Wednesday, September 13, 2006

 
Two LA highlights:

1. The Getty Villa located in Malibu verges on the surreal. Imagine a senior care/retirement facility in a fake Roman villa stuffed full of Greek and Etruscan art. Most entertaining is the way they labled the painted Greek black and terra cotta pottery, for instance, picture two guys fucking and the lable reading "elder statesman trips on boy", or a vase depicting a man fingering a womans Clown Pocket, label reads, "man gives woman flower". Yeah, right, nice flower. It's an impressive collection of antiquities but taken as a whole it's a bit tacky, begging the question, where are the slot machines?

2. We visited the Ovitz family collection. Hiding in an inoccuous gray building in Santa Monica exists a fantastic collection of German painting. It's not all Mike Ovitz collects, but recently German painting has become the thrust of the collection. We were blown away by Kippenburger, Rausch, two enormous and beautiful Doigs, infinitely more beautiful then the Doigs we saw at the Whitney this year which were livin' in Dullsville... The collection is the vision of Andrea Feldman Falcione (we went to high school together) who does all Ovitz's buying. Her taste is impecable with the heavy bent towards painterly painting. We were also turned onto a Leipzig painter we hadn' t seen before, Christoph Ruckhaberle, similar to Matthias Weischer but with Baulthas like figures hanging about doing stuff.

Comments:
hey corny! kool. i was curious about the ovitz collection. i can't get on board with ruckhaberle, but the others... yum... p.s. glad you're back. it was tumbleweed city around here without you.
 
Zach Feuer will be very distressed to hear you hadn't heard of Christoph Ruckhäberle before!

Hey, did you notice Leo Koenig's new website running on my ArtCat software?
 
Dubz!!!! I missed yer ass, please tell me I'LL BE SEEING YOU THURSDAY?! We saw 2 ruckhaberle paintings, there is definitely some crappy painting going on in them but one of them had a crowd of figures, like a orgy of girls which appealed to me, I don't think they're very good but was interested in seeing them, they're so Baulthasy which struck me as strange, he's such an unlikely influence. did you scroll all the Sterling Ruby sculptures I linked to in last post? I think yer work is related in a way, the sculpture more then the painting.
barry I'm ASSshamed of how lame my knowledge of contemorary art is, I never know who any one is or where they show, I forget names of everyone including my friends and family... Leos site is much improved, what is this ArtCat all about?
 
DUBZ DUBZ DUBZ.HELP. The festering boil on my ass is getting worse and worse. WE'VE REACHED A CRITICAL POINT, if I pop it I risk drownding myself and flooding the house. Or maybe you can send over some donuts to soak up the pus?
 
corny, never fear. there is a pallet of freshly baked donut holes on its way. one hole can soak up 2.3 ounces of pus. whatever you do DON'T FLOOD THE MOUNDS!!
 
my main problem with ruckhaberle is that i can't spell or say his f*king name.
 
Foggy is sharpening his beak for the big opperation but will wait for donuts. Maybe we can re-sell them as delicious *PUSNUTS*
 
I hate neames you cant say. He should change it to
Fuckhaberle
 
or Fuckberger. Thats it!
 
yeah, fuckberger works... and it's still german!
 
I cant believe they built you a cubical under a bridge. Thats so unfair. Mrs.cub takes out her vengence on DIA making her work in a cubical by covering it with Dilbert and cathy comics, looks great next to the Hanna Darbovens
 
Fuckbergers with a side of kraut Thursday night
 
Eric Parker is DJ Fuckburger. He doesn't know it yet, but methinks it'll take
 
thursday... i think i can make it. but i have to go to some relic viewings first. fuckberger!
 
there's talk of expanding our cubes... to get a better view of gehry's monstrosity across the street. it ain't right that my lacie electron 22 blue IV monitor leaves no room for my keyboard cuz they made our desks so narrow. how can i make donuts in these conditions? FUCKBERGER X 1 zillion!!!
 
Oh geez. maybe your suposed to put the keyboard up your ass and type with your colon? That architect , he's all over the ergonomics of your cube
 
Fuckenfuckberger is right.
 
A: losers!
 
hum. fine I'll just go there alone. I had best deleat that.question.
 
you can replace it with another question and the A: can still be losers.
 
Hi, Corny. This is ArtCat:

http://www.artcat.com/

Self-managed websites for artists and galleries. I already have Foxy Production, Oliver Kamm, DCKT, and a few others as clients.
 
Q: Who are my nextdoor neighbors who play U2 full volume in their backyard and "sing" along in a shrill ear piercing style every night?




Thanks barry, i'll check it out.
 
My colon can type faster than your colon, Corny. Wazzup? I am missing you.
 
Your colon is a talented slab o meat my friend. I miss you back
 
pd, your colon should visit me in my cube. corny, yours will get demoted if you don't start typing 12,000 words per minute while also giving the boss a blow job. werkers today are so lame...
 
My colon types faster then my fingers but my sphincter keeps accidentally hitting the caPS BUTTON.
 
my brown star keeps hitting the asterisk
 
I'm rusty with blow jobs but willing to learn, wait maybe my colon can give the blow job and type! It's just a matter of logistics which I'm sure we can work out, you know, stuff it all in there!
 
I can type five hundred polyps a minute.
 
leaves hands free to whip up a nice frothy Ejaculatte
 
Brownstar, I wanna get that for the Jammy Jar.
 
