Saturday, March 25, 2006

 
Report From the Breaking news Desk

I love shit like this. Some artist out there is having a lot of fun with the Catholic church.
Direct your curser over this sentence and press down on your gentle mouse to be scandalized.

Comments:
Warning: Jesus is so angry about this disgrace that he produces what sounds to me like a thunderclap whenever this link is opened.
 
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
I had a Faux Finishing job at the Peninsula hotel on 55th and 5th, we marbelized the lobby until it was so hidiously ugly we were going blind from it, our crew was angry and bored with the job and began imbedding secret messeges in the marble like, "fuck you motherfucker", and "kiss my ass you stupid asshole". Not that creative, but VERY satisfying
 
I'm pretty sure I saw "puss-licking assclown" cloaked in that marble.
 
I went to Catholic schools until college and I saw many puss-licking assclowns.
 
From the look of todays missal, catholic school sounds like fun, was your childhood a string of satanic orgies? It would explain a lot Pd.
 
Why, yes misty mountain cock, it was an endless string of satanic orgies. Of course I know my way around a pitchfork by now.
 
Look Catholics are notoriously bad graphic designers. I don't think they know a swastika from a confederate flag.
 
What about the word SEX so subtley hidden on the lower right of Todays Missal? They don't know Sex from a satanic orgy.
 
feeling your way through a satanic orgy with a picthfork, was this a gym class or
physics?
 
Yeah! What about SEX?? It's about time the Catholics had some.
Satanic orgies, by the way, do not involve sex, really. Everyone gathers around the fires of Hell, see, and they toast marshmellows and tell stories about the first time they ALMOST had sex. The person who has the steamiest story wins, and gets a pitchfork up the ass.
 
Corns, gym class never involved a pitchfork, unless it was of the strap-on variety.
 
Horns of Death to thee, thou venom mouthed bat-fowling rot!
 
calm down alistar c, last time I stuck a pitchfork up your ass I didn't see you complaining.
 
Right pd, the strap on variety, it goes on your forehead, easy to
attach and remove with velcrow stap attachments... I think they sell them at EMS. Gotta get me one.
 
Oh my god Corns, I just remembered my gym teacher was named Miss Carney. I think we called her Corny behind her back. Anyway, she doubled as the sex ed teacher, which just involved showing films. She really couldn't speak about it all, you know. And trying to put a condom on a pitchfork--very touchy procedure.
 
Hilarious! EMS. A pitchfork for those weekend expeditions.
 
I buy all my toys at EMS. Those who are in the know call it Extreme Masturbatory Supplies. Lots of fun with fleece!
 
Okay Pd, I want you to sit down and breath deep. My high school gym teachers name -I kid you not, was Ms.Woodcock.
She was sadistic. She had a yellow jeep named Tweety and a black motorcycle named Sylvester. One time before fieldhockey practice she purposely spilled her change purse out under tweety and we had to get down on our knees in the parking lot to pick up her loose change from under the jeep.
 
swastikas are actually a very old image as everybody knows embedded in the floors of many old cathedrals. I have Alistair Crowley's birthday Oct. 12. Thelemites celebrate it as a holiday. Because of him not me.
for all your pitchfork needs: www.medicaltoys.com highly recomended but personally I prefer www.valueacupuncture.com
 
I don't know where I end and the fleece begins
 
STOP Corny! You're killing me over here. You are telling me lies--WOODCOCK? Tweety and Sylvester? I just spit out my Jack Daniels.
 
Thank you for the Links kelli, I will be maxing out my credit card shortly.
If you have a traditional Thelemite birthday celebration this year, I'll be the first one there.
 
Pd, it's all true. We got out of practice early on Wednesdays because that was Ms. Woodcocks bowling night. I couldn't believe this woman lived in westchester
 
I'm going to google search her

please hold
 
Yes, Kelli I especially like the Percussion Play and Sharp Objects.
 
afraid of any google search under "woodcocks"
 
I found a Ms. Woodcock who is a dermatoligist in MA., and she sounds very reasonable regarding facility design.

"Ms. Woodcock says that while one's office must be appealing, "One doesn't need a $1 million sculpture" in the lobby."
 
half of that stuff is cheaper on valueacupuncture. no pitchforks though.
 
Well, was your Ms. Woodcock staring at the student's pimply asses? Maybe she was a skin doctor at heart.
 
Point taken pd, or make that 3 points jabbing my once scrawny and pimpely rump region.
 
Oh I meant the other students Corny.

I must go do the humdrum life things before going to the studio. Like get some food in the home.

See ya.
 
Pdiddy, kelli, Mistycockweasel, I GTG. The refinery is looking like Mrs Havershams dining room.
 
Ouch, right in my eye!
 
Hi guys. Frogs is late to the game and has not checked any links. I saw something about Jesus and Ms. Woodcock, pitchforks, gym class...to say the least I am fogbound. I am bound at the mouth and hands by a thick soupy fog and sadly there is no getting free. The fogmaster is keeping me there through mind will exertions and my limpid tongue is stabbing the back of my throat, it is not sexual, I assure you. I miss being human, someone will come someday to de-Frog me. I love you all.
 
Defrog, defrock, delightful....hop on over, I'll kiss you.
 
Frogs with your polymorphous amphibian nature you are equally comfortable with land and water. don't de-frog a thing. you are perfection already.
 
Oh HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Oh my god, this is so excellent and relaxing, Corn! I went to the website for Rape of the Soul and clicked on "The Experts" hat to see who the world-renowned experts were, but it's taking too long to load. Who is the most hilarious person alive, I ask you?!!!! Mr. Rape of the Soul himself! For today anyway!
 
Oh tiny Frogs. Your miasma is swimming over hear and I fill your pain. I'm so sorry. Just to be sitting on your lilly pad. I can't bring myself to goo/go to the links bcause I have to practice español por mi trip in Aprril, and I have the attention span of a hermit crab. All the other squirts are making fun of me. I believe "Mrs. Woodcock" is well-known to be Dick Cheney's online name in the chat rooms where he goes to play.
 
Why is no one talking about the giant vagina that's part of the flowing robe?!
 
Yo, sup Z? You know, your right, the Catholic hippy is a giant vagina from the waist down. Also looks like shes passing a wee bit-o-gas. oops.
 
Is she blind? where have her eyes balls gone?
 
They're here, looking at stuff.
 
Hey Corns. I am back from my breakfast of shame. I had way too much freedom toast.
 
I answered your question on my blog--May 27th is the show in Hudson. Unfortunately it will be mostly my smaller paintings as the gallery is a little small. Will you still be teaching then?
 
PD, your show will be the ether apex, from there we will sink into the abyss. We cannot wait, large or small, we cannot wait for your paintings.
 
Thanks Frogs. I cannot wait to meet you...warts and all.
 
Whats crackalacken chickens? Flash, Mrs. Cub is coming home early from her trip to LA, as in a couple of hours and I've broken just about every nice thing we own. Should I hide broken objects or blame it on the stupid clumsey cat?
 
The cat did it. Pesky feline.
 
Thanks pd... the cats going to be in REALLY big trouble,
buckets-o-blood I'm talking here
 
... watch out corny you plays with fire your truthiness is mortar in house of cards
 
I am cuming for you. I am fate forseen
 
Corny...Mrs. Cub always says: Don't play ball in the house!
 
Aye. ye cat must be put to rest lassy.
 
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