A Blog Called Nowhere

2007-08-25T19:34:00.000-04:00

PEACE OUT
I've grown a pair of handsom wings and it's time to jet on outta here. The truth is I'm having miserable separation anxiety about ending ABCN. It was fun gamboling about the ether to find Team Shredder and the Norf*ckneasters, and here's a final salute to Boadweeblog. It's been swell having a daily writing practice, lame though it may be. I'll try to keep that up through my free verse poetry, quatrains and of course poison ink letters to various evil concerns. Right now I am a broken crown of sorrow remembering happier times.

Check out the archives from 2005-2006, ABCN's golden years and here are two good sources of articles and essays to browse through, The Tate Papers and The Directory of Open access Journals.

Perhaps I'll post occasionally in the future (but dont bother checking back here regularly).

2007-08-21T22:10:00.001-04:00

Dame Laura Knight

I blame The Rhode Island School of Design for my deficient, male-centric, lame-ass art education and the fact I didn't know of this artist until now.

Two people called me today to read this essay in the London Review of Books by Terry Castle because it is funny as fuck but mostly because I get mentioned in it.

Terry and her 81 year old mother set out for Santa Fe on an "Artistic Pilgrimage".

"My mother, 81 and widowed for 12 years, is lame, near-sighted, psoriatic and deaf, and apart from a residual compulsion to lament her elder daughter’s unfeminine appearance, has largely reverted in old age to a state of Blakean innocence and moral simplicity. (Little Lamb – you rackety old thing – who did make thee? I have some questions I’d like to ask Him.) True: ravages of macular degeneration notwithstanding, she still spends an hour every morning ‘putting her face on’, with predictably fantastical, Isak Dinesen-like results."

The essay hinges on a visit to the Georgia O’Keeffe Museum.

"The museum is a set of blocky adobe buildings just off the historic Santa Fe Plaza. Predictably it’s packed out, almost entirely with women. (The one or two men standing around in their Teva sandals look sheepish if not a bit anxious – like errant hunters in a Renaissance painting who’ve blundered into a sacred grove and see a troop of maenads coming to rip their guts out.) I get heavily cruised by the butch German number running the ticket counter"
Castle mentions Dame Laura Knight when her girlfriend challenges her to name ten female artists of the 20th century who are better than O’Keeffe.

"Agnes M. (natch), Popova, Goncharova, Sonia Delaunay, Hannah Höch, Eva Hesse, ummm . . . Living artists aren’t permitted, or photographers, so, gosh, Louise Bourgeois and Imogen Cunningham and Berenice Abbott and Kiki Smith and Cecily Brown and Marlene Dumas and Ida Applebroog and scores of others get knocked out at a stroke .... If only Kandinsky or Andy Warhol had been a woman."

But who is this dame painter lady anyways? In conclusion, what's up with the big saggy dirigible painting? Woah! And that rainbow landscape...

2007-08-08T20:10:00.001-04:00

Have pink pouty lips, and flotation devices, will travel! My summer tan is prime and we're ready to head up to Maine for 2 weeks of RnR. This time we'll have our own house courtesy of Marion Boulton Stroud of the Fabric Workshop in Philadelphia. She runs a "camp" for peops in the arts community (except dealers) on Mount Desert Island which happens to be where Mrs. Cub's family is. Also joining us is a Brother of Cub and his wife Julia Pistor and one of their awesome kids [Here's Brother of Cub II with his awesome kid] Enjoy the dog days my friends.

2007-07-31T19:30:00.000-04:00

SETS OF THREE BOOKS

1. The Decadent Traveller, The Decadent Gardener and The Decadent Cookbook, By Durian gray and Madlar Lucan. Durian and Madlar have dedicated their lives to decadence and write about the lifestyle with humor and aplomb -thats right, aplomb. I was never interested in cooking before I was introduced to the bizarre manner in which they violate of the laws of food.

For those who scorn not only the Prohibitions of Leviticus but also the dictates of common sense, good health and kindness to animals." -John Ryle in The Guardian

The chapter headings say it all: Corruption and Decay;Blood, the Vital Ingredient; The Gastronomic Mausoleum; and I can Recommend the Poodle. This is not a normal cookbook but a slightly sinister and highly literate feast of decadent writing on food. -The Sunday Times

2. Phillip Pullman's trilogy, His Dark Materials. Dear gentle reader please don't oblige me pull out your eyes and make you to read this book by force, just do it. READ IT BEFORE THE MOVIE (STARRING NICOLE KIDMAN) COMES OUT IN DECEMBER! This is ace Sci-fi/fantasy literature recommended to me by Mrs. Cub. The story takes place across the multiverse, quantum physics and philosophic ideas and allegory are woven through-out. The trilogy was featured last summer on NPR's All Things Considered, check out the review here. The movie will, no doubt, be spectacular, but it can never capture the profound depth of the relationships and the scope of the story in the books. One of the books features the most heartbreaking scene I've ever read. It wrecked me, left me crying. I've never cried over a book before. I read His Dark Material over a year ago, and still resonates with me. Here is a list of awards His Dark Materials have won.

Winner of the Carnegie Medal (England)
Winner of the Guardian Fiction Prize (England)
An ALA Notable Book
An ALA Top Ten Best Book for Young Adults
A Horn Book Fanfare Honor Book
A Bulletin of the Center for Children’s Books Blue Ribbon book
A Publishers Weekly Best Book of the Year
A Booklist Editors’ Choice – “Top of the List”
A Book-of-the-Month Club Main Selection A Children’s ABBY Honor Book

3.The Patrick Melrose trilogy by Edward St Aubyn, Never Mind, Bad News, Some Hope, published collectively in the UK as Some Hope: A Trilogy. Recommended by Seamonkee, AKA Laure Weeks, who doesn't often suggest books, but when she does, I obey. The protagonist, Partick is an arrogant and consummate snob, he turns his razor sharp wit on the vapid aristocracy he runs with. The books reflects St. Aubyns life, he was "born well" but raped by his father and became a heroin addict at a young age. Bad News opens in the Pierre Hotel, Patrick is out of his mind on heroin. It's down hill from here. The books are hilarious and moving.

"St. Aubyn's vaguely satanic British upper-class life is an unlikely blend of Henry James and Bret Easton Ellis." Kirkus Reviews

2007-07-27T19:09:00.000-04:00

Cat related posts.

1. Oscar the cat seems to have an uncanny knack for predicting when nursing home patients are going to die, by curling up next to them during their final hours. His accuracy, observed in 25 cases, has led the staff to call family members once he has chosen someone. It usually means the patient has less than four hours to live. "He doesn't make too many mistakes. He seems to understand when patients are about to die," Dr. David Dosa said in an interview. He describes the phenomenon in a poignant essay in the New England Journal of Medicine

2. Robocat -I posted this last year but I assure you, it's worth revisiting

3. Elaine Paige my ex-shrink has that hair.

4. Cats/Oklahoma style, by Cave Spring Hights Elementary, Ok.

2007-07-24T09:58:00.000-04:00

Five pics from California

More pics (warning: they're mostly of George)

2007-07-16T19:14:00.001-04:00

Nights in San Fransisco (2 in Stinson beach) beginning tomorrow night. We'll see you when we get back on Monday.

Meanwhile, here is an interview with Elvira Bach, a contemporary of Georg Baselitz, Jörg Immendorff, Rainer Fetting, Markus Lüpertz and Helmut middendorff -a precursor to Katherine Burnhardt? She was one of the few women artists who successfully established herself in that nutty circle of testosterone driven painters; "the Neue Wilden". Thanks to Mr. Boadwee who reminded me of her work.

"These male networks: when it comes down to it, men are brought up to form teams. " -Elvira Bach

2007-07-14T10:12:00.000-04:00

We interupt the Countdown to Oblivion to bring you this video with extreme cutes -it brings to mind this mental pabulum: Once a month I drive Foghorn up to the Bronx to 33rd and Bird for a grooming; could he fly forward inside the car without ever hitting the front windshield if I was driving the same speed he was flying?

