A Blog Called Nowhere

My first word of advice is kick Sandy Duncan out of your basement Corny she can't be trusted
I know for a fact that Team Shredder has no team mascot-just saying, maybe an animal?
have you ever seen a sloth swim its pure beauty under water
 

gree c. will you be the team extermanator? I seem to have a sandy duncan infestation, they're all over the house, I think they live in the walls. My Xbox is missing so are the paper towels and all the toilet paper, gone.
 

I'm betting sloths is a fine swimmer using that spinning fur to propel thru the undercurrents.
 

effortlessly...
 

gree c, you's cracking me up
 

I know I don't have a say in these matters but I nominate a seahorse with an ax in his head for mascot!
 

Oh my god! Team Shredder will soon have to be bowing down. Your basement situation, including Sandy, and your extreme surfboard look way cooler than any wave pool in Arizona! Are the edges or walls of the pool thingy supposed to be bent logs-?
The Norf*kineasters are already conceptually light years ahead of any old Team Shredder.
My advice? Bust out the unicycle and unitard for practice. Wear the mirror vest at all times. Eat Trader Joe's Ahi jerky and beer for lunch, leftover pizza of course for breakfast. Take the team to the drive-in in Jersey in the Jammy Jar with 2 shopping bags full of snax. Litter freely inside the Jammy Jar. Spend quality time strategising with the team on the couch while watching Boston Legal, The Sopranos, and occaisionally an old surf movie, the choadier the better. Don't forget about Medium, Surface, and 24. Get a wetsuit.
 

I sprained my twachtman attempting the below depicted move. I am blogging from the emergency room. Gree C., I like the way you write.

Hi Capt'n. Snax. Enough said.
 

Good of you to notice the round logs capt'n. Our classic Norwegian bent wood wave pool reflect the
"we will concure nature no matter what" philosophy of the Norf*kneasters
 

We're off to "teach", 'ave a nice day mien droogs.
 

Corndoggy (your beach blanket bingo name) Have a good day with the clients. Don't forget to throttle them.

Capt'n, the Team is a tough act to follow, but we have been having strategy meetings about it and we are confident about our chances. So if you can't beat us...please join us!!!
 

corny, I am typing to you from undersea, and the view from down here is deeeeee-vine! All undulating kelps and blowfish and sea monsters. I'm practicing my mascot duties like the solo synchronized swimming, and keeping my eyes peeled like little grapes for your surfbus... I will grab the safety bar & hoist meself aboard when the time comes. You gonna pimp it out with a mega-amped sound system? 'Cuz it looks big enough for some serious dork-dancing...
 

Please count me in on the dork-dancing. It is a symptom of my illness.
 

Dork dancing and now the new post post modern moves of spaz dancing are all the rage in Bikini Bottom.
 

sloth it sounds nice and dreamy down there. I love sea monsters, they're the most interesting people
 

My bikini bottom rages 24-7. Another symptom.
 

Does anyone remember a show called The Seamonsters?? I loved it.
 

corny, is your giant surfboard spaz-accessible? Will it lower down with a big *hissss* like a city bus?
 

vapor eyes, are you referring to "Sigmund and the Sea Monsters?"
 

http://www.70slivekidvid.com/satsm.htm
 

I just went to Johnny Whitaker's website and it made me want to cry.
 

YES!! Sigmund and the Seamonsters! Thank you Slothy.
 

OMG, thanks for the link. Poor Johnny. But I loved Sigmund.
 

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