Thursday, November 02, 2006


What does the Gaylord Rehibilitation Center and Boadwee Blog have in common? How about a love of Dory Previn* and both of them turning me onto the song, Lady With a Braid. Gaylord aptly called it the most passive agressive love song ever sung.

Lady With a Braid appears on one of the best compilation CDs I've picked up in a long time, The Trip by Jarvis Cocker (of Pulp fame) it's ace beyond words, it's a double CD packed with juicy nuggets and worth every penny. Heres the Amazon link.


would you care to stay till sunrise

it's completely your decision
it's just that going home is such a ride

going home is such a ride
going home is such a ride
going home is such a low and lonely ride

would you hang your denim jacket
near the poster by picasso
do you sleep on the left side or the right
would you mind if i leave on the light
would you mind if it isn't too bright
now i need the window open
so if you happen to get chilly
there's this coverlet my cousin hand crocheted
do you mind if the edges are frayed
would you like to unfasten my braid

shall i make you in the morning
as cup of instant coffee
i will sweeten it with honey and with cream
when you sleep
do you have dreams?
you can read the early paper
and i can watch you while you shave
oh god the mirror's cracked
when you leave
will you come back?
you don't have to answer that at all
the bathroom door is just across the hall
you'll find an extra towel on the rack
on the paisley patterned papered wall
there's a comb on the shelf
i papered that wall myself
that wall

would you care to stay till sunrise
it's completely your decision
it's just the night cuts through me like a knife
would you care to stay awhile and save my life?
i don't know what made me say
i've got this funny sense of humor
you know i could not be downhearted it i tried
it's just that going home is such a ride
going home is such a ride
going home is such a ride
isn't going home is such a low and lonely ride?

the trip looks fabulous! anybody who throws in porter wagoner on their comp is ace with me. that guy is spooky in a nudie suit. fits perfectly with the birthday party.
who's painting is that?
OH! I'm so glad you're up on Dory now! Then you can know the weird reference point PD and I are taking up space on your blog with. Isn't it excellent? I have an album if you want a full dose of Dory. I guess Andre Previn dumped her for Mia Farrow...that's what I'd call a trading down, girl.
I don't know what made me say that, I've got a funny sense of humor.
YAY!!!I am so glad we can now reference this song all over the place, Corns! Next time Gay and I sing it in your car, maybe it'll actually playing on the stereo. Would you like to stay awhile and save my life now???
sorry for typos
OMG you guys have been holding out on me!
Dory is a revelation, thank you Gaylord, I do want the whole album. Theres a song about her mother I'm dying to hear. This is like a description of HELL NIGHT. She wants to leave the window open and the lights on and sleep under her ratty quilt, god I wonder if the guy she's singing to stayed or not.

For some reason "i papered that wall myself" made the Mrs. and I weepy with laughter. This song is shocking.
I know, I know pd, saving your life is completely my decision
UJ this was painted by someone. i don't know their name.
This just in....

Painting by Steven kenny
there are some amazing paintings on this guys site!
I think that perhaps the best decision steven kenny made in this painting is the conceptual intertwining of garlic braid and hair braid. I'd like to think its about repelling vampires and maybe only psychic ones at that. Cheers, Steven.
The wallpaper detail is the Oversharing clincher. It's when you know this person who you may be sleeping with is a little too...stoked. refer back to psychic vampire.
My hair is my shield
This is the ANTHEM of the psychic vampire! Funny too how just the word "coverlet" makes the skin crawl
What about bringing in her cousin's handiwork?? That is pretty oversharey.
I have never heard a more misguided come-on then "would you like to unfasten my braid"
I can just picture the guys face, attempting to appear like that is something he's want to do.
Is she really singing "instant coffee"?? That changes everything. I say NO. My decision is NO, DOry. I thought it was homemade coffee.
I'm working on a song about my great aunt's hook rugs.
Well, when I dated Pocahantas...she used that on me.
Needless to say I did unfasten the braid only once. Then I moved on...
Wait, I can't be sure about that. i think these lyrics I got off the interweb are not 100%

Like does she really say I'll MAKE YOU IN THE MORNING, as in I'll make slow and patuli scented hippy love to you? Or is she singing about makeing the coffee, I need to review the song...
when I was dating Heidi of the hills she wouldn't let me near her braids.
Hmmm, good question. She definitely sings I'll make you in the morning, but whether she intended the dual meanings, I do not know. She is deep that way.
your a real plahya peeds fingering the braids of celebrities like it's nothing
I also love that she is concerned about the cracked mirror. Probably an ex-lover threw that tepid cup of instant coffe at it.
Oh, please! Pocahantas has nuttin on me. But I did Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman's braids as well.
yeah, she's deep. Andre previn and her wrote the soundtrack to Valley of the Dolls together, but eventually her braid got in the way of her relationship with him.
the denim jacket, the picasso poster, the braid, the PAISLEY... yeeeesh.

I can't help it but in my mind's eye he's shaving his ass.
lol the cracked mirror, thats funny. I want to hear the follow up song about her stalking him.
OMG sloths thats the same image I HAVE!
There is a song she sings (its hard to find) about ass hair on her coverlet
Oh I know that one. She makes a beaded lint roller out of sandalwood and masking tape... she's a handy one, that one.
I'm going to say "that one" a few more times now, 'k?
I think she sets his ass hair in rollers.
That she rolled herself.
Thus the "comb on the shelf."
actually she uses pine cones for ass hair rollers and tree bark/dirt treatment to give his hair body
sometimes she french braids it... fetching!
Sometimes her braid fetches things like pine cones.

The amazing thing is that besides song, Dory also uses her braid to communicate her emotions, like a cat's tail... it's creepy till you get used to it.
I swear i singled out this track on my iPod and played it 2 seconds before looking at ABCN. PSYCHIC FUCKIN' HOTLINE. And yes, this is THE compilation to beat all compilations.

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Thing is Corns, you're gonna need a special group de-programming ceremony to get the song out of your head now. Ask me, ask peeds- it ain't easy. Smudging won't help.
oversharing side note:
AHHHH! I AM FREEEEEEE!! of the chittlins!!! I NEED TO DRINK!!!
it's homemade coffee, not instant. God, I was really freaking out there for a second. Instant coffee changes EVERYTHING.
But Homemade coffee WOAH, now thats worth spending the night.
I like how Dory say creeeaaaammmm. it's sorta really sexy. Makes me WANT it in my homemade coffee.
Holy shit, Corn. That song is GENIUS. So is Dory Previn, whom I thought was an orchestra conductor. Wow. I gonna have to have the top my head put back on with a metal plate. Thanks for this inspiring post.
Or does Dory Previn just take time off from his busy Weehawken Philharmonic conducting schedule to toss off a masterpiece now and then?

Can we know reality? Spotlight back on ME:

Will I ever make out with a Lady in Braids again? Will I ever make out with ANYONE again?
as lonk as I have a twat, you've got someone to make out with!
why thank you bastard son of a loaded gun! What a lovely offer! Next time I see you will you come up to me and immediately show me how the world isn't made up of lies and liars? Seeing as I am shy, contrary to all popular belief?
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