2007-07-11T09:31:00.000-04:00

FIRST THIS:
Dangerous Made-In-China Products: 2007 Timeline

THEN THIS:

A wagish young dear tick has penetrated my delicate vale of alabaster and introduced poison into my blood!

Consequently, I am two small men about to be crushed by a truck

I am a broken highway.

I am severed limbs. It doesn't matter if you don't believe me.

I am a Doo Tone record lable

I am Stony Pit disease, worse even.

I am Albert Einstein, the robot, bowing down to his German creators

2007-07-03T10:01:00.000-04:00

for today:

1. Are you like most people, bored of the old Seven Wonders of the world? There are only three days left to cast your vote to replace them with the new Seven Wonders.

2. Disney figures Americans won't know how to pronounce Ratatouille so they spell it out phonetically on their website under the title. Rat-a-too-ee is a great animation. You'll find more musing about the role of artists and critics in society then you usually get in a kids movie. I've liked most of the past Pixar films but the rave review last week in The Times really got my attention.

“Ratatouille” is a nearly flawless piece of popular art, as well as one of the most persuasive portraits of an artist ever committed to film.

3. Giornale Nuovo continues to be one of my favorite art blogs. Check out their archives, dig around a little and you'll come up with something unexpected. The author of the blog is an Englishman who has lived in Rome and presently lives in Sweden. The entries are scholarly and often the posts illuminate obscure corners of art history. I suggest going to the archive which is listed by subject and browse around. I guarantee you'll find some wonderful arcane bit-o-honey.

4. "Stripped of my clothes, I climbed into a tree", so begins A night of love in Lesbos. Some sneaky person from 1960 traveled forward in time and did a first person play by play of our life at The Mounds. read more about it here

5. Glore Psychiatric Museum

6.Acoustic Radars

7. Feminist Science Fiction featuring separatist societies

2007-06-28T08:48:00.000-04:00

Look at this Neo Rauch. He has replaced his usual aimless zombie people with clowns, and to great effect. I've always said to myself, "Corny, that guy is good, but he needs to LIGHTEN UP, afterall, this isn't 1982, the wall is down, bro, get yourself some cheesey fries and relax!

After I do some good hard thinking about Neo Rauch and how times have changed, I like to sit back and enjoy a cold one in the back yard. The thing is, now the sun is in the front of the house in the evenings. Blimey! So I found an old bench upstate and a cement donkey planter, et voila! an urban oasis -forged out of the barren cement wasteland that was the front yard of The Mounds!

But there's a problem.... I might be scared to go outside. There is a lady, Teressa, the big Italian lady-boss of Powers Street. She's an oldish woman who sports housecoats and strechy pants, grew up on Powers Street and is the center of the Powers Street social scene. Her kids all live in different houses on our block, they're always gathering outside her place, I suppose it's nice for them. I began saying hello to Teressa a couple of months ago when I'd take George out for early morning walks. Teressa would bless her when I walked by. Soon we started to chat and then she invited me into her little front yard area to sit. I didn't want to be rude, but I also didn't want to sit in her area. I like the idea of being friends with the neighbors, but if we started talking, I would have to reveal that I was raising George with another woman and I could envision her old school Italian Catholic disgust. As I knew she would, she asked about George's birth and I explained that I was adopting her. It was awkward, though she said that George was still a blessing, (Thanks). I've complicated matters by not mentioning the fact I'm adopting her with Mrs. Cub, who gave birth to her. So lately I've been avoiding Teressa. I head out in the opposite direction for our morning walk, going three blocks out of my way for a cup of Gimme Coffee. I know I need to tell Teressa and let her judge me as she will....Maybe it won't be so bad, George is cute and always smiles at her, after all, she's is a blessing for fucks sake.

2007-06-24T23:39:00.000-04:00

stands for the extra number of hours a day I will eat, paint and hang out doing stuff on the new "wakefulness drug" that got FDA approval last Monday. Take it and you don't get fatigued, even after days without sleep. No side affects -and it improves your memory to boot. Thats 3400 bonus hours of awake time a year, or 136,000 more hours if I live another 40 years. Thats an extra 15 years of livin'! Dont tell me it's too late to pick up the Rumiphon or the Symphonium or the Fluba! Read more about the pill that will change my life for the longer here at this blog. Here's a helpful chat board guide to getting it cheap on the web and how it mixes with your favorite party drug.

2007-06-18T20:07:00.000-04:00

stands for the 10,000 years (or less) since god created Adam and the dinosaurs. Now there is a 27 million dollar museum to prove it! The Creation Museum which contends to be based in science, opened in Kentucky with protesters at hand and protesters protesting the protesters.
Concieved by people who get epileptic when they hear the words "radiocarbon dating", this museum -dispite being increadibly misleading and damaging to the brain's of young visitors who are taught that the creation of the world as told in Genesis is factually correct and that dinosaurs didn't survive because there wasn't enough room on the arc, has really cool animatronic displays of man and dinosaur living together, just like in Land of the Lost!

This is what the museums designer, Patrick Marsh, formerly from Universal Studios in LA had to say, "as for scientists, so much of what they believe is pretty fuzzy about life and its origins."
A reporter collegue of mine from the Gardian Newspaper out of london went on a visit and asked Marsh about early human fossilized remains.

"There are no such things. Humans are basically as you see them today. Those skeletons they've found, what's the word? ... they could have been deformed, diseased or something. I've seen people like that running round the streets of New York."

Apparently the scene of Eve being created from adams rib is realistic and parents are warned that children may be scared. Or scarred. Either way, it begs for a road trip with a stop over to nearby Big Bone Lick state park near Beaverlick KT. But why, Mister The-Flintstones-Is-A-Reality-Show, if you believe in the bible, do you need to prove it with science? Ok?

The best response to this travisty is from This Week in Science the totally excellent podcast out of UC Davis. They're hoasting a contest to make a billboard to announce the opening of the new Unicorn Museum across the street from the Creation Museum. Enter your Billboard design at their website. Scroll down to june 8th for deets.
Here are some pics

2007-06-10T09:09:00.000-04:00

Amazingly I didn't get kicked out of France for having a french accent that causes escargot to shrivel up in pain.

Seamonkee and heir Tyson were there as well as Leo, Torbin Geiler, and my amazing in laws, Roxanna and Danny Geffen, and of course George and Mrs. Cub, who I picked up at the airport the morning before the opening. Seeing them walk through the arrivals gate was one of the happiest moments dans ma vie.

We spent time at the Musée du Quai Branly, an astounding collection of indigenous art, and a highlight of the trip. The museum is designed by Jean Nouvel, the same guy who did the Cartier Foundation and is the namesake of Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt. Apparently Brad is a fan of his work. Ok? Get over it.
We liked the building from the outside, hidden behind a wild garden of tall grasses and thick climbing vines that cover some of the walls of the building, but inside was a strange dark maze of leather walls, you feel like you are entering the heart of darkness, We thought the jungle metaphor was overdone, condescending really. However the objects glow in the darkness and beauty is stressed over back story. Most amazing to me were elaborately decorated skulls from Papua New Guinea. The head was thought to be the container of the soul, so skulls of ancestors were preserved, cleaned, then overmodelled and painted in the image of the deceased, sometimes decorated with beads and stuff, they reminded us of Damien Hirsts newest bit of soul searching art, except with a disturbing beauty and depth that arises out of the awe of the mystery of death unlike Hirst's decidedly choadish attitude "Death is such a heavy subject, it would be good to make something that laughed in the face of it.” Right.