I'll have a venti ejaculatte with caramel and cinnamon.
 
brownstar is so kool... it tells you when to stop and when to turn. also has a built-in ejaculatte monitor and a bumper sticker that says "i brake for fuckbergers"
 
Peeds I know your prone to exageration but 500ppm?

PS Motherfuckberger!, you are so going down in the hotdog eating contest.
I've been streching my stomach for weeks.
 
this whole ejaculatte business is going to be HUGE.
We need to open a chain called BrownStarfucks!
 
Brownstar says corny will prevail, but peeds will get points for style. in the end it will be a tie and everyone will take their shirts off.
 
No doubt. I hate shirts. But I love a Pussyjuice au lait, know where I can get one?
 
now hiring. looking for an interesting people to work at our flagship store designed by Franklin Ghery on 19th street between 10th and 11th ave
 
Corny!!!

I am taking that computer away from you!!!

The Mrs.
 
email your applications to brownstarfucks@snatch.com. we don't discriminate.
 
Okay, maybe 400ppm. And 400 hot dogs per minute...with style.
Starfucks are "popping up" with ejacualttes all over town.
 
fuck off gene, don't make me blacken your other eye! I AM
working by the way, a bitch needs a break every now and then.
 
oh, oh, it's Gene. It was all Dubz's idea...
 
Gene, she is doing valuable cuntsumer research.
 
It's going to be a long, cold winter at The Mounds with that attitude....

PD, you are in the clear.
 
Whew! I escaped the wrath of Gene. And if you need a venti latte of some sort...let me know.
 
I'm being spied on by the enemy. I got to go. We're developing new novelty drinks at the lab like the Iced Blended Pusuccino
 
hey wait - did you guys sell me out? i say we deliver a venti ejaculatte to the mrs' cube---one sippa that and she'll forget everything...
 
or maybe she'd like to try the test batch of breast milk mochaccinos?
 
they're milky .... but brown.... all the way down
 
I'm in.
 
Or maybe a tall Lappachino and a Felatte?
 
Or is it Fellattio?
 
how about an autoerotic strangulatté?
 
I am addicted to those! Cough, cough.
 
yeah, they're dangerous and require props. but what you DON'T want is a Premature Ejaculatté - they never have enough foam.
 
Dude, you talkin to me.
 
That was a question.
 
Hey corny- can u make it to my deejay gig on thursday? at the LES Kruatjoint? Would love to see you!
 
yeah, i was talking to you, mcfizzleccino.
 
Honkyfuckingbergerjuden I'll be there with the Spazmastersons Dance Troup® Didn't you know, we're performing to the sounds you lay down. Be warned, we're not so cute.

the Premature Ejaculatté is a lite drink. Have you guys tried the Spiced Jizzlatte? I like to dunk my Hot muffin in it
 
Corny,

Please dunk your hot muffin into this shopping list of things I need for dinner tonight:

Italian Parsley
Parmesean Cheese
2 heads of Garlic

The Mrs.
 
My research and development team has presented the new Brownstarfucks® Employee Uniform. It's a UNITARD with soiled baloon pants inspired by the fashion forward thinking of our beloved FROGS! Employees are encouraged to "go" right in their pants!
 
Excuse me Mame! This comments box is for Brownstarfucks® business only!
 
official Brownstarfucks® business:

where do i pick up my unitard? i really have to go to the bathroom.
 
I fart fuckabees!
 
goddess bless you dubz. I just mentally spit coffee all over my computer.

yo sup adhoc!
 
I break for fuckabees!
 
announcing the Brownstarfucks® corporate merger with K-Fart! soon there will be a Brownstarfucks® stand in every store!
 
Wow...art runs in the Feldman family - my friend Karen runs http://artelglass.com/
 
Sorry 'bout the time lag. Been cleaning Brown Town for Lady Slothra's return. She will have Scooter of the clan MacGruder in tow who is known for her fastidiousness -- especially when licking the winking snowflake.
 
dang, adhoc! you down with the brown!
 
Once you go brown, you never look down. Or something like that . . .
 
Re: the Getty Villa
welcome to Cali, or So Cal. That's how they roll here, tacky plus plus.

Re: brown star etc.
I feel like we should all share a cigarette now, or at least ya'll should
 
Zach, Zack, Zac or Zhou Zhou
do you check yer gmail account?
 
Also Zack, Zac or Zhou Zhou,

Karen Feldman is in the fall issue of O at Home, an Oprah Magazine, there is an article about her and the “Artel Story”.

Those girls rock.
 
Adhoc I think the saying goes "once you go brown your always face down"
 
brown. brown. brown!
 
can i still get a unitard? are you guys wearing them tonight?
 
I need a dozen or so unis.
 
YES, a dozen unitards, worn at the same time, layered-like. It could make bathroom visits problematic, but it would be perfect for the tard dancing.
 
uh, slothy - apparently you missed the best feature of the unitards: YA GET TO SHIT IN 'EM.
 
possible solution: cut a hole thru unitards for a pee-mate.
 
dubzy, we crossed in the ether AGAIN! Kinda like "crossing swords."

Yes, I look forward to that warm Mr. Softee sensation.
 
My unitard is at the cleaners. I guess I'll have to wear my overalls, they're kinda in the same family.
 
the cleaners!!??!! i thought they were supposed to have shit stains. now i'm confused. i'm going to have to go home to change.
 
no no dubz DONT CHANGE!
let me explain. I've been wearing my shit filled unitard for 5298 days straight, the ass is so loaded with shit I can barely walk. I'm afraid it will hamper my spaz-dancing so i thought I'd start fresh...
 
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