Monday, July 31, 2006

As an ambassador to many countries I would like to nominate Paris Hilton and Flavor Flav to be emissaries of peace to the middle east. If they would volenteer to do a good will tour of the Isreali-Lebanese border, there is a good chance fighting would immediately cease. Hostilities from both sides would dissolve into a hush of stunned silence at the shear absurdity of these two human beings. I know it could work and am petitioning Kofi Annan to use his connections to help make it happen.

Truly inspired idea, corny. If these two can exist on the same planet as the rest of us, anything is possible.

I am stunned into silence by your beautiful, color-coordinated text, btw.
Bullseye, sir, as per usual.
Thank you Slothy. The Ambassador to Many Nations must think outside the box. The UN and the Pope are merely calling for a cease fire, thats not enough. Opperation Send in the Clowns is a last resort tactic.
'allo capt'n!
this is brilliant, corny. if they can't stop the fighting, at least they could be a clown sacrifice of sorts.
Dubz, you are totally picking up what i'm putting down. We can spaz dance around the great alter of burning clowns, I'm thinking the gods would be wowed.
You can also send Roberto Bennini, as he knows how to turn a war on its silly ear! And save people in the process.

Corns, you are working overtime as ambassador.
yeah, corny's really filling the pants of the ambassador job. i mean shoes.
Brilliant! Operation Send in the Clowns is THE answer Ambassador. You know, I bet Robin Williams would be willing to cheer up the dying/wounded on the battlefield with his clown nose. He has experience.
Let's send Liza Manelli in to sing "Send in the Clowns."
Not since those tiny twin sisters on the back of Mothara the giant peace keeping moth have I seen such genius in the area of negotiations.
The world owes you its gratitude Corny
not sure if you could ever be thanked enough
Missiles could be replaced by human cannon balls. Flav = short-range ballistic, a purple streak in the sky. Paris = surface-to-air. We need maybe a Tom Cruise missile?
" operation send in the clowns" just gave me a whole new reason to live.
Mere words cannot express...etc, etc.
foggy is being very rowdie this AM. I gave him a bird bath with the hose in the garden and he was loving it, at least i think it was love, maybe he was really pissed? What do i know? I know he's extra cute when wet.

Sloth your "Paris =surface-to-air" is pretty good, but you're crossing a line with the Tom Cruise missile.
Liza Manelli would make a good eddition to the Clown Corps. I'm on it.

Gree C. a giant insect couldn't hurt the peace process, and as it happens, this very minute as I type, a crack team of molecular genetic engineers looking into mutating a head lice to epic proportions.

The Olsen twins maybe riding the giant lice bareback into the war zone...
fingers crossed.
Foggy is soggy? My guess he no likey water in large doses. But what do I know?
I just had pasta for breakfast. Mmmmm good.
Robin Williams will be sacrificed to accompany the dedication of a new french fry bridge spaning from Jerusalem to Beirut.
Well, if the Olsen twins are going, can we send the entire Culkin clan too? Maybe they can ride in on Lindsay Lohan's fake tits?
You are just asking for that french fry bridge to be blown up.
Freedom Fry bridge.
Lindsay lohans tits will come in handy for the children to bounce on with glee when the fighting ceases. I think Melanie Griffith's scar tissue could also be used as shields for the Emissaries.
the hosing down was very light dusting of mist, were you picturing the hose set to "crowd control"?
Lindsay can't handle all the kids. Let's throw in Pam Anderson for good measure.
I guess as an ambassador, I assumed you would always have the hose on "crowd control."
Bon jour Cornichon, mon ami. I love your plan--it iz zo zexy.
My hose will be set to Crowd Control on kareoke night, that i can promis you.
Hi Cat! You aren't so bad yourself.
Peshaw! I am putting on my thigh-high black leather bootz. Zis post makez me, how jewish people zay, shvitz?
oops! I think Cat was talking there and used my name....
Oy, nuttin werse than a French gal tryin' to speak yiddish.
Cat will totally consume you, heart soul, blogger iddentity...

Pd, I can't believe your going to Japan!!!
hi! I know, i can't believe our lil robot friend! pd, you are an inspiring traveler.
I am excited. I just closed my eyes and bought the ticket. I will probably freak out on the streets of Tokyo. But they do respect the bots there.
Corny, I bet Foggy loved the hose on account of he is a tropical rainforest-style critter and therefore partial to 100º temps with rain. He must be in lovebird heaven.

I am thinkin though, for Operation Send In The Clowns, the first clown we should send is Mel Gibson. He will draw all the fire from both sides with his atomic mouth & exhaust the weapons stockpiles.
Sloths you are thinking on your feet my friend!
Gibson is a class A creep. More of a Wayne Gacy kind of clown really. Everyone knows when you get that drunk you say exactly whats in your heart. I wouldn't mind emptying my arsenal on him.

Yes, Fogs really loves this weather. all the other animals are wilting.
oh sloth, mel gibson is a definite.
Hi Fb! Our little robot... so sweet. Off to the land of the rising sun.

peeds, will you bring me home a Sumo wrestler wrapped in seaweed?

Peeds, will you find out if japanese strippers really wear bean pasties?
i am going as peeds' butler. it has been decided. tough shit corny!
Dubz, again an inconvenient truth, I'm bigger then you. Don't worry we'll bring you home a tub of fish roe or some bamboo shoots..
Inspired by slothy, I suggest sending in a team of Mels. Mel Gibson will charm all groups with his diplomatic sensitivity and his long-standing relationship to the power brokers in Bartertown. The reanimated corpse of Mel Torme will bring the fighting to a halt by smothering the region in his velvet fog. And Melly Mel will free everyones minds with his infectious booty shakin' rhythms.
Adhoc you are a big help in the peace effort and I'm thinking the people of the middle east will be showering you (and the "Melee") with hummus and pita points.

PS. Melly mels web site is EXCITING! Wow. I like the "Pussy Album". Whos bad?
I am ready to go too. I think a good tennis clinic would help a lot over there. I have prepared an organized lesson plan and workout regimen complete with steroids.
martina, I never would of taken you for a participant in the Clown Parade but who am I to judge. I think a tennis clinic on the isreali - lebanese border can't hurt!
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