A Blog Called Nowhere

Deelishous-looking. I would like to get me some backfat type bacon this instant, another inspirational moment courtesy of the Corns. There are no words to describe how those beans make me feel and hope for, sotoo are there no words to describe how you make me feel and hope for. See?
 

I haven't had breakfast yet...and this is looking real good to me--see?
 

Sorry I missed you last night at the opening.
 

Pd, me too... I missed you too Pd. That opening was short, I blinked and everyone was gone.
 

I am eating this all morning, over and over, in my mind. PD and Corny, you must meet.
 

I really want this food now. I must go out and find it. I have no beans in this house!!! I must fire the cook.
 

MM, my headache is getting worse and worse. I don't think all the beans in China could help. I was just reading the Militant Art Bitch's web site (or whatever she's called), it's good, I get here take on TammyB-T and what you we're saying, i think T-B-T is kinda ignorant (I don't mean that in a mean way) just young and still feeling like she's the center of the universe and nothing came before her... I wonder if she'll whistle a different tune in 5-10 years. Whatevs, who cares, my head hurts and its tammy Ben-Tors fault. Screw you TBT. Pass the Tylenol 3 please
 

Oh, wait, we haven't met? I thought I was dirty dancing with Pd at Medries afterpart. lol. I'm such an idiot. Who are you people?
 

Oh, that was you Corny? Wow.
"Nobody puts Corny in a corner!"
(please tell me you've seen Dirty Dancing)
 

Mrs.Cub is complaining of being a blog widow. I'd like to take a pole on who needs to get a life, me or her?
 

Her. definitely. Tell her I said so.
 

I am a bog widow.
 

I am a fogged window.
 

Thanks MM! I knew it,
Vindication at least!
 

Or last!
 

Her widowing is for a good cause. She should know that. Sorry to hear about your head. It is TBT's fault. She is young and insulting to other females and should be punished with ropes. She is playing a game, but maybe she is not fully aware of what the game is. I've had too many T3's and can't say any more. Pass the beans.
 

Now I have to think about Patrick Swayze?
Christ, I have a damn headache Pd, this image is getting confused with Tammy Ben-tor, I feel she is cornering me...
 

She is dry humping me in a corner and all I want is to eat my fry up.
 

Yeah, punish her with ropes... that slut's going DOWN!
 

I am dying over here, Corny.
 

Me too Pd, I am literally DYING, cell by cell, my body is oxidizing extra quick this AM.
 

I wish I can send you some oxy and Jack--it usually helps.
 

Mrs. Cub is strangeling my neck. I have to leave before I am killed. Thanks Pd, I will make my own Oxi using Clear Ammonia(non-sudsy)
Cigarette Lighter Fluid and Ziploc Baggies
 

swayze is a nice name. makes me tink of weeping willows, or very tall drunk people, but it could be some sickness of the skin, some itchy bumpy reddness( so-and-so's got the swayze something awful)
 

my brain shes a swayzing...
 

thing that floors me with TBT is the holocaust imagery. I wonder if people didn't get the no poetry after Auschwitz memo & there are plenty of recent genocides like Rwanda just sitting on the shelf. Either way it's an aspirational not subversive approach to master narrative. Not using the master's tools to tear down the master's house: loading up the u-haul, moving in & looking at fabric swatches.
 

Kelli, well freaking put. I think it was Jerry Saltz who compared her to Sarah Silverman - what do you think about that? I am waffling on my take on TBT. At first I wanted to think her flirtations with the dark side were provocative. But now am not so sure. I love the debate though. I also love coming back to this blog to look at eggsbacon and such. YUM.
 

Sarah Silverman+breakfast food=heaven. Nobody can touch Wertmuller's Seven Beauties for a vicious take on the master narrative imagery (there is a Bronzino painting in half the scenes) of fachism. If Wertmuller is a sadist TBT is like a police officer. I think a lot of people stop halfway.
 

kelli you are spot on about officer TBT and the stopping half way phenom. But what do you mean by her "taking the aspirational not subversive approach to master narrative".
I kinda get what you mean but feeling slow today...
I have to watch seven beauties to see what not stopping 1/2 way looks like. Thanks for doing much of the heavy lifting around here.
 

sorry, I get what you mean...
 

For some emulating ( or playing with in some incoherent "writing the body" way) the tropes of master narrative & tradition masquerades as subversion because of who they are ( i.e. female, non-white)and while inclusion might remedy the faults of an unfair system it is not really subversion. I think you have to go all the way. Don't want to sound mean though. Some people have a cop fetish. I just like sadists... and breakfast foods.
 

Wow. Very heavy heavy lifting. I like breakfast foods and sadists too. That's about all I can add. Thanx for being smart.
 

Kelli, I don't think I'm going to make it out of the house tonight...
 

i just ate three strawberry heart peeps.
 

I'm lost with this line of talk. But I do love the fry up.
 

kelli, that's a lot of ham for a couple o' eggs. do you ever turn it off?
 

i wish i could have turned it off. i would have gotten laid tonight if this shit came with a switch. typical
 

The "comments" section here is more sacharine than a "FULL HOUSE' script. I preferred it when the infighting was going on.

Oh, eggbeanchipandbacon or whatever the hell it's called is
BRILLIANT.
 

anonymous, i'll fight you anytime. punch you right in the bathing suit area. we can take it to the streets or make it a battle of the wits, you choose the turf. we can battle it out for a fry up.
 

anonymous, you are not reading closely, are you? you're missing the subtext.
 

What is the subtext?
 

Sorry anonymous, I missed the "Full House" episode where the bisexual smartypants tries to impress her way into the pants of the lesbian art star with her dazzlingly brilliant cultural critique.
 

is that better?
 

you missed the best episode
 

Anon, are you by any chance the same anon who was too scared to have comments on HIS blog for fear of the haters invading. I suspect it's you, and you got to CALM DOWN Girlfriend.
Second of all, I'm a lover not a fighter, and I love you too anon.
c) Did you catch the Full House episode where Mary-kate and ashley gang bang the angry anonymous blogger as angry anonymous blogger has visions of john stamos's tongue intertwined with his own. It was a riot.
 

Kelli, are you trying to dazzle your way into my pants with your brilliant cultural critique? I'd be disapointed by anything less then your best effort.
 

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 

Sheila, could u Email me at
Corncub42@hotmail.com and we'll talk
 

I don't venture outside of my own pleasantly corrupt community. I've noticed that I irritate a broad spectrum of people & have driven 2 people ( both straight men) to apoplectic rage in the last few days. Strange because half of what I say is a joke & I always bring hostess gifts to parties.
 

kelli, these men are not worthy.

Apoplectic rage could be funny on video if you overdub conniptions with barry manilow's mandy. Just saying inside ever drama theres a slapstick trying to get out.
 

Okay, these comments are cracking me up.
Did anyone see the Full House episode where one of the non-Olson twins drove a convertible through the kitchen wall?? Uh, oh, you guys were making that stuff up....
 

Kelli, not to be to sacharine...but I think you're swell.
 

I'm going to re-watch all the Full House episodes, it looks like I missed a lot. Thank goodness for subtext and angry twins.
 

set sticky traps for angry anony-mouses! then drown 'em - it's only humane.
 

pd, you made me snort up wine thru nose-holes.
 

Corny, EVERYTHING is better with Mandy...
 

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