We spent a day wandering through the ancient Eqyptian collection at the Louvre, it was a friggen parade of famous masterpieces that really blew us apart. We did this with Seamonkee and Tyson, fun as it is to look at art with them -Tyson having recieved a real education in Britian, actually knows her history and is a trove of insight, Seamonkee is in a perpetual state of wonder that is completely infectious, Seamonkee immediatly got caught up by some ancient Egyptian knick-knack for 20 minutes and I'm like, this is the LOUVRE man, there's like a jillion ancient egyptian knick-knacks! George was getting antsy being strapped into the stroller which becomes a rolling babytorcherchair after a few hours, so we parted ways, only to hook up with our compadries a day later for drinks in Mountmartre, followed by more drinks in the swanky 8th Arrondissement and a dinner of beef tartar on bun, meant to be a hamburger.

What else? We shopped for clothing for George, we visited the Eiffel tower, the Tuileries, the Luxenbourg gardens, but most magical and a must see next time you visit paris is the Parc des Buttes-Chaumont in the 19 Arrondissement. Built in the 19th century, mountains of garbage were transformed into surreal English-style gardens, featuring a large rocky cliff with a suspension foot bridge 100 feet high just begging people to jump off it, a waterfall, a grotto, and a Roman-style temple to top it all off. Torbin and I learnt that Leo has a serious fear of hights, The big guy's legs buckled under him as we walked out on to the high bridge, he made it across but was practically crawling back. Sad, yet kinda funny.

Another interesting stop was to the Deyrolle, a strange shop on the rue du Bac that sells taxadermy 'n stuff. Downstairs is a quaint garden shop -I bought a yellow canvas hat, très provencial chic, upstairs they've got animals and bird stuffed and for sale. Taking taxadermy to the edge of acceptability, they had stuffed chicks, baby bunnies and a little black lamb which was REALLY pushing it. Generally shopping was good but expensive with the dollar in it's weakened state. I bought music boxes for George including this sweet little tune from the magic flute and other french songs which are familiar to me from probabley from listening to this album when I was a wee bit, which by the way is great if you have a little kid, download it for free here. I also like the German album, theres a demented song about a lady who marries a mouse.

This wasn't much of a food trip since eating dinner at 9pm every night with a baby in tow was tricky, but lunches at the museum were lavish 2 hour long wine drenched affairs with cigarette breaks every half hour, for this and crepes complet, we thank the French.

Check out some pics from Paris, some of them come courtesy of Tyson and Seamonkee.

This was a longer post because I'm going to end the blog soon and I'm already feeling nostolgic. A large and complex countdown-to-the-end will begin next week.

2007-05-27T10:17:00.000-04:00

The Revolution is cuming! Hi. What do Maurice Chevalier, Marcel Marceau and Corny C. all have in common? A love of French Clichés! Hopefully we'll encounter all of them on our trip to Paris. I'm off today to set up a show at Le Pleateau, Frac ile-de-france. The Mrs and George will be coming later in the week. I'll be checking in, of course, from the city of love all week. Au revoir, mes amis!

2007-05-25T23:30:00.000-04:00

Congratulations to bread, the champion of all food.

Bread, it refuses to lose.

2007-05-21T22:20:00.000-04:00

Summer time is almost here so we're gaining weight as fast as possible and growing out our body hair STAT. Here's inspiration if, dear unfortunate reader, you are still being beaten senseless by the old paradigm of fit waxed bodies with zero body fat.

Hippie Goddess
Bare Necessities Travel and Tourism
Who are the Naturalists?
These look like nice people

2007-05-18T11:14:00.000-04:00

Paintings from the upstate institutional.
4 paintings of Nicolas the model
1 paintingof a volcano in a storm
1 paintingof a path through the woods in a field
1 painting of tinfoil on a clothes line.

2007-05-16T18:12:00.000-04:00

Paint went out of my studio window and landed on the roof of a black Escalade that belongs to Joey Butafucco. I got into some troubs today and have to pay this guy to get his car rewaxed.

In other news, have you been watching SHEER GENIUS on Bravo? Only the best tee-vee show about hairdressing ever. Sally Hershberger, I say yes. One might think she'd be a bitch but she's a pussycat. We love that shes a big old dyke who rolled into town demanding 600.00$ a cut, declairing herself top dog in a industry ruled by fags, where lesbians are the bottom of the food chain, that took balls. The highlight of every episode is when the guest celebrity hair stylist is introduced and all the contestants freak out and you're like hu, thats a celebrity?

2007-05-11T22:21:00.000-04:00

For Mrs. Cub on her birthday, an ode to mothers and daughters.

2007-05-09T20:37:00.000-04:00

ABCN correspondent PAUL RAMIREZ JONAS has alerted us to the invention of a very satisifying little animation by artist Felix Gmelin of the 5 ugliest faces in the National Gallery morphing into each other. Please go now and you see it. Hit link for "Other Works"

2007-05-06T20:04:00.000-04:00

DRAWERS NYC

This is called Made in Taiwan because it's covered with dozens of little stickers that say that.

2007-05-04T08:30:00.000-04:00

Scientists Found What They are Calling Super Earth!

Gliese 581, a planet 20 light years away seems to have all the right components to have water and possibley a life sustaining atmosphere. Dimitar Sasselov of the Harvard-Smithsonian Center for Astrophysics, who studies the structure and formation of planets, said he suspected that this planet could be even more congenial for life than Earth. We're thinking the people who live there are twice as big and healthy?

The planet was discovered by the European Southern Observatory’s telescope in La Silla, Chile, which has a special instrument that splits light to find wobbles in different wave lengths. Those wobbles reveal the existence of other worlds.

Until now, all 220 planets astronomers have found outside our solar system have had the “Goldilocks problem.” They’ve been too hot, too cold or just plain too big and gaseous, like uninhabitable Jupiter.

The planet is 14 times closer to the star it orbits. Dr. Udry (the lead author of a paper describing the discovery that has been submitted to the Journal of Astrophysics & Astronomy) figures the red dwarf star would hang in the sky at a size 20 times larger than our moon. NICE! And it’s likely, but still not known, that the planet doesn’t rotate, so one side would always be sunlit and the other dark ("night people" can live on one side and morning people on the other). Anyone sitting on the planet would get heavier quickly, and birthdays would add up fast since it orbits its star every 13 days. Gravity is 1.6 times as strong as Earth’s so a 150-pound person would feel like 240 pounds. That would be a problem, but if we wore giant balloon shoes it might make up for the extra gravity.

2007-05-01T21:09:00.000-04:00

Foghorn and Goody B Wiseman collaboration

2007-05-01T07:51:00.000-04:00

We are Big Wheeling it to the upstate institution today with a stabby little hangover from the gallon of beer I drank at the Mets game last night. Shea stadium is fun, it's so small and cute, it was kinda like going to a minor league game. The Mets made alot of lame-ass errors against the Marlins who scored 5 runs in the 3rd, and that was pretty much that. Next week, the YANKS!

2007-04-29T08:24:00.000-04:00

a man who knows whats hot recomends
SOULWAX/2 MANY DJS

Have a good sunday everyone. We're checking out the Go Fly a Kite Festival with Junior -who today, has the look of an abused child. She punched herself in the face making two deep bloody scratches that go across her nose and cheek, just in time for a home visit from a social worker tomorrow. We have to submit to a home visit as part of my adopting her. We've put a lamp shade over the 5 foot bong and took the topless picture of Kylie down, that should do it.

2007-04-25T11:27:00.000-04:00

2007-04-22T19:53:00.000-04:00

Keith, you're probably the only other person who could give a shit about this, so this post goes out to you. Also congrats on your show! at the Queen's Nails Annex (in San Francisco)

The princes of Arcadia reunited for an acoustic set 4/16.

2007-04-19T22:35:00.000-04:00

New York artist, fashion illustrator sweeps into Milton
Warhol contemporary’s life is a rich tapestry

By Molly Albertson Cape Gazette staff

Like the breezes of serendipity that carried Forrest Gump into famous world events, chance brought artist Nadja Merino Kalfel (Corncub's Great and beloved Aunt) of New York City into scenes from history books.
The 95- year- old artist (!) inspired Andy Warhol’s soup can paintings, educated Steven Spielberg on surviving the holocaust for “ Schindler’s List,” and sketched fashion illustrations for Vogue Magazine and The New York Times in the 1960s.

