Saturday, August 20, 2005



Is Tracey Emin pleased with the way she is represented in the The Little Artists show at the Walker Art Gallery?
" Tracey Emin has seen their version of her knickers strewn bed, and liked it."
However there are conflicting reports.
"Tracey loves her piece - apart from the pillows which came from a Harry Potter Lego set."
-The Gaurdian

A Blog Called Nowhere reached Ms. Emin just before she began her hunger strike protesting the inclusion of the offending pillow. "Celebrity artists constantly take this shit on the chin, but this chin is through taking shit on it"
How serious is this situation? A close friend of Ms. Emin told ABCN "Everythings a mess, she is refusing to bath, she has lost 3 stone and is perpetually hallucinating. She's been balled up in a corner for days now, occationally yelling out "huger then soup" and cursing, no one knows exactly what she means"

Meanwhile, Turner Prize-winning transvestite potter, Grayson Perry, in one of his trademark wacked-out doll outfits is pleased as punch with his toy representation.

How can there be 0 comments here? This is the funniest blog post I've ever seen in the history of blogdom (Possibly, in the history of written communication). My question is, "How is her hunger strike condition different from her regular everyday condition?" And what will this mean for the plummeting yba stock? And who WAS driving Dali's Car, Mick Karn or Peter Murphy?
a) My readers are carefully considering their responses and soon there will be an EXPLOSION of reactions.
b) Can't a girl simply be really skinny without being accused of having anorexia nervosa??? Geez, I mean, really.
c) Paul Nobel told me just the other day that British artists don't do anything well, but the scene seems to thrive. Maybe you're refering to Damian Hirst buying back all that work of his... Please blog at lenght about the fall of the YBA, anything you write will get re-published here.
d) They both drove Dalis Car straight into a wall, didn't they... (wow, I CAN"T believe you brought Dalis Car into the conversation, I think I love you)
d) (Isn't that what love is made of?) HaHa. Dalis Car. Ahh. The fullness of despair. Fond memories. Yeah. I don't know why it felt so right to slip them in there. It was like I was writing lyrics for the first REM or Obituary records. The actual words didn't matter. It was all about texture.
c) Just an intuitive notion. Somewhat generated by Hirst's show. Ugh. I had to go into LFL TWICE the day I saw it to shake it out of my system. But also there was that book that came out that ripped it apart. I really don't know what the hell I'm talking about, but now I want to follow my nose. This I know. The confusion has become boring and predictable.
b) HaHa again, but just to be clear, when I referred to her condition I was thinking more about the refusal to bathe and the hallucinating.
a) Exploding readers. Excellent.
c) I will call you ART SHARK for your senses are keenly aware. Intuition: putting together facts subconciously. I have the same intuition about British art but sometimes intuition might also simply be a wish.
Do you know the name of the book that rips Hirst?
c) That's one of the nicest things anybody's ever called me. My gills making that funny noise. I don't know the name of the book but I'm pretty sure that I can figure it out. I started to poke around last night but to no avail. Work will be one long crushing blow today, so tonight I'll hit it. I am equally curious.
Thank you Anonymous, That is some pretty heady stuff!

Heart, try rubbing some ordinary candle wax on those gill hinges, it works for me everytime.
HaHa. Color me rubbed and waxed. Here's the book: High Art Lite: British Art in the 1990s (Verso, 1999) by Julian Stallabrass. And here's an interview with Stallabrass on artnet.
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