A Blog Called Nowhere

corny, thank you. I am going to be flying Naked Air from now on. With the new NTSB rules, naked airport security checkpoints are a surefire time-saver... plus maybe they'll seat me next to Natalie.
 

Naked Air is the best. i love the disposable plastic seat covers that double as placemats.
 

Hi Sloths!!!

Dubz, goddess bless you.
 

They have a choice between shrimp cocktail and mini weiners for the inflight meal
 

& does it even need to be said? ...HOT POCKETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

It goes without saying.
Which reminds me of the free cavity searches they give away to the first 50 customers!
 

Ok. I'm really going to to studio today.
just watch
 

i love watching rotund passengers struggle to get their stowed luggage after landing.
 

Stewardess, can you help me, my buckle seems to be stuck.
 

good luck in the shack corny. i'm wasting another 8 house here at the shithole. i've logged enough wasted hours that i'm eligible for a free flight on Naked Air.
 

yeah, i bet a lot of pubes fall victim to faulty seat belt buckles. i think naked air plans to set up a brazilian shave kiosk outside the jet way to help twart this very problem.

oh, and i meant to say "hours" instead of "house." please accept my retard member card as proof that i am stoopid.
 

Tom Cruise believes that Naked Air was highjacked by a gang of alien snakes and flown into a giant ancient volcano, thus inpregnating mother earth. You can't disprove it...
 

all scientologists believe that naked air is on autopilot by the devil, and that anyone who removes their clothing to board a winged machine is in commune with a giant mutant pear called "Charvis."
 

they specialize in "the landing strip" at the brazilian shave kiosk. The strips of wax and hair are recycled and used to upolster the plane.
 

Charvis!!!!
I've heard that if you pay the scientologists a zillion dollars you can get face time with Charvis.
 

Charvis told me to take my clothes off. Charvis did it. Charvis impregnated Earth after securing a contract with Paramount.
 

I prayed for an eternity in the darkness that Charvis would push me down, finally it happened!
 

pears are now in season. watch out, earthlings. i have sent mr. cruise to work the High Kiosk. all pubic hair will be recycled into upholstery and flown straight into the Grand Orifice.
 

You sound like a real Film buff AA.

No apololies necessary about wednesday night, we had fun drawing sex organs on your face with a Sharpie while you snoozed. We got worried that you wouldn't think it was funny so we washed it off with brillo pads before you woke...
 

Corny, this is child pornography, you know. Watch out, they can get you for this. Of course she is due to turn 18 in about 3 months so they may let you slide.
 

damn, i gotta git me one a them 18 year olds.
 

Don't let Dubz hear that.
 

Oh, wait, I think she broke it off already.
 

Hey babe, I have gotten some reconstructive surgery and alls I gotta say is Dubz will be sorry after she sees my new kruller. Really cool.
 

Yeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhh baby! I knew you'd see things my way. And hopefully my kruller won't be tooo much in the way. Heh, heh.
 

like i said, AFTER cranium. i plan on bonus rounds, if you know what i mean.
 

just sayin, your observation about painter movies is right on. i would love to see a very dull movie about painting, though (maybe a slo-mo bob ross biopic?). that nick nolte sequence in "new york stories" was pretty good, though, with all those squishy pallette close ups.
 

I only wanted to let you know that Goya's Ghosts trailer is already in theathers all over Spain.
 

Hey Jesse, the Nick Nolte painting scenes were beyond OTT.
good stuff.
Hi Mr.Rehab, hows life on the wagon? do you life in an assisted care facility in Utah? It seems very Magic Mountain, are you taking a cure there? Maybe I'll join you.