Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Please allow me to pull my teeth out so you can get a better look. Tea stains give the gang a golden tan, blood from gums trickling down over the endangered species make them ultra poignant. It's ok to cry.

Corny, be very glad that you did not end up with jesus or the virgin tooth stain. Catholics would be lining up around the block, waiting for you to drool on them with your miraculous spittle.
Did you paint these likenesses with your tongue or was there a small dwarf inside your mouth with great talent, inking away at your tooths? I am dazzled by the array, I may become Catholic anyway at Sloth's mention. I smell the skank of ritual on these teeth. What will you do with them?
painted with the tongue, obviously. I was thinking of having them surgicaly reattached to my gums but on extra long roots that attach to the bone so they can dangle freely for all the peops to see!
Slothy you bring up a good point. I am lucky there are no hoards of catholics asking for the sacrament of pennance. There are a bunch of choads huddled together outside waiting for me to appear so they can applaude the david letterman tooth.
Really liked being Catholic (the morbid romanticism and ritual) but got kicked out of Sunday school for asking stuff like "if Adam & Eve were the first people why are they depicted with belly buttons?". Still like Augustine.
The last Pope's letter to artists. Wierd to sit around writing letters to people.
today is Ash Wednesday... it always takes me by surprise, the sight of all of those people with that freaky cross on their foreheads. I like the ancient ritualness of it, and also the cult aspect is made apparent.
Corny, is the Letterman tooth animated? I want a Jon Stewart incisor.
Kelli, thanks for the link. Way to go, Pope! I like the 2nd para in "The artist and the common good" section, about the craving for empty glory and cheap popularity.
Oh yea, ash wednesday is so weird. last year i saw a cluster of christians ceremoniously promenading through the EV dressed in potato sack robes and carrying a big wood cross and some leaves. It was totally medieval and strange.
These retro culty catholics are cool, (except for the "fetus are people too" stuff) it's the new fangled christians that make me feel all slashy-stabby
I like it: our version of the Muslim public self-flagellation but without the gore, more like pretend dress-up. Like a Roualt painting.

I haven't seen the guy who drags the giant wooden cross down the street in quite a while. Maybe he was raptured or somethin.
Yah. Pod-people.
My mom implanted Jesus teeth in me at a very young age. She felt that since I had tooth decay, I was posessed by the Devil and needed to counter that with Holy Molars.
Listen to me you ungrateful brat....YOU WERE POSESSED BY EVIL I TELL YOU! You had 11 cavaties by the time you were 6! Who but the Devil himself coulda done that to you? You only had 12 teeth! Once the Jesus teeth were in--you were cured!
This blog is being taken over by senior citizens
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Thanks for the link kelli, I'll read it later it sounds amazing, like the Pope is sitting in my living room writing a description of ME! what with the "craving for empty glory and cheap popularity".
has anyone seen the Munch show? I'm keen on going this week or next.
As Sea Monkey often takes a stroll thru the Valley of the Broadcasting Molars, and now you've shown me these, I'm just now putting it all together. You must have been there doing research/painting landscapes when you found her, no?
These particular broadcasting molars will be exibited in the ABCN theme park in our Experimental Prototype Community Of Tomorrow or EPCOT center. The tooth shaped building will be the educational bosom of the park, broadcasting molars will deliver lectures on the hour.
I believe I first encountered seamonkee under the tires of my Humvee. She was a wee bit of squishy pulp and she made me love her
Corny, regarding the tooth danglers: if you pick up the molar on the end & swing it at the others, is the molar on the other end is knocked into action like the perpetual motion balls? What happens when you shake your head from side to side? I am thinking new ninja tool here.
Haven't seen the Munch yet corny, but am itchin' for it.
yes Slothy perpetual motion molars is exactly what I had in mind. It's a useful tool for hypnotizing the wizards and monied people. Later in the day I like to crack open a cold one, swing my head back and try to get the molar to land in the molar hole. It's a relaxing little game...
me too on Munch, can we go together durning your lunch brake from the beige?
or maybe a class trip with MM and ?
Oh that sounds too fun. Yes please!
lol the tooth-in-the hole game = people here are staring at me because I'm laughing my ass off.
Let them stare! *loud n'husky rosalind russell voice* Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!
I'm due at the refinery about now. Thank mein got theres no internet there. Have a good day at the beige. Or is that oximoronic?
Good luck with the refining, Corn Cub. I am forecasting gymnastical paint moves with slashing karate chops of brilliance.
just want to point out now that I remember boss reads this blog. computer is in studio. haven't seen friendly humans for days. giving cat new nicknames like jujitsu and miss chunksa.
Kelli, the Log cat has about 200 nicknames. It is my belief that the more multifaceted and loved the critter, the more the urge to lavish a million nicknames on same.
corny, the capn is coming to the town tomorrow to stay with Gree C.! You should go see the Munch show with her and ? or something! I'm so jealous I can't come there at the moment! Congrats on Book Two The Awakening, I'm so escited!
i am happy to read sloth that you were as startled (again this year) as I was to see the smears this morning. the mark of the zombie - aim here. i don't know how i will get home safely tonight.

