Wednesday, March 29, 2006

 
Witness the parade of lady cakes who have come to celebrate our belated 30th birthday today. They are the free and easy avatars of joy whose pompous lower regions are proportionate to the cheerfulness (I.E. the slitting of wrists) they bring, Please give them a warm reception because tonight we will plung candles into their skirts and set them ablaze!

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Check out this awsome card from slothy, thanks man! I love it, it's a masterpiece
 
Goddamned Blogger, sucking the jelly straight the hell out of my donut. That link only seems to work on Safari, wont work on explorer or firefox...
 
No jelly, Corny. Can't see the link. But if it's from Sloth--it must be genius.
 
These ladies are making me hungry.
 
It is Pd, it's genius. You'll just have to trust me on that. Yes, these ladies make me hungry too, or is that violence coursing thru the vains. I often mistake hunger pains for sociopathic outbursts
 
They are one in the same, hunger and violence. Don't make me flex my encyclopedic knowledge. This southern belle on the lower left has got me craving sweets and a blood chaser.
 
I understand Pd, she is extremely beautiful.
 
she has a fontanelle that gives and gives
 
Ah, the fontanelle....very funny.
These ladies remind me of Designing Women.
 
I LOVED that show Pd, Delta Burke was a hunk
 
I bring you Grapenuts and blood for the first meal of your next year on earth.
 
Corny, this leaves me elated with happiness for another year of you that we get to partake in. The density of lovely ladycakes is a rightful blessing in the mouth of Corny girl. Corny will get lit on fire, she will burn in the confectionary delight of tomorrow, today. Praise be to the leader of many, the arm-in-cow Goddess, the surveyor of the loop, the emanatrix of powerful oily waters.

Happy Birthday, Corny!!!
 
I am on my knees, mouth open, ready to recieve the blessing of the lady cakes who are now gliding up my spine, they are ready for ingress. Thanks MM. My mission on this lonely planet is only to serve you. Arm in cow. Goddess bless ye.
 
Sprinkles on your head and in your ladycake-stuffed mouth. The sprinkles are made of neurotransmitters and taste like lemon curd. This is a special changeling of matter that is happening for you. Will you be wearing a hoop skirt today in honor of yourself?
 
This is the most important day of the year MM, you better believe I'm dressed up, or down if you will! I like to celebrate my birthday in my birthday suit. It's a big baggy at the moment, but what could be more apropo?
 
Happy birthday!

Indulge in some Johnnie Walker shots to ameliorate your Dandy Walker syndrome.

-michael b
 
Corns--is it really your birthday? 'Cause I got Delta over here and she wants to come over and give you some ladycake too.
 
The truth is enormous hoop skirts are so 2005
 
Thanks michael, I think that will be no problem. we're a bit hung over from last night so a bit-o-the Jonny walker sndrome would complement my bowl of grapenuts and blood nicely.
 
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Delta, get over here you big galoot!
 
Why Corny, you devil! I am shining my tiara for you right now. That'll all I'll be sportin' if you catch my meaning, dollface.
 
Well I never! This repulses me more than a wealthy oil mogul keeping a mistress in the recently decorated apartment! You have not heard the last of Julia Sugarbaker!!
 
Julia, calm down. Ain't no biggy.
 
Delta, Julia, I luv all ya'll en, and I'ms a fix'n to shows it!
 
But especially you delta, i gots a hanker'n for your hoecake
 
I'm always up for a hoedown. Can my assistant, Anthony, come along.
 
gots to go start my new life as a yogi this morning. Like a junebug stranded on a Grapenuts mountain in a world of blood, I need something to cling to.
 
anthony is always invited, he can opperate the camera
 
Good luck with the Yogi, Corny. Make sure you pack a picnic basket and say hi to Boo-boo for me.
 
Juice boxes for everybody!
I enjoy how the previous occipital bossing has blossomed into lumbar/sacroilliac bossing in honor of your special day. If I were there I'd sing you "Your Special Day," written by The Mrs.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CORNY!
 
Several weeks ago when I was getting several of the many, many birthday requests from Corny, she designed her own cake. It involved a two peaked mountain, a waterfall and many clowns. I did my test run the other night and baked 5 cakes. I stacked them up and was going to carve out a mountain. Before I was able to get my knife out, Corny had shoved her fist down the center and was betting me that she was the only person I knew who had fisted a cake. Through her oohing and ahhing, I wondered if this was true. Todays poll topic: Has anyone else ever fisted a cake? and would it be inappropriate for me to get her a Lady Cake to do the same? Please advise.

The Mrs.
 
I fisted many cakes in my day. The first being a carrot cake. Unfortunaetley the carrot cake was not interested in my kind, but it wasn't so cad. Now I only fist cakes--many of them the ladycake variety. It is much easier than the
usual. I don't know Corny well, but obviously this post was a hint of some sort. A ladycake will be very appropriate. She must wash the green goo off her fist first.
 
HB from the FB!
 
Yes dear Gene I think she must clean her fists of all green, clear or sludge colored goo before any fisting will ensue. You must possibly also tie the other fist behind her back? Maybe some Corny treats for after she's finished? Some jerky to chew on?
 
The ladycakes remind me of those Christian Lacroix puff skirts from the 80's. Have thrown all 80's fashion out of my closet. Getting rid of all clothes that will not help me get laid. No offense to the ladies.
 
First of all there was no "fisting" there was an insertion, an exploration if you will. Honey, some things are private...k?
 
Thanks FB.

Dunkin, I think I know that carrot cake, it's all dry and crumbley like? The lady cakes are only here for a few more hours so I should go be with them, they're a jolly bunch and smarter then they look, the skirt hides a big brain, surprisingly they're really into math too!
 
She's too young to get Corny Treats,MM, but I will look into the jerky.

These ladies look a tad delicate for a fist. Perhaps try to use a toe and see what happens.
 
I don't know, gene tierney, the blonde one looks like she just wrapped up a raucous session of getting fisted.
 
I mean her head's on backwards for fuck's sake, and that fuckmop otherwise known as her hair.....
 
lol, thanks capt'n. You bring the briney smell of the ocean to my blog
 
lol...and that fuckmop otherwise known as her hair and that fuckmop otherwise known as her hair and that fuckmop otherwise known as her hair and that fuckmop otherwise known as her hair and that fuckmop otherwise known as her hair and that fuckmop otherwise known as her hair and that fuckmop otherwise known as her hair...

capt'n. This one's a keeper, I will try to work it into as many conversations as possible tomorrow
 
whoa you guys are being way too mean to the ladies. I thought this blog was lady friendly.
 
I like ladies, whatever their parts. I'm more ready to harsh on Mr. Clean.
 
Oh kelli, I LUV the ladies! No one's dissing! I'd party with the blonde one any day. You know you would, too. She looks like a good time party girl, way more fun than the other prudes. I was just esplainin' to the people that she is an empowered lady who knows how to take life by the bullhorns.
 
ok capt'n, but no disrespect to the ladies or their cakey bits
 
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