she has a new show. the best month would be "uranus," where methane storms come approximately every 7 seconds and especially after burritos.

thank you again corny. i love the show.
 
Corncub, I can't tell you enough how much I love the show and feel so good to be a part of it. I am coughing up my lungs today, but only hope I can have quality time with all of you on the dance floor when I am cured. Thanks again!!
 
" " " "

I second the PeeDeeEmotion! except for the coughing up lungs part...

Let's have a closing party? & make it more gymnastical, I am thinking really messy pyramid formations. I want to do a flying jump onto a big sloppy pile of Norf*ckneasters...
 
" " " "

Great idea Sloths. But can we do real horse dancing too? With real horses or maybe ponies?
 
I will wear my riding outfit.
 
cool, I'll wear my assless chaps. there will be carrots for all.
 
a closing party would be rad.
 
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