corny, your toof game is a splendid dream. with the coors. i am thinking that if i had a mouth of celebrity danglers i could make all kinds of secret noise here at the beige. clack clack clack. although eating my skittles would be extra challenging. tooth or skittle?
it would be possible, depending on dangle length, to choke on one's own tooth. or at least induce gagging.
Pick me! Insert me in the dry sockets for maximum rainbow smile effect.
Yes FB. The root cords are long enough to allow teeth to be consumed and then perform healthy colon scrap before being ejected past the furry donut which cleans teeth-on-ropes like the rotating brushes at the carwash.
True, some people might get self concious with teath hanging out their ass but I say If looks could kill, they probably will in games without frontiers.
War without tears!
Tonight at the stroke of 6:00pm, at the sound of the cracking coors, we shall charge the dry sockets!
Here's hoping that Dick Cheney's dentures get passed through his ass.
Watch it Georgie--you might get splinters in your ass.
Pick the Hot Pocket with sausage!
Right in there! Smack in the hole! I'm with you!
All this talk of skittle chompers & ass teeth makes me want plastic surgery.
Here's hopin' that buckshot get's passed thru Cheney's ass.
ummm hiya sausage, wanna step inside?
To remove the teeth Kelli, or implant them? I wouldn't mind some ass chompers myself.
come'er and lay one on me George, taste the rainbow! splinters don't bother me, my gums are soft as twizlers
Georgie--I got some open wounds--please gimme some wooden kisses.
Ass chompers. fastinating. I love it!
wheres the clay?!?!
Rhonda--you were ahead of your time with the ass-bite.
please ma'ams, may I borry some dangle tooths to plug my big frontal fissure?
Oh David, David, David--you silly American! Celebrate the gap.
It's bigger than an NYC apartment.
isabella, if we put our gaps together we could rent that space for the big clams...
Mind the gap!
Isabella Rosellini once leaned over me in a subway car to look at the map. I almost fainted she was so gorgeous.
I was surprised to see her on the subway but it was raining real hard so I guess she had problems catching a cab.
slothy, that is the best star sighting ever. i think I would slide off my seat like a quivery puddle. I've seen 3 out of the 4 facts of life girls on differnt occations in LA

I must remain anonymous so wife doesn't bust me not being at the studio.
My friend sees her waiting in Chelsea stations all the time. Once she saw her with a guide dog for the blind--she trains them! She volunteers.
I think she is one of theee most beautiful women alive! With gap especially.
I once followed Helen Mirren up 23rd street just to see where she was headed....she went into the dollar store!
Little sister goes to the dollar store even though she works in IT.Bought a house when she was 26 but buys CVS shampoo. Not even Sauve. Glad somebody will have $$$ to take care of me when I get old & lose my ass teeth.
anonymous, I have absolutely NO IDEA who you are. your disguise is impenetrable.
You saw Tootie? Natalie??? Blair? who?
PD, poor Helen. She really has to nail better-paying gigs.
I like Helen and the dollar store--though I don't really get much except hardware store items for the studio.
What did Helen buy... a nice photo frame? an Activity Pad? party horns? what?
Slothy bol burst of laughter
god thats funny.
Still laughing about Helen and her activity book but first bol was about my impenetrable disguise
OH shit.
maybe should talk about joining a militia to throw people off. need better disguise.
there are certain dead givaways, dear corncub.
I think she bought the party horns. She is doing a sequel to Caligula.
yea, i've got itchy fingers that hit return lightening fast and regrettably mistakes are made. theres a good chance Mrs.C wont see this and I can get away with lying about having a productive studio day.
Your lobster sammy sounded amazing. I have a pound of fresh frozen crab meat in the freezer , maybe it'll work with crab?
everything works with crab you idiot!
Good star sighting, Sloth. I saw Al Sharpton at a Starbucks yesterday morning.
Pd sometimes you make me feel drunk. But i'm just sitting here "catching up on some work" so like it's really weird.
I'm sure it would be delish with the crab. Use really good bacon and a dipping sauce.
It's research for your painting Corny. I mean the facts of life, Isabella, Helen--all worthy subjects.
Well Corny, I am on a steady diet of Jack Daniels and Oxycontin--so my inebriation is contagious.
Thanks, I feel like Mr. Roger now leaving the play house. I got to button up my cardigan and beat it up to Grand Central fucken station to meet certain senior citizens for dinner.
YES to justifying blog time, PD
The cleaning lady with the killer vacuum is circling me here at beige. I can't stand it.
yes, like every child in america we too will be eating dinner at 6:30
and the teeth danglers. Definitely.
Early bird specials? Just don't go to Pre-Chew Carlie's Steak House.

Have a good dinnner.
I was anonymous.
Enjoy the sups, Corny. Order the lobster.
I think the place were going only serves soft food, but i'll see if they have a lobster BLT puree (sorry I know i'm spelling that wrong)
pre-chew charlies, Big bol
As long it's not one of those I-V joints.
no, you actually got it, minus the accent.
corny, your creative spelling is adorable, please don't change a hair.
Corny--I know you are on your way to the station....but I've got e few minutes left here and just wanted to type some more.

Don't order the Saline drip--it's too slow.
you might want to loan the seniors your fancy teeth to aid in mastication.
Ugh, i missed all the fun. i was really working. i am sad now. what was i thinking?
Me too. I am heart broken. You guys are so wonderful and funny, I think about you all the freaking time, every one of your kooky selves. I know, I know, the gladhanding, but wow. I am so happy to view your witty ridiculous improvisations. Especially at 2:30 am when I should be sleeping but am insomniac. It seems I have forgotten how to sleep, if anyone has a handbook I'd be REAL appreciative.

I was awake most of the night too, but I just lay in bed cursing and watching the minutes pass....
HA. I win.
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