( She worked with Antonie de Paris during the 60s and the duo created the beehive hair style. Merino designed it and Paris made it a reality.)

Merino Kalfel is much like Gump she’s been all over the world and is happy to tell about it and share her sketchbooks of scenes. But she is a refreshing, nonfiction character whose experiences took place in the real world. (I've been sworn to secrecy and since I know my family lurks around ABCN I cant get into the really juicy stuff) Chance, or what she calls following her intuition, landed her in Vienna, Paris, and New York.
Merz is displaying works, including oil and watercolor paintings, pastels, illustrations, and six sculptures. Many of the works are about 50 years old, Merz said.
“ Artists live a different life than others, on a whole separate plane up here,” Merz said, gesturing high in the air.
“ The way we stumble through life, artists are really living it,” he said.
Merino- Kalfel was born in Vienna, Austria, where she attended art school until she moved to Paris to continue her fine art education. During World War II, she was working as a fashion illustrator in Paris, but after the Nazis occupied the city, she got a job with (had an affair with the Chilean embassador) consulate. There, she helped countless families, including her own, escape Europe. Eventually, she moved to New York and established herself as an illustrator. That’s where she became the senior illustrator for the New York Times. It’s also where she had coffee with Warhol, who at the time drew purses and shoes for fashion plates.
“ I said, ‘ Why don’t you develop your art?’ I pointed to the left to an exhibit of soup cans at the café, and he agreed,” she said. Merino Kalfel said she later realized he took her comments to heart and painted the now famous Campbell’s soup can.
At that time, she drew women in high style fashions and make-up and hair products. She worked for several large companies, including Revlon and Saks Fifth Avenue in addition to sketching for Vogue Magazine. She was the first person to sketch a beehive hairstyle, later adopted by women all over the world as the most fashionable look of the era.
Merino- Kalfel’s work trans-forms the Federal Street Gallery/Espresso bar into a time capsule of high style from the 1950s and 1960s that captures how woman wanted to live, and look in that era. Eerily, the paintings still portray the sought- after glamour and glitz that still fuel the imagination of women today.

more about her show and the beehive hair style here

I dont have a picture of her to post but this is the general idea--------------->Nadja's cigarette of choice

2007-04-15T01:04:00.000-04:00

Joining the Parade of Feminist Art Shows

Kylie's throwing the supra-human organic force of her radiating labial forms into the ring with a show at the Victoria and Albert Museum

The show looks at Kylie Minogue -a long time lover of glass doors and walls, as a popular style icon. Organized around 3 themes, Identities, Emotions and Gold Lamé Hotpants, expect to see female-identified crafts like Bedazzeling, Accessories and Video!

Also Entrances. This is the most astonishing entrance in the history of humans being ejected out of giant CD players. (see video below)

2007-04-12T20:35:00.000-04:00

Embark on an Intimate Journey

The Secret Place is not just a listening experience, it is a journey of soaking worship. It is a place of intimacy with the father, a place where the heart longs for his touch, his soaking, deeply intimate touch.

Do you desire a deeper, harder, more alive relationship with the father, yet find that you are blocked? I will help you expose and begin to be healed of these "stuck" places in your life. I propose to become unstuck by massive group convelesence. All gentle readers are welcome to join me, we can do it in our own beds, together!

2007-04-10T20:42:00.000-04:00

Urgent News Flash: Unlikely Friends!

In a zoo in California, a mother tiger gave birth to triplet tiger cubs. Unfortunately, due to complications the cubs died shortly after birth. The mother tiger recovered from the delivery but then started to decline in health, the tigress fell into a depression. The doctors decided that if Mama Tig could surrogate another mother's cubs, perhaps she would improve. After checking with other zoos across the country, they found that there were no tiger cubs to introduce to the mourning mother. The only orphans that could be found were a litter of ham loafs. The zoo keepers wrapped the loafs in tiger skin and placed them around the mother tiger. The rest is history my friends...

2007-04-08T18:52:00.000-04:00

Thank you K8 Hardy for bringing No Bra to Brooklyn. Readers of ABCN may remember our reporting on the genius of Munchausen ("the ultimate Eurotrash anthem") last April.

Priceless lines include: "I caught syphilis once in Top Shop", "I organised a radical picnic with Kathleen Hanna", "Ethiopians are like Germans dipped in chocolate", "My uncle designed the anal staircase", and the classic "I was cremated once".

Listen here
Pictures courtesy of indomitable A.L. Steiner

2007-04-06T09:32:00.000-04:00

I am extremely relaxed today and taking it easy on my curvy chaise. Nothing can stop me from taking it easy , certainly not the fact I must make my annual (re: anal) visit to the tax man today. This is me relaxing on my curvy chaise after the taxman has done his work shoving a large ream of rolled up goverment forms up my bunt cake. Mmmm, that really hits the spot.

2007-04-02T14:55:00.000-04:00

Dear fellow Americans,
I've finally rejoined you in our country, America and for this I am really glad. I sort of enjoyed my outting to Zurich but mostly not. Zurich is rich and clean and wrong in subtle and entertaining -if you're with friends who have a sense of humor, ways. The trip got good when Leo, Seamonkee and herr Tyson showed up. We had some laughs sneezing chunks of spatzle out our noses at art dinners and the highlight was a trip to Alsace to see the Gruenwald alter. My staunch and trusted confrere, Seamonkee and I contnuing the TV series in our heads which kicked off in Edinburgh a few years back, History on the Move! More on this later.

Here are some picks

2007-03-21T22:54:00.000-04:00

Why is this Swiss girl doing an egg dance? I'll know more about this and whats at the bottom of the fondue pot when I return. xoxox

PS Check out this nutfest on Artnet.

2007-03-20T13:42:00.000-04:00

A NEW suprise guest to the Land of The Lost is my PASSPORT! I was suposed to leave for Zurich today to begin installing a show at the Kunsthall but it seems this trip will be delayed a couple of days. I am very angry at my old passport. If you see it please stab and victimize it. We look forward to welcoming New Passport into our life!

2007-03-16T11:30:00.000-04:00

Carrying George the baby around has taken a giant toll on my back, so I'm looking for art projects I can do from the bed. Ideas so far:

Foot opperated bed loom
Glue nail clippings and ribbon to cardboard box for Baby's Keepsakes.
Lean cuisine box bags
Using cut pubic hair to make Victorian style broaches.
Chinese style hats out of newspaper from Foghorns cage

As an invalid, walking is no longer my issue but getting around in the snow is, so my first craft project from a prostrate position will be to make one of these out of cardboard and hotglue------------------------>

Thats all.

2007-03-14T23:41:00.000-04:00

Salvaged from the bottom of a sticky trash can underneath the AS IF YOU DIDN"T KNOW desk:

Attention men

The world’s best-known usability expert, Jakob Nielsen, conducted eyetracking research, the results help editors improve the effectiveness of news article design. In his tests he found that men stare at men's crotches more then women do. Also this:

"Men tend to fixate more on areas of private anatomy on animals as well, as evidenced when users were directed to browse the American Kennel Club site."

link

2007-03-12T20:23:00.000-04:00

We watched the movie The Prestigue the other night, it was about a magician who made clones of himself and killed them to perform a magic act. It REALLY sucked except for that it got me thinking about what I would do if I had some clones of myself, especially if the clones were subservient which would make them more like zombie-clones which would be great! I would never wash a brush again and there would be one of me just for errands. The rest of us would start a naked folk dancing troupe.

2007-03-10T14:48:00.000-05:00

*Please to turn up the volume

2007-03-07T20:16:00.000-05:00

"Trim strings to appropriate lengths for tampon earrings, about 1 and 1/2 inches"

2007-03-06T21:15:00.000-05:00

We would like to share with you our observations about George the baby. She has the flatulence of an ordinary old man but goes about like a certain impressive old woman. Remarkable I'd say.

2007-03-03T00:27:00.000-05:00

Have you ever make something that makes perfect sense at the time but then you have no clue whatsoever what the hell you could possibly -even given your diminished brain capacity because of no sleep for the past month, is unacceptable- have been thinking?

2007-03-01T19:15:00.000-05:00

A tribute to Team shredder who has outdone themselfs with this posting of Marie Osmond performing a Dadaist sound poem

2007-02-28T22:41:00.000-05:00

Stirring Pictorial Essay

2007-02-26T11:28:00.000-05:00

Homies on the west coast, check it:
New Girls Network
There are a few important codes of ethics in the contemporary art world. They tend to go unspoken, but everyone knows them. Among these are the edicts that you shouldn't curate your own work, and you should be very careful about curating the work of close friends and partners, past or present. Shared Women, a major group exhibition opening this Wednesday at LACE (Los Angeles Contemporary Exhibitions), kicks those rules to the curb. There is certainly a tongue-in-cheek element to this organizing principle, as manifest in curators A.L. Steiner, Emily Roysdon, and Eve Fowler's description of Shared Women as 'an exhibition that is dependent on cronyism, feminism, and nepotism.' While this type of insider trading has gone a long way in establishing the members of many an 'old boys network,' the practice's recontextualization from a feminist perspective formulates what the organizers call a 'dirty commerce' which is truly predicated on collaboration, support, and the constructive critique necessary for growth in the art world. Needless to say, the esteemed curators included themselves in this show, along with several strongly emerging artists, including Amy Adler, Chicks On Speed, Ginger Brooks Takahashi, JD Samson, K8 Hardy, Kathe Burkhart, Leidy Churchman, Stanya Kahn & Harry Dodge, Tara Mateik, Ulrike Mueller, and others--many of whom take up extant tools, ideologies, and objects in new, media-specific ways. - Marisa Olson

LOS ANGELES CONTEMPORARY EXHIBITIONS
6522 Hollywood Boulevard LA OPENING tonight! 2/28
Curated by A.L. Steiner, Emily Roysdon and Eve Fowler
Featuring works by: A.K. Burns, A.L. Steiner, Amy Adler, Ashley Reid, Carrie Moyer, Celeste Dupuy-Spencer, Chicks On Speed, Daphne Fitzpatrick, Deborah Schamoni, Edie Fake & Dewayne Slightweight, Ellie Murphy, Emily Roysdon, Erika Vogt, Eve Fowler, GB Jones, Ginger Brooks Takahashi, Goody-B Wiseman, Heather Cassils, James Tsang, JD Samson, Jeanine Oleson, Jennifer Reeves & M.M. Serra, K8 Hardy, Kathe Burkhart, Leidy Churchman, Lindsay Brant, Lisi Raskin & Aaron Brewer, Marriage, Math Bass, Michelle Dizon, Nicola Tyson, Nicole Eisenman, Paige Gratland, robbinschilds, Shannon Ebner, Sharon Hayes, Shelia Pepe, Stanya Kahn & Harry Dodge, Suzanne Wright, Taisha Paggett, Tara Mateik, The Third Leg and Ulrike Miller.

2007-02-26T09:21:00.000-05:00

BBC News **FLASH** Mice in tennis balls! In related yet unrelated news, ABCN is taking up a collection to get this guy a tennis ball with A/C

2007-02-25T10:16:00.000-05:00

Some highlights from a quick trip to The Forest yesterday.
Huang Yong Ping
David LaChapelle
Daniel Buren (!)
Rachel Harrison
Justin Lieberman's family sitting around his confrence table discussing Judy Chicago's Dinner Party.
What did everyone see this weekend? What did you like? Did you need to use wepons at any point?

2007-02-23T08:36:00.000-05:00

A few things we spotted last night at the Armory, Linda Benglis 1969 "fallen Painting". Carol Dunham makes great drawings though we couldn't care less about his painting. Albert Olhen, (click on the collage to see it bigger). What we think is a brilliant new Rachel Harrison although it doesnt look like any kind of Rachel Harrison we've seen before, it was at the Greene Neftali booth. Dr. Laurie Weeks and Greg Bogin hanging out at the Leo Koenig booth in front of a beautiful Wendy White painting and sculpture (!)

2007-02-20T08:20:00.000-05:00

GIRL MONSTER IS JUST THE BEGINNING OF RE-WRITING MUSICAL HISTORY!

There are 3 cds worth of genius music here, 2/3 of the 60 songs on these cds are new and unreleased, this is a fucken brilliant collection, get it! Boadwee, I mean you!

The Triple CD compilation GIRL MONSTER Volume 1

Chicks On Speed Records celebrates the re-written history and future of womens creative audio outputs, to further invent and challenge the future of music and push the boundaries of sound and pop around the world!!!

GIRL MONSTER tells a rich historical story, from the original girl monsters of punk and post punk to contemporary tricksters and electro-rock pranksters

Female heroes of the late 70ies and early 80ies like The Slits, The Raincoats or Malaria! appear alongside contemporary classics like Björk, Le Tigre, Peaches or Chicks On Speed. But what sets the compilation apart from all the other compilations around the topic of Women and Music is that it is not just a collection of what everybody knows already, packaged under the misleading slogan of Women in Rock, instead this compilation creates a movement of its own

Download some tracks from Myspace

2007-02-17T09:43:00.000-05:00

Warrior Kites Behind the Dancer's Mask

Q: When should I begin Aerobicizing my soul?

A: When the foreign aria of your flesh becames atonally grotesque mostly.

2007-02-13T18:33:00.000-05:00

Things that would help:
Pool therapy
ritual winter dance
liquor parade
Surgery party

2007-02-10T16:47:00.000-05:00

Like night and day or like day and day?

Frida was impailed by a pole in a bus accident, I was bending over to clean the cat litter, the common donominator here is the nightmare of having a body. I have been shuffling around The Mounds for a week now, stoically keeping my pain secret inside the prison house of myself, but the ills that flesh is heir to demand to be heard. The vail of wellness, Lifted!

Lumbar: Fuck Fuck Fuck, Ouchy!

There are a lot of problems with this pitiful body, but the nettle in my bramble, the thorn in my thong if you will, is reoccuring lower back pain. I would not throw away the opportunity to get it replaced with a bionic back or a doric collum like Frida here.

2007-02-08T12:53:00.000-05:00

Ruh-row... (click here for links)

2007-02-07T17:48:00.000-05:00

Astronauts and Diapers: Spacewalking astronauts wear large, absorbent diapers called Maximum Absorption Garments (MAG) to collect urine and feces while in a spacesuit. It is the finest and most absorbent diaper ever made! The astronaut disposes the MAG when the spacewalk is over and he/she gets dressed in regular work clothes.

2007-02-03T21:48:00.000-05:00

Sorry about the news black out, George (aka Crazy Porkchop) is home and playing the cute card to her full advantage. I miss everyone! Thanks for all the sweet comments on the last post... My camera broke as I was trying to upload a picture of her to post last night, so that'll have to wait till we get a chance to buy a new camera which will be sometime in the next millenia.

2007-01-25T21:36:00.000-05:00

British prog rock band extrodinare Gentle Giant played no small part in my musical development. Older brother of the Corn turned me onto this insane but AMAZING band in 198something, we went to a GG concert, me with the trademark Gentle Giant mask painted on the back of my army jacket, that was as close as I'll get in this life to absolute happiness. I loved this band and was a "completest" by the time I graduated High School. No, I didn't have a lot of friends in High School. Check out this video from a 1974 concert. This is a favorite GG album available on Amzon.

2007-01-24T11:17:00.000-05:00

Someone needs to appropraite this french fry cluster for a painting, Someone in the abstract camp. WW, PD, Sillman? Or maybe I'll do it under my nom de plume, Kimba Midore Luxardo.

2007-01-22T10:56:00.000-05:00

Grab your ragwort stems kids, today we're going to fly under the rainbow to visit a land where people of peace live. Pay special attention to the close up shot of the fairy at the bottom, fairy girl breasts come in at a very early age. Young fairy girls are also prone to cold sores which make them look slutty and worn out.

2007-01-19T09:40:00.000-05:00

* * * Snow? Is that really you?*

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2007-01-18T09:20:00.000-05:00

Check out baodawee blog today.

2007-01-16T22:08:00.000-05:00

Can you handle the nerdiest blog post of all time? I love a good fountain pen, My brand of choice is the Pelikan Souveran 200m or 400m with a medium or fine gold nib, (pictured above) The body is transparent so you know if it's running low, and most important, they draw easily if kept clean. I've had mine for like 7 years and it's broken in beautifully, meaning the nib wears down at just the right angle to how you hold it. It's easy to get sucked into the world of fountain pens, the ultimate nerd collectable right up there with stamps (unfortunately, I collect those too).
I like the look of these pens but can't justify spending the money.

check out this maki-e, the most expensive pen money can buy at 12,000.00$

It's kind of amazing that in this day and age someone is actually making a disposable fountain pen. Pilot Varsity work great for 1.75$ each and you can get them at most stationary stores. I think you can refill them too if you pull the nib off with a plier.

2007-01-15T09:07:00.000-05:00

The L word has never been worse, still we watch it the way we would be compelled to watch an Olivia Crusise ship keel over and slip under a glimmering caribbean horizon. Last night we found that Jenny now has a light British accent which was confusing but we came to accept it. Bette has begun her new job at CU and is working to "make the art program better then RISD and Yale", we appreciate the effort at realism, but will CU (actually spelled See-You) be able to rise to the occation? Seems all the students and faculty are lesbians behaving badly, encluding Sybil Shepherd's character, Dean Bloat-ox. They've even addressed the “diversity” issue in season 4, providing Kit with a bronze sheen that gives her the appearence of a Native American AND a black lady! Our friend Anne Stevenson has suggested that Shane's hair get a spin off show, we agree and are working on a pitch to Ilene Chaiken that encludes a participitory drinking game (participant will down a Jägerita everytime there is shameless product placement for Apple computers). Most exciting to our L Word study group was the introduction of the real life L Elements (pronounced "Lelements") line of prét a porte featuring the Dana cancer jeans which have pink ribbon stiching, "limited edition, unlimited hope." Right.

2007-01-13T15:41:00.000-05:00

Blasting from the past! John Baldessari's Untitled (The Thinker), 1958

Woah. Did everyone read this article in the Times about the lastest thoughts on Free Will?

A bevy of experiments in recent years suggest that the conscious mind is like a monkey riding a tiger of subconscious decisions and actions in progress, frantically making up stories about being in control. -NYT More

2007-01-11T09:17:00.000-05:00

Who doesn't love a bit-o Nordic royal pageantry? Our question is how do the pimples know to emerge when they don their robes? more

2007-01-08T23:05:00.000-05:00

Heres a little shopping tip for Ms. Carluccio. PS thanks for everything!

2007-01-08T13:13:00.000-05:00

Jump into the worm hole with me and lets travel back to 1987... heres a mural I made in collaboration with a few friends when I was a young buck at It was located in the "Tap Room" our on campus bar. I just found it on Brian Kane's Blog. It's spray paint and stencils, we gassed the hell out of ourselfs making this monster. Good times. See it bigger and better at brian's blog

2007-01-05T15:24:00.000-05:00

Although his first love will always be dentistry, Foghorn's intrest now lies in building maintaince. The housing unit he supervises has six units, a deck and a large roof area. The former tenants were beer bottles but they've been evicted and well, properly disposed of. Foghorn, or Mr.Roper as we will refer to him for now on, spends his days moving from unit to unit inspecting the interior walls, his area of expertise lies in fixing holes by making them bigger mostly. He is pictured below scrutinizing the underside of the deck for possible repair work.

2007-01-03T10:30:00.000-05:00

'Be off!' say Winter's snows..." by Victor Hugo

"Be off!" say Winter's snows; "Now it's my turn to sing!" So, startled, quivering, Not daring to oppose

(Our fortitude grows dim in The face of a Quos ego), Away, my songs, must we go Before those virile women!

Rain. We are forced to fly, Everywhere, utterly. End of the comedy. Come, swallows, it's good-bye.

Wind, sleet. The branches sway, Writhing their stunted limbs, And off the white smoke swims Across the heavens' gray.

A pallid yellow lingers Over the chilly dale. My keyhole blows a gale Onto my frozen fingers.

It seems Winter's snows are no longer so bossy now are they! Infact they are all together lacking. It's a shame cause I've got this great winter outfit ready to wear

2006-12-31T18:13:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year everybody, I hope this one is better than all the others. I am vowing to sit up straighter, floss more (I know thats a popular one so I'm thinking I will get alot of support from my friends on this which might make it EZier) and take up face yoga. PS, Love this Capt'n! Also CONGRATUFUCKENLAIONS to A.L. Steiner's unbefuckenlievable review by Roberta Smith in Fridays NYTimes!!! I'll reprint it here shortly! Love you Steiner.

2006-12-27T23:02:00.000-05:00

2006-12-27T10:34:00.000-05:00

For your consideration

"A giant hand raises an impressive paintbrush into the sky at the entrance to the art village. The bronze sculpture outside the gates of Dafen in southern China leaves no visitor in doubt as to what the people do here."

2006-12-19T19:48:00.000-05:00

A.L. Steiner 1 Million Photos, 1 Euro Each (minimum order)
Two weeks left!!! See it now, the SEXIEST ROOM IN NEW YORK CITY is up until January 6th, 2006 at John Connelly Presents.

Capital: abstract entity that consensus reality has agreed shall be the Ultimate Power, charged with determining each human's worth and destiny, as well as decreeing where, how, and under what circumstances, if any, imagination, emotion, curiosity, creativity, critical thinking, and the exploration of consciousness A) exist at all; or B) have value if acknowledged to exist; and C) who will have access to them in those moments when they officially exist with value; and D) under what guidelines and restrictions approved practitioners will be able to indulge imagination, creativity, curiosity, et al, and toward what ends. —Dr. Laurie Weeks, I Went to Find Some Kunst and All I Got Was This Lousy Kapital

In the space between capital- filthy lucre, piles of cash, call it what you will--and the Object, lies the relationship between Maker of Thing and Consumer of Thing. Though this relationship is largely invisible because it vibrates at a wavelength no longer detectable by the modern, well-trained human sensorium, it’s nonetheless fraught, seething, and thermonuclear in its power precisely by virtue of remaining unconscious and unacknowledged. A.L. Steiner’s 1 Million Photos, 1 Euro Each (minimum order) is being offered at John Connelly Presents, an installation delineating the collection of 1,000,000 photographic objects. Items are purchased, traded, displayed, shared, valued, and exploited; artists act as fabricators, collectors as heirs. In order to redefine this relationship beyond purchasing power, Steiner frames the absurd impulses of both photography and consumerism as a contractual commitment, offering an evolving life-long installation & interpersonal relationship at a cost of only ¤1,000,000. An archive of 1,000,000 photos will be offered piecemeal throughout the lifetime of the artist and collector in order to define the act of storytelling via the capitalist relationship. Defining the role of the collector as a privileged position, the artist offers dialogue, evolution and the availability of a continuous, pulsating photographic record- in totality- until the end comes. Look at the works as aesthetic and also as a record that bleeds beyond image, well into the weight of history. Do all things possess actuality, existence and essence in both life and death? Perhaps nowhere than In the relationship between Maker and Consumer--with all its chaotic longings, losses, petty thieveries, paranoia, inappropriate crushes, gratuitous double-crossings, stalkings, gossip, and just generalized pandemonium (resulting from confusion about the Nature of Reality and perhaps an unfortunate choice of shoes)--can we more clearly see the entire tragedy of the Human Condition being played out. In real time.1 We all have good intentions, but with strings attached.
1 Dr. Weeks, Bloodbath in a Dewdrop

2006-12-18T20:05:00.000-05:00

Medrie MacPhee and I are driving upstate for the last time this morning. My clients this semester ruled the school. It was a dream class, I'll post pics of some of the wall drawings we made around the institution. I'm so proud of them... I've been doing this for 3 years now and this is the first class I've actually ENJOYED and LOOKED forward to. Peace out little art bunnies, you were awsome.

2006-12-17T18:32:00.000-05:00

how to figure out when to wake up in the morning, how to ascertain what presents to get for Kwanzaa, how to tell what not to wear, how to decide what wine to buy, how to be sure what movie to see, how to recognize a face lift on a 40 year old wowan, how to tell which art shows to see, how to deal with the holiday party circut you were not invited to deal with, how know when to begin thinking about possibley being healthy, how to figure out how to cope, how to decide what the next move is, how to know what to paint, how recognize the friendly ghosts, how to weigh your options, how to identify the enemy, how to figure out who to punch ...

By oracles, Theomancy; by the Bible, Bibliomancy; by ghosts, Psychomancy; by crystal gazing, Crystallomancy; by shadows or manes, Sciomancy; by appearances in the air, Aeromancy, Chaomancy; by the stars at birth, Genethliacs; by meteors, Meteoromancy; by winds, Austromancy; by sacrificial appearances, Aruspicy (or Haruspicy), Hieromancy, Hieroscopy; by the entrails of animals sacrificed, Extispicy, Hieromancy; by the entrails of a human sacrifice, Anthropomancy; by the entrails of fishes, Ichthyomancy; by sacrificial fire, Pyromancy; by red-hot iron, Sideromancy; by smoke from the altar, Capnomancy; by mice, Myomancy; by birds, Orniscopy[obs3], Ornithomancy; by a cock picking up grains, Alectryomancy (or Alectromancy); by fishes, Ophiomancy; by herbs, Botanomancy; by water, Hydromancy; by fountains, Pegomancy; by a wand, Rhabdomancy; by dough of cakes, Crithomancy; by meal, Aleuromancy, Alphitomancy; by salt, Halomancy; by dice, Cleromancy; by arrows, Belomancy; by a balanced hatchet, Axinomancy; by a balanced sieve, Coscinomancy; by a suspended ring, Dactyliomancy; by dots made at random on paper, Geomancy; by precious stones, Lithomancy; by pebbles, Pessomancy; by pebbles drawn from a heap, Psephomancy; by mirrors, Catoptromancy; by writings in ashes, Tephramancy; by dreams, Oneiromancy; by the hand, Palmistry, Chiromancy; by nails reflecting the sun's rays, Onychomancy; by finger rings, Dactylomancy; by numbers, Arithmancy; by drawing lots, Sortilege; by passages in books, Stichomancy; by the letters forming the name of the person, Onomancy, Nomancy; by the features, Anthroposcopy; by the mode of laughing, Geloscopy; by ventriloquism, Gastromancy; by walking in a circle, Gyromancy; by dropping melted wax into water, Ceromancy; by currents, Bletonism; by the color and peculiarities of wine, Oenomancy.

2006-12-14T20:57:00.000-05:00

This is what's happening, I was asked to do a show at the Kunsthalle Zurich, (tell your Zurichian friends), it's a pretty massive space. Even coming close to the genius of this Sarah Lucas installation won't be easy, but I'm beginning to amass work for it, 250ish borrowed works to start with then a few new ones. The show will open this April and then travel to to Paris to Frac Ile-de-France le Plateau . There could be a destination in Vienna... working on it. In any case, that's the skinny and part of the reason we've been away from the blog... that and Mrs. Cub, a.k.a. The Meatball, is needing A LOT of attention right now and is pushing to shut this blog down which frankly wouldn't be so bad since it's like totally transparent whats been going on here, the emperors new elephant in the room is out of the bag, I really have nothing to say!

2006-12-11T22:57:00.000-05:00

All aboard ABCN's visual omnibus of The Bodys relationship to bumps and the vincture of lumpage

2006-12-10T19:39:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Grammy Master B for sending us the genius music of Jobriath.

Introduced in 1973, Jobriath became rock's first openly gay performer. His flat-out declaration of homosexuality was brazen considering the era: The world was ready for the likes of David Bowie and Marc Bolan, who coyly dangled their possible proclivities. Even Lou Reed's assessment of himself as "a male chauvinist bisexual" was open to interpretation. But the finality of Jobriath's announcement--"I'm a true fairy"--left nothing to the imagination.
-Steve Gdula, The Advocate

Morrissey oversaw Jobriths first CD reissue in 04, It's a great CD, also worth checking out is Luke Haines newest CD, Off My Rocker at the Art School Bop, recently reviewed on Boadwee Blog
Free Jobriath mp3's
make sure to check out
heartbeat
Ooh la la
Dietrich/Fondyke

2006-12-05T23:05:00.000-05:00

A small visual disquisition on heads...

2006-12-03T21:28:00.000-05:00

Last night at the Pluto opening I looked around me and realized not only are my friends talented but they are all, across the board, SHIT HOT. Or make that HOT SHIT, either way...

you kids rule!

2006-12-01T09:18:00.000-05:00

Check it.
The Norf*ckeneasters Surf Club entered the world stage in the fall of last year. It's been a rollicking ride down gods inner thigh ever since. No, we don't "surf' exactly, but in the metaphorical sense, if you know what I'm talking about. The Norf*ckeneasters met each other through Jennifer Coats. Here's what we have in common, a sense of wonder at the possibilities of "curating" the internet via blogs. We've spent a year online with a handful of friends, entertaining ourselves and fellow bloggers. Baroque and often perverse narratives develop in the comment boxes, which are themselves a daily store house of wanton ideas, business models, self help, debauched lingual orgies, a virtual compendium of lateral thinking. Bonds were established - jump cut to one year later - recently we got together and painted six way collaborative paintings. It sounds like a disaster right? You are wrong, my friend! The paintings we made together are brilliant little provocative gems that some collectors are fighting over (with axes) as we talk. Although the collaborative works look like they were produced in asylums, I assure you we are all all free individuals, also, none of us live with our parents. While the art world is busy eating itself alive, the Norf*ckeneasters are dedicated to play and to the marginalized form of six way collaborative painting. Adopting a rigorus editorial policy, we then picked separate works to represent the unique temper of each individual Norf*ckeneaster.

Pluto has been incredibly understanding and generous to let us be so self-indulgent for their inaugural show.

730 Classon Ave
Brooklyn
Opening Saturday 6-8

2006-11-29T17:57:00.001-05:00

No No Spitting around here! We've always liked saliva and now we know why.
Natural-born painkiller found in human saliva

2006-11-27T09:11:00.000-05:00

We've been enjoying reading The Planets by Dava Sobel. last night we learned that diamonds are constantly being created in Jupiters skys, weird hu. Sobel tells us that a proper scale model of the solar system, using a bowling ball for the sun, would represent the 8,000-mile-wide earth with a peppercorn placed 78ft distant from the ball (it's impossible to get a sense of the distance between the planets when you look at pictures like this one). Also on our things to do list, The Hayden Planetarium has an interactive tour of the universe lecture on the first Tuesday of each month called Tuesdays in The Dome. Check out the planeterium schedual here.

2006-11-24T12:29:00.000-05:00

2006-11-19T09:50:00.000-05:00

David Scher opened at Pierogi Gallery last night. Fanfrickentastic show! I first came across Davids work in the early 90's when he was doing installations of scattered drawings, paintings and sculptures at Jack Tilton gallery. he began scaling up the paintings a few years ago (the painting shown here is 60"x84") and they just get better and better. The centerpiece is a painting called Practice World It shows a city scape becomming one infinite building like Pieter Bruegel's Tower of Bable. It's elegant and humorous, slightly abject, with pitch perfect color, and a delicate touch that's very much Scher's signature mark. There is something in the manner David paints which reminds me of Maurice Pendergast or Vuillard. The picture is drawn with a wash of a warm grisalle and then details are scumbled back into the picture with a light touch. Practice World is a beautiful painting and I dig the idea David is dealing with "that this “might just be practice for something else or...that through drawing the world one learns the world.” Nice. Congrats David.

2006-11-18T14:38:00.000-05:00

It's dark days for mankind!
Some thugs or thuglettes broke into the Jammy Jar by violently smashing the drivers side window and then preceeded to rifle thru the glove compartment and stole an ipod and our collection of quaters.
Pictured here is Mrs. Cub, feeling the pain.

(oddly the robbery robbers did not steal the 6 foot tall Swatch watch in the back seat!)

2006-11-17T17:00:00.000-05:00

Friday evening invocation

A petition to the G-ddess from the porch of ABCN to you gentle reader. May the big lady on the ball cast dried flowers and other decomposed remnants of organic material your way!

2006-11-15T08:55:00.001-05:00

Japan Issues Tsunami Warning After Quake

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Published: November 15, 2006

Filed at 8:25 a.m. ET

TOKYO (AP) -- Five small tsunamis hit northern Japan late Wednesday, estimated at no larger than 16 inches high, Japan's Meteorological Agency said.

A few minutes later, a second wave of 8 inches hit the nearby port city of Kushiro to the southwest, the agency said. More on this riveting story on the tiny tsunamis

2006-11-13T20:08:00.000-05:00

Join ABCN on a stroll through the gallery of 70's car interiors, won't you?

We're driving back to the Upstate Institution as we do every fricken Tuesday where the Jammy Jar gets to commune with nature.

2006-11-13T10:13:00.000-05:00

Our reintroduction to yoga has left us barely able to walk. The Mrs. is also not walking so well these days due to RLP
so we've ordered these stylish walker chairs from Pottery Barn (accessories like the brochure holder avalible at J.Crew)

2006-11-10T02:01:00.000-05:00

MMMMM, warm milky paint!

2006-11-08T22:15:00.000-05:00

Q: What does D.H. Rumsfeld and Jean Cocteau have in common?

A: The Blood of a Poet!

In 2003 Hart Seely of Slate magazine posted the now classic Poetry of D.H. Rumsfeld.
In a tribute to the outgoing secretary of defence we repost these poetic works for your consideration.

The Unknown-
As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say
We know there are some things
We do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don't know
We don't know.

—Feb. 12, 2002, Department of Defense news briefing

Glass Box
You know, it's the old glass box at the—
At the gas station,
Where you're using those little things
Trying to pick up the prize,
And you can't find it.
It's—
And so you keep dropping it
And picking it up again and moving it,
But— of you are probably too young to remember those—
Those glass boxes,
But— they used to have them
At all the gas stations
When I was a kid.

-6, 2001, Department of Defense news briefing

Happenings-
Your going to get told lots of things
You get told things every day that don't happen.
doesn't seem to bother people, they don't—
It's printed in the press.
The world thinks all these things happen.
They never happened.
Before in fact the story's there
That the world is constantly being fed
Things that haven't happened.
I can tell you is,
It hasn't happened.
It's going to
happen.

2006-11-08T09:14:00.000-05:00

Baby names were the topic of conversation over the weekend. ABCN's very own Selectman Mikey Iveson contributed severly to this list.

Girls
––––––
Quametris
Madora
Aro
Glendora
Eisenman
Kings-Highway
Yacht
Palmina
Phonetica
Connecticut
Castle
Roulette
Pluto
Beige
Dresden-Donut
Pete-kate
Dauphine
Delphine
Seyrig
Marchioness
Rumsfeld
Unisex
Rye

Boys
––––––
Van
Von
Hamlet
Chelmsford
Chumsford
Chumley
Trey
Tré
New Mexico
Omlet
Womelet
Sñotion (named after the new ocean, Sontion Ocean)
Ochre
Phosphorescent
Synalgos
Ethanol
Hyrdogen
Sphene
Pylon
Dastardly
Sontag
Tag

2006-11-06T20:59:00.000-05:00

We'll be giving haircuts to all the Clients at the Upstate Facility today. I'm doing everything in my power to make my class look like this.

We will be back tomorrow to discuss the media's recent love affair with the art world. Your homework assignment is to review the new Vanity Fair "art issue" featuring "renowned artist Robert Wilson's groundbreaking take on portraits in the 21st century"

I may not actually be able to write about it tomorrow. This groundbreaking has shaken me to the core, changing every thing I've ever thought or felt about portraiture, I may need to spend a few days in bed talking only to my therapists on the phone so to process my feelings about Robert Wilson, a veritable earthquake of an artist!

2006-11-06T08:00:00.000-05:00

Visualize GOD as a gigantic donut like Energy Matrix of Consciousness within which lie nested a series of donut -like matrices of energy ... read more about god and donuts and water conciousness and love portholes here...

2006-11-04T10:22:00.001-05:00

Memo from the Health Desk:

Arm Deskercises!

An Apple a Day
This "apple picker" stretch relieves tension in your arms, sides and waist. It feels great when done slowly and smoothly, so take your time and dont rush it. Perform the stretch first thing in the morning and periodically throughout the day.

Stretch your arms up, one at a time, as high as you can, as if reaching to pick an apple out of a tree. Repeat 10 times, alternating sides.

2006-11-03T09:30:00.000-05:00

Artist of the Day: Dan Perjovschi lives and works in Bucharest. He did a massive wall drawing project at the Tate Modern this past spring, covering 4 walls of a room with comic social commentary. We particularly like Sponsors are bad, curators are bad, directors are bad, artists are good. !

2006-11-02T22:13:00.000-05:00

What does the Gaylord Rehibilitation Center and Boadwee Blog have in common? How about a love of Dory Previn* and both of them turning me onto the song, Lady With a Braid. Gaylord aptly called it the most passive agressive love song ever sung.

Lady With a Braid appears on one of the best compilation CDs I've picked up in a long time, The Trip by Jarvis Cocker (of Pulp fame) it's ace beyond words, it's a double CD packed with juicy nuggets and worth every penny. Heres the Amazon link.

*LADY WITH A BRAID

would you care to stay till sunrise
it's completely your decision
it's just that going home is such a ride
going home is such a ride
going home is such a ride
going home is such a low and lonely ride

would you hang your denim jacket
near the poster by picasso
do you sleep on the left side or the right
would you mind if i leave on the light
would you mind if it isn't too bright
now i need the window open
so if you happen to get chilly there's this coverlet my cousin hand crocheted
do you mind if the edges are frayed
would you like to unfasten my braid

shall i make you in the morning
as cup of instant coffee
i will sweeten it with honey and with cream
when you sleep
do you have dreams? you can read the early paper
and i can watch you while you shave
oh god the mirror's cracked
when you leave
will you come back?
you don't have to answer that at all
the bathroom door is just across the hall
you'll find an extra towel on the rack
on the paisley patterned papered wall there's a comb on the shelf
i papered that wall myself
that wall myself

would you care to stay till sunrise
it's completely your decision
it's just the night cuts through me like a knife
would you care to stay awhile and save my life?
i don't know what made me say
that i've got this funny sense of humor
you know i could not be downhearted it i tried
it's just that going home is such a ride
going home is such a ride
going home is such a ride
isn't going home is such a low and lonely ride?

2006-11-01T08:21:00.000-05:00

This video gets the ABCN stamp of